Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Mark Cuban to change team name if McCain becomes President

Dallas, TX -

With another election creeping closer and a new president due to be elected, it is almost time for the usual eccentrics and social outsiders to start pondering their responses to either new president. Typically, the most fringe of these reactions include right-wing militants rounding up their ammo or liberal Hollywood stars preparing to move to Canada. Rarely, however, do paranoid knee-jerk reactions come from successful billionaire NBA owners.

Of course, Mark Cuban is not the average billionaire.

Already rumored to be upset over John McCain's use of the name "maverick", The Serious Tip has learned the Dallas Mavericks owner is considering changing the team's name if the Republican candidate is elected president. According to an insider familiar with Cuban, the owner does not want the team mistaken for a political slogan or movement.

"Despite the fact that McCain 'Mavericks' jerseys might sell well, the Mavs become an unwilling advertisement. No president ever associated himself with the name 'Warriors', 'Hawks', 'Wizards', or 'Heat'."

The notion of changing a team name for political reasons is not unprecedented. During the Great Communist Scare of the 1950s, the Cincinnati Reds changed their team name to the Cincinnati Redlegs to differentiate themselves from communist association. The team reverted back the "Reds" name in 1959.

Although our source states Cuban does not like admitting the conflict is bothering him, the source states that Cuban stays up late at night worrying about the potential identity crises that might occur.

"All Texans wear 10-gallon hats. Mr. Cuban likes to keep things under his. Like cheeseburgers. But he gets all riled up at the thought of some old president guy thinking he is Dirk McGermanName."

The thought of a potential White House visit is also irking Cuban, according to our source.

"What if Mr. Cuban's Mavericks win a championship during a McCain administration? Do they even go to the White House? Let me guess, 'Mavericks meet maverick'? That's as easy as toilet humor."

Seeking the truth, The Serious Tip attempted to contact the Dallas Maverick's administrative offices. Our calls were not answered, although we did leave a few messages.

As we find out more, we will be sure to write about it here at The Serious Tip.


Anonymous said...

Maybe Mark Cuban should leave the country, like all those other Hollywood assholes did when Bush was re-elected. Oh, wait, that's right -- THEY STAYED HERE! So much for principle.

MODI said...

nice fact drop on the Cincinatti Red Legs

Polly said...

Latest news: Mark Cuban charged with insider trading