Monday, November 11, 2024

The Fire Burned in the Crossroads


 

"While he slept, the fire burned in the crossroads, first feeding on the alcohol and then on the dirt, as if the earth itself was soaked in moonshine. Within moments, the spark turned into a full blaze. Unlike a usual fire, however, the blaze was contained in the middle of the old intersection.


Before long, a hole grew in the middle of the fire that burned at the crossroads. From the blazing flame and the depths of the earth emerged a figure – a tall, slender, well-dressed man in a black suit, tie, and matching top hat. Once fully risen from the earth, the man spread his arms and extinguished the blaze."
 

- taken at the Bradfordville Blues Club, Bradfordville, FL 2/19/2022

Friday, November 8, 2024

Curveball at the Crossroads Easter Eggs and references

 


Curveball at the Crossroads is full of references and inferences. There are call-backs to famous baseball stories, famous blues legends, and many other items of popular culture.

Did you find the reference to the following?

- a baseball character made famous in Sports Illustrated?
- a famous speech in Field of Dreams?
- Casey at the Bat?
- a famous Jimi Hendrix song?
- a scene from Pee Wee's Big Adventure?
- a Snoop Dogg song?
- the Muddy Waters' song "Hoochie Coochie Man"?
- the culinary preference of Elwood Blues?
- the culinary preference of Elvis Presley?
- a food item sang about by blues legend Robert Johnson?
- pro wrestling's Iron Sheik?

Monday, November 4, 2024

Not So Serious Movie Review: Warning From Space (1956)


This is a monster movie without great monsters, an alien invasion movie without great aliens, a disaster movie that glosses over the disaster, a movie about an alien taking over a pop singer's body that barely mentions the pop singer, and movie that warns about atomic energy that doesn't do enough to make it serious.

Overall, the real warning is that this movie is a dud.

Imagine a movie in which an alien species need to send a message to humans. Knowing only one human, they make a clone of Taylor Swift. She infiltrates a nuclear lab to tell a scientist his energy formula is the only thing that can generate enough power to blow up a planet on a trajectory to hit earth. But only the aliens can harness the energy and he has to give it to them. Meanwhile, the people of Earth, led by Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck, attempt to knock the runaway planet off course with atomic bombs and mining equipment. And for some reason there is a mob boss is also trying to steal the energy formula. In the end, the aliens take the formula and help the Earthlings by destroying the planet, but not before buildings are wrecked and parts of Japan are flooded.

This movie is what happens when way too many concepts are jammed into a low budget movie. None of the ideas have a chance to breathe and none of the actors have a chance to be relatable.

They should have just called Gamera to destroy the incoming planet. Then they might have had a movie worth watching.

Grade: 1 intergalactic starfish out of 5.

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Book Review: My Real Dad Was a Stripper by Angela Scott


Quick interesting autobiography of Angela Scott, aka p*rn star Lexi Stone. Mostly takes places from her teen years to early 20s leading to her decision to get into the adult industry. There is a lot here that she unpacks. Bad relationships, good relationships, love, pain, death, birth, and how she kept a hustler's mentality, trying to make money to survive on her terms.

If I have one critique, it is that it ended abruptly. I would have like to have seen a second-to-last chapter on what her family, etc thought of her success in the industry, career highlights and insights, etc. Also curious if she dealt with the traumas she talks about often. Did she do therapy or is this book her therapy? Maybe there is a sequel coming. Overall, it is an interesting peek into the life of someone in the adult industry.

(Note: I did an interview with Angela way back in 2007 when she was modeling for Playboy before getting into p*rn. I googled her to see what she was doing these days and found her current career and her book. It was very interesting to see where my interview fell in her life.)

Grade: 5 adult stars of 5





Friday, October 25, 2024

Not so Serious Movie Review: Clownado (2019)

 

With a name like "Clownado", you know you are getting something good. Like Joe Dirt's momma said, "When you're down, stare at a clown". In this case, it's when you want something groovy, watch a clown tornado movie.

When watching B-Movies, I don't ask for much. I don't ask for award-winning dialogue. I don't ask for logic. I don't even ask for realistic special effects. But I do ask for originality. Clownado has that. Piles of it. Gooping, bloody, disgusting piles of originality.

Where else can you find a hitchhiking Black Elvis, a girl whose accent changes from New York to Alabama, a clown giving birth to a midget clown, and the legendary Joel D. Wynkoop?

It's not supposed to make sense. It's a movie about a tornado of killer clowns.

