So because nothing is cooler than winter, and in honor of the soon-to-be-played Olympics, I present my latest obscure find: Sportlov, a recently-disbanded heavy metal band of winter game loving mock Satanists from Sweden.
According to the metal gothic web site Tartarean Desire, Sportlov was a brutal black metal band with a penchant for tunes about "skiing, drinking hot chocolate in the cold snow, stabbing with ice-taps, (and) snowball wars" all in the name of the Dark Prince. And Tartarean Desire dare call them "a parody band".
Because I don't speak Swedish, I attempted to roughly translate a verse from Sportlov's epic Snöbollskrieg. From the following,
INGEN DÖDLIG MÅ STOPPA VÅR FRAMFART
I BLINT APOKALYPTISKT RASERI
BERED DIG ATT DÖ FÖR VÅRA VAPEN
STENHÅRD SNÖBOLL MED GRUS INUTI
No Mortal May Stop Our Foregone
In Blind Apocolyptic Fury
Prepare Yourself to Die With (Para) Weapon
As Hard As Nails Snowball With Sand Inside
For more insight into the dark mind of these lethal Lucifer lovers, check out this video for Snöbollskrieg (might want to play on mute, unless you like incoherent metal).
For being Evil Incarnate, don't these guys throw like girls?