With all the talk about Greg Oden's microfracture knee surgery, I feel neglected. Even though I failed to tell anyone save for my family and a few friends, I had a swollen lymph node removed this morning. Yeah, I had my neck cut. Fortunately, it didn't go anything like the scene in Saw II. Or maybe it did. I don't know, I was asleep the whole time. Then I woke up and said, "Hey, there is a bandage on my neck."
But where is my pity party? Where are the comparison of me to literary one-hit wonders such as Harper Lee and John Kennedy Toole? I haven't even been blogging for a year yet. Truthfully, I don't think I have even begun to reach my prime. Where are the analyses on my recovery time? Where are the posts about my faithful following of readers who have to endure the fear that The Serious Tip might not return as insightful, witty, great, or (insert-your-own-adjective) as it was before my surgery?
Fortunately, there is a history of bloggers coming back from surgeries. Here is one, and here is another. Sadly, there are also bloggers whose words are all we have left.
So which will it be for me? Will I resume blogging with the ferocity of a killer oryctolagus cuniculus? Will I be the Amare Stoudamire of the blogosphere? Or has my once-promising role as purveyor of wit and wisdom and interviewer of beautiful women been cut short? Will I be a blogosphere Bo Jackson?
Well, in case you are curious, it did take ten hours from surgery to this post. And I now understand the lament of the Master of Death in Shogun Assassin when he said, "When cut across the neck, a sound like wailing winter winds is heard, they say. I'd always hoped to cut someone like that someday, to hear that sound. But to have it happen to my own neck is ridiculous". But I promise you, dear reader, I will return. Even if I have to type with my toes, you will be amazed, I promise.
I will be back. And so will Greg Oden.