Summary: a woman cavorts with a witch who casts a spell trapping a bunch of belligerent clowns - including the woman's ex-lover - in a tornado. Led by the ex-lover, the clowns chase the woman into town and wreak havoc on the townsfolk.

(Disclaimer: I bought the movie from Mr. Wynkoop at an arts and book fair. I've wanted to meet him for a years. He is a good dude. But that's a post for another day.)

Grade: 5 bloody rubber noses of 5

Monday, October 21, 2024

Not so Serious Book Review: The Great Unraveling: Losing Our Way in the New Century by Paul Krugman

 

A clear money grab by Krugman to put all of his columns over 5 years or so in a book. One can only read his thoughts on social security or the California energy crisis so many times. Summaries would be a lot better.

I did find his thoughts on how extreme the Bush Administration was very interesting. The Bush Administration is small potatoes compared to the grift of the Trump Administration. But I have no interest in reading 200 columns from Krugman on that subject.

Started: 9/4/24

Completed: 10/12/24

Grade: 3 unraveled stars of 5


Connect with me on Goodreads for more book reviews and info on my books.


Michael Lortz's books on Goodreads

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Not So Serious Movie Review: Black Fist (1974)


 

I love a good blaxploitation film. Especially one that includes the line "All I ever wanted to do in life was not to have to kiss whitey's ass!". I feel that in my bones.

Alas, that's the highlight of this run-of-the-mill mid-70s flick about a street fighter who has to fight the mob and crooked cops. There is a lot of funk, some soul, not a lot of jive, and no turkeys. And it stars Beyonce's future stepdad. But that isn't enough to save the movie from poor production value, clunky dialog, and wooden acting.

Originally intended to be two movies, "Bogard" and "Get Fisk", Black Fist is the result of someone taking the best parts of both and merging them into one funky super movie. But low budget will always be low budget. I blame The Man.

Grade: 4 funky fists of 5

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Not So Serious Movie Review: Haxan (1922)

 

 

Where to start with Haxan? It's evil. It's creepy. It's old. It's crass. It's the elderly woman who lives in the old house on the corner who sends chills down your spine when she gives you that look. She is definitely a witch, right?

Haxan is a movie about witchcraft and evil. It is part documentary and part silent film. It is a bit slow, so I watched it in parts, but it is broken down into chapters, which makes for good stop points.

The movie outlines the rise of witchcraft and witch hunts from medieval times to the 20th Century. It gives light to the ridiculousness of the judicial system of the past, which encouraged snitching and false accusations. The point of Haxan is if you were an old, poor woman, maybe one down on your luck, you stood a high chance of being accused of witchcraft and tortured and killed. Along the way, you might want to accuse someone else of witchcraft, because if you are going to die for an untruth, why not bring an enemy down with you?

From a movie perspective, Haxan is fascinating. The costumes and effects are still chilling and spooky one hundred years later. Without the aid of digital effects, Satan still looks like the legit Prince of Darkness. For its day, it was a high budget production. Gotta make the Devil look evil when his butt is getting kissed by wicked nuns.

Most of all, Haxan is an experience. It is a must see for horror fans or anyone interested in the occult. I am surprised it is not more widely known. Maybe torture and hell isn't everyone's favorite subject. 

Grade: 5 Satan butts out of 5


Btw, you can watch it here for free:

 



Wednesday, October 2, 2024

A Self-Published Author's Guide to Tampa Bay Bookstores (Updated Oct 2024)


Owning an independent bookstore is a monumental challenge. From 2000 to 2005, my mother owned a new and used bookstore in Melbourne, Florida. Although it didn't last, Once and Again Bookstore provided me insight into the workings of bookstores and their battle for existence. Unfortunately, online bookstores and big box stores still have a stranglehold on the book buying market. But in the last 15 years or so, many independent bookstores have carved a niche in their local communities.  

Independent bookstores are not a charity. Selling books is about making money. Bookstores want to make money to stay open. Authors should want to make money on their novel. We have to make our relationship as symbiotic and synergistic as possible.

There are several bookstores in the Tampa Bay area. I have met most of the bookstore owners in the area and several beyond Tampa Bay in an attempt to get my books on their shelves so they can sell my books and we can all make money. Most of them carry my novel. Some bookstores do consignment, some order from Ingram Spark, and some buy directly from me. Some don't carry my books at all. And a few I have yet to meet.

Pro tip number 1: distribute your book via Ingram Spark. Don't self-publish on Amazon if you want to work with bookstores. They won't buy books from the company that is trying to put them out of business. If you want to be Amazon exclusive, be my guest. But you are on your own.

