(The Cavalier is on an extended leave of absence. The following was not written by him, although he does claim to have written the Dead Sea Scrolls.)
Has it really been 13 years in since Shaq dominated the Earth? Growing up in Central Florida, I remember having a Shaq Orlando Magic jersey and a Shaq 32 hat. Supercalifragelistic, Shaq was alidocious. Was that really thirteen years ago? Wow, I am gettin' old.
Anyway, tonight, as Shaq and his Miami Heat battle the Cleveland Cavaliers on the court, there works an underground movement determined to minimize Shaq's decade of mega multi-media influence off the court. This movement, named the Shaq Fu Liberation Front, has set its objective on ridding the world of Shaq's 1994 "Shaq Fu" video game. As we speak, these dedicated warriors are scouring the land one used video game store at a time buying one game at a time in an attempt to eliminate Shaq Fu from our social conscience.
Besides the fact that Shaq Fu is ranked as one of the worst video games of all-time, the soldiers of the Shaq Fu Liberation Front believe the game is inherently evil and only through its elimination can the world finally be at peace. Throughout their web site they display the proper techniques and methods needed to help in the struggle against Shaq Fu. For these distinguished warriors of commitment, the battle will not end until the physical presence and memory of Shaq Fu is destroyed.
Should we believe them? Can we afford not to?