Monday, August 4, 2008

Mother Russia says "Nyet!" to emo

I'm a little behind on this, but I remember when Russia used to think of itself as a world power. The Great Bear had might, strength, and muscle. Then came the war in Afghanistan. Then the 1980 Olympics. Then Rocky 4. Then the wall fell, the Soviet Union collapsed, and Yakov Smirnoff migrated to Branson, Missouri.

Times have been hard for Mother Russia.

So in searching for a quick win, a victory that would bolster national morale and put pride in hearts of millions of Russians, last week the State Duma declared war on emo kids.

My guess is that the Russian government does not want thousands of depressed, gloomy, moping, socially withdrawn kids to turn into depressed, gloomy, moping, socially withdrawn adults. In that case, maybe the first step towards a better, brighter youth should be to move the kids out of depressed, gloomy, moping, internationally withdrawn Russia.

Note: Apparently Mexicans hate emo kids as well. How do you say, "Be vewy, vewy quiet ... I'm hunting emos" in Spanish?

1 comment:

Dev said...

He's actually one of the more popular Branson shows!