Pro tip number 2: if you are on Ingram Spark, give your book the greatest bookseller discount. I think the discount is 50% off for booksellers. Don't ask questions. Do it.

Pro tip number 3: the best way to meet bookstore owners is to walk in their store. Look around. If your book is a fit for their store, find a book that is not yours that you want. Buy it. Then talk to them about your book. Show that you are willing to support them before you ask them to support you. Also, if you know other authors whose books the bookstore carries, discuss those connections.

This list will be broken down into how the bookstores acquire my books. There is absolutely no preferential order. I have a great relationship with every bookstore I work with. I hope this list comes in handy for other self-published authors in the Tampa Bay area and beyond. This is just my experience. Yours might be different.


Order from Ingram Spark

Oxford Exchange Book Store (Tampa)

Point of contact: Laura Taylor, Bookstore & Programming Director

Best way to contact: visit and email - Laura(@)oxfordexchange.com

The Oxford Exchange is located in downtown Tampa. The bookstore only orders from Ingram Spark and does not do consignment. Hence, they are looking for books that are known or authors that will move product. I was part of the Oxford Exchange Book Fair for two years and did well. Then I approached their front counter and asked how they would carry my novel on their shelves. I emailed Laura Taylor and asked how my book can be on their shelves. Laura ordered two copies. During my next visit, I signed the books and made social media content letting my followers know the book was available at the Oxford Exchange Book Store.

Pro tip number 4: bookstores will almost always let you create content involving your book in their store. At a minimum, every time you visit a local bookstore that carries your book, take a picture of your book on the shelf and a picture of the store. Post both on Facebook or Instagram and be sure to tag the store. You can also do tiktok, youtube, snapchat, twitter, your personal website, or wherever else readers might find out about your book and the store. The more content, the better. This is an easy way to show the bookstore that you are doing your part to sell your book.

 

Tombolo Books (St Pete)

Point of Contact: Alsace - owner

Best way to contact: visit and email - authors(@)tombolobooks.com

Tombolo Books is one of the most high profile bookstores in the Tampa Bay area. If New York Times Bestselling authors are going to visit, they are going to go to Tombolo. While the folks at Tombolo are nice, they are busy. Getting your book approved for their shelves takes time. That said, once I was listed on Ingram Spark, I immediately filled out their local author form. I remember emailing a few times to see if they had reviewed at my book. It took a few months for them to order my novel, even after I was voted "runner-up, best book by a local author" in the local arts and entertainment newspaper and after I received a blurb from a well-known local author.

At the time, the local author form required Ingram Spark, reviews from other local authors, and an active social media presence. I see they now are doing consignment. Whatever the requirement, it is Tombolo, they are busy, and people buy plenty of books there.

Fun story: after I learned Tombolo had two copies of my novel on their shelf, I visited a brewery across the street and talked to people about my book. I mentioned I was going to visit the bookstore and they followed me and bought a copy of my book. I signed it for the buyer right there on the spot. That's how you prove to a bookstore that you can move product. 


BookendsYbor (Tampa)

Point of Contact: Teresa - owner

Best way to contact: visit and email - read(@)bookendsybor.com

BookendsYbor is the newest bookstore in the Tampa Bay area. They are so new, their brick-and-mortar storefront isn't even open (as of June 2023). They do however have a bookmobile they are bringing to local pubs and breweries. They are also planning to be part of the Ybor Saturday Market.

I found BookendsYbor via Bookshop.org. I followed them on social media, dropped them an email, told them how much I am looking forward to their opening, and mentioned my book. They said they would look into ordering it from Ingram. Within two weeks, they had copies in hand. I then visited their next bookmobile event, chatted with a few customers, and their copies of Curveball at the Crossroads were sold. Hopefully this is the start of a great author-bookstore relationship.


Bookstore1 (Sarasota)

Point of contact: Byrn - Director of Programming

Best way to contact: email - bryn(@)sarasotabooks.com

Bookstore1 is located in downtown Sarasota. I have been part of the Bookstore1 Book Fair for the last two years. In preparation for their event, Bookstore1 orders five books per author every book fair via Ingram Spark. If authors don't sell all five, the store will carry the book on their shelves until they sell. Bryn and the team are great and very nice. They do a great job of promoting the book fair and the authors. Bookstore1 is an hour away for me, so it is a little difficult to visit regularly. However, they host author events and book club readings regularly.


