Monday, February 11, 2008

Bring Back Morganna!

While reading a news report about an Iranian exchange student jailed for making unwanted advances to a fellow student and kissing her breasts, I started thinking, whatever happened to that lady that used to run on to baseball fields and kiss unsuspecting players?

Has it really been eight years since Morganna the Kissing Bandit and her bountiful bosoms graced us with their presence?

Since 2001, no one has been able to track down the buxom baseball beauty. According to SI.com, after Morganna called it quits, she retired into anonymity in Columbus, Ohio.

Sadly, modern Internet communications have not been kind to Morgana. Although she has a Wikipedia page, she doesn't have a myspace page and the only YouTube clip of her is a heavily edited appearance on a sports talk show hosted by Lyle Alzado. There are no clips of her running out on the field. No video of her kissing anyone. No captures of her massive mammaries bouncing to and fro.

Surely somebody can commemorate Morganna's place in sports history. For without Morganna, would amply-breasted women have any place in sports? Would we have oogled Jenn Sterger? Would anyone have cared about Sarah Spain? What about the Packers bikini babes? Because of Morganna, big breasts and sports have come together like lamb and tuna fish peanut butter and jelly. And for that, she should be honored.

Perhaps instead of investigating what was stuck into Roger Clemens' rear end, Congress can look into the disappearance of a true baseball treasure. Someone somehow someway needs track down Morgana, create a "Tribute to Morganna" web site, and start a campaign to get her elected into the Hall of Fame. Whereas Buck O'Neill's omission might have been a travesty, the current ignorance of Morganna's contribution to our national pastime and to sports in general is a slap in the face to all that is decent in the world.

Bring back Morganna!

(UPDATE: Apparently, Upper Deck tried, but pulled their attempt at the last moment. - See Lion in Oil: I Bet You Have Never Seen Hillary Clinton Like This Before.)

4 comments:

Michael Beckwith said...

if the Rockford Peaches can have a wing at the HOF...why not Morganna?

Anonymous said...

She's got a wiki page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morganna), you just have to spell her name right (with 2 n's).

Anonymous said...

Morganna Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morganna

Maybe you missed because of the spelling?

Jordi said...

Yes, I spelt Morganna wrong. I need a proofreader. Especially when I re-do my entire post at 2:30 in the morning.