The Gilded Page (Tarpon Springs)

Point of contact: Julia - owner

Best way to contact: visit and email - thegildedpagebookstore(@)gmail.com

The Gilded Page is a relatively new bookstore in Tarpon Springs. I visited The Gilded Page first, and while there, I discussed how they carried an author I am friends with. Then I mentioned my book and how it might be a fit on their fiction shelf. Julia agreed and ordered a copy of Curveball at the Crossroads.

The Gilded Page both orders local books on Ingram if possible or they do consignment. If doing consignment, they ask for up to five books from the author. If they order on Ingram, they order one at a time. I prefer the upfront revenue of Ingram so I opted for that. I re-visited The Gilded Page a few weeks later to sign the copy they received as well as to make some social media content of my book at their store.


Book & Bottle (St Pete)

Point of contact: unknown

Best way to contact: visit or website 

Book & Bottle is a bookstore/coffee shop/wine store in downtown St Petersburg. They have a small selection of books on one wall of their store. The few times I have visited, they were nice, and I enjoyed the drink and the ambiance. Due to their limited selection, they are preferential to new books.

However, in researching this blog post, I discovered their author request form. I filled it out and requested them to consider my book for both their inventory and their local author open house. Within a few weeks, they ordered a copy of my novel and it is on their shelves.


Portkey Books (Safety Harbor)

Point of contact: Crystel - owner

Best way to contact: Visit

Portkey Books is a small bookstore in Safety Harbor, Florida and the most recent store to carry my debut novel. As a small store, they are very selective in the books they carry. To echo my pro tip above, you have to be on Ingram and a return policy is recommended.

Portkey Books asks that local authors donate their first book to the store as an act of good faith. After that book sells, they will continue to order the book from Ingram as long as they sell. As my publisher cost is $6, that's worth it to me. Hopefully, after one copy sells, they order more copies and more copies after that and I make the $6 and more via Ingram.


Consignment

Books at Park Place (Gulfport)

Point of contact: Nancy - owner

Best way to contact: visit and phone (727) 388-9093

Books at Park Place is probably the most similar to what my mother's bookstore was. Coincidentally, Books at Park Place was the first bookstore my novel was in. Books at Park Place is consignment only for self-published authors. They have a form for self-published authors to sign that describes the business relationship.

Among the benefits of working with Books at Park Place is that Nancy and her team will promote local authors just as much as well-known authors. Books at Park Place designates an entire side wall to local authors and I have visited and seen my novel among others in the front window display. They also have a great relationship with many authors and Nancy and her team are willing to answer any questions authors may have about working with Ingram and the selling process. Unfortunately, they haven't done as many author events post-pandemic as they did in the past. Perhaps that will change soon.


Wilson's Book World (St Pete)

Point of contact: Michelle - owner

Best way to contact: visit

Wilson's Book World is a family owned and operated, used and antiquarian bookshop in St. Pete. They have a steady and loyal clientele and are very personable. They don't carry new books, but they do carry local authors on consignment. They accept three books per author and they put a copy of the book in the front of the aisle for a month before putting all the copies in their associated section. Lastly, their percentage return on consignment is the best in the area, although they don't provide the money for the books until all the books are sold.


Mojo Books and Records (Tampa)

Point of contact: Melanie - owner

Best way to contact: visit and email - mojotampa(@)comcast.net

Mojo Books and Records is a combination music and book store. They have been around for a long time and have a strong underground following. They mostly carry used books and cater to the University of South Florida market. They do consignment for local authors and will carry two books at a time.

I like Mojo Books and Records. They are nice folks and they are very responsive, but although their store is divided 50/50 between books and music, their focus isn't books. If they can do more for books, and especially local authors, they could become a powerful ally.

 

The Paperback Exchange (New Port Richey)

Point of contact: Joanie - owner

Best way to contact: visit or Instagram - @PaperbackExchangeBookstore

The Paperback Exchange is a classic used bookstore in New Port Richey, Florida. Like Wilson's and Books at Park Place, they mostly carry used books. They also carry a wide selection of new books by local authors. I was surprised how many local authors they carry and honestly, how few I recognized. They do consignment and give 50% on each sale. I left two books there but some authors have left more.

The Paperback Exchange reminds me a lot of my Mother's old store. Rows and rows of used books. They advertise carrying over 150,000 books. That's a lot. As a local author, there is a lot of competition in the store. Creating a desire for your book is essential or else it will get lost in the stacks and no one will buy it. If your book is there, create videos, take pictures, and post about the store on social media. They are great folks and they are doing a great service by carrying your book, but you have to create the demand.


This Bookstore Kills Fascists (Mobile)

Point of contact: Tiffany - owner

Best way to contact: visit or Facebook - @ThisBookStoreKillsFascists

This Bookstore Kills Fascists is a niche pop-up/mobile bookstore run by Tiffany Razzano. Tiffany sets up at street markets and festivals all around Tampa Bay from Sarasota to St Pete to Tampa and anywhere else that will have her. Her selection is very focused on bring attention to marginalized or minority voices. She is an outspoken advocate for freedom of speech and a proponent of provocative media.

This Bookstore Kills Fascists sells both new and used books that fit her niche. Tiffany does consignment for local authors giving 50% on sales. She carries my book The Man Makes You Work among her wares.


Purchase

Tiger Dust (Tampa)

Point of contact: Jason and Laura - owners

Best way to contact: visit or Instagram DM @tigerdustheights

Tiger Dust is not a traditional bookstore. They are an oddities and novelty store in the Seminole Heights area of Tampa. They feature a wall of occult, sci-fi, fantasy, and hard-to-find books. During my first visit there I realized that my book about someone who makes a deal with the Devil would fit their selection of books. They offered to buy three books from me at a 33% discount. I make a few dollars above my distributor cost and they make a $5 profit per book. Tiger Dust is also part of local merchant block party on the last Thursday of every month where authors and other creatives they carry (jewelry, art, etc) are encouraged to mingle and engage with the store patrons. I have sold and signed a few books at the Thursday block party. If your novel fits their store, Tiger Dust is recommended.


Stores that do not yet carry my books

Back in the Day Books (Dunedin)

Point of contact: Boe Rushing - owner

Best way to contact: email (maybe): backinthedaybooks(@)yahoo.com

I visited Back in the Day books recently and talked to one of their employees. I had also contacted them via Facebook Messenger over a year ago. Both times they mentioned they don't carry local authors and they don't do consignment. Following my visit, I emailed the owner explaining that they are on a very short list of regional bookstores that don't carry my book and that I hope they would change their mind. Especially in the case of a local author who is selling copies in other stores. I also mentioned my book is baseball fiction and they are located 1/2 mile from a baseball stadium. Unfortunately, I have not yet received a response.


Black English Bookstore (Tampa)

Point of contact: Gwen Henderson - owner

Best way to contact: Unknown

Black English is the newest bookstore to open in the Tampa Bay area. Owned and operated by Tampa City Councilwoman Gwen Henderson, they opened to much fanfare in early December 2023. They are predominantly focused on African-American authors and books on the African-American experience. They are a small store and are very welcoming but I have not yet discussed my novel with them. If your book is a fit, I encourage you to reach out to them.  


The Book Rescuers (Pinellas Park)

Point of contact: Unknown

Best way to contact: visit or email / phone: thebookrescuers(@)gmail.com / (727) 222-0495

The Book Rescuers is a giant used book warehouse in Pinellas Park. They price most of their books between $1-$3. While their business model is interesting and I applaud their efforts on banned books, my novel is not used, so I haven't worked with them.


Haslem's Bookstore (St Pete)

Point of contact: Unknown

Best way to contact: Unknown

I am listing Haslem's out of respect for one of the area's oldest local bookstores. Unfortunately, they closed during the pandemic and have not been open since. If I had to guess, my book will never be in the store and the property will turn into condos within three years.


Barnes & Noble (various locations)

Point of contact: Unknown

Best way to contact: email - crm3429(@)bn.com

Barnes & Noble is obviously not an independent bookstore. They are however the biggest box bookstore chain in Tampa Bay. That said, they don't carry self-published authors. As a chain, they don't do consignment. They also don't order print-on-demand, which includes Ingram Spark. I recently visited the new location on Westshore Blvd and asked if they would ever do a local author event and I was given a business card with the above email address. As of July 2023, I have not yet emailed.


Again, I hope this helps other self-published authors in Tampa Bay area and beyond. Self-publishing is a hustle and is a lot of work. You are not only an author, but a marketer, an event planner, and a salesperson. But the more places you place your book, the more chances it has to be bought. It is a numbers game, but by working with local bookstores, you increase your chances of success.

Good luck!

(Image from https://www.artstation.com/artwork/JlQV3m)

Sunday, September 29, 2024

Meeting Gabino Iglesias at Tombolo Books

 

One of the most important things about being a writer or an author is being a fan of other's writing. No writer lives in a vacuum. We are surrounded by other writers. Some we look up to, some we help up, some we look to as peers. As writers, we are part of a huge community. 

Gabino Iglesias is an author I look up to. He has put out some amazing books and is a fixture of great writing wisdom and encouragement on Twitter. Every Friday, Gabino encourages his followers to retweet about his book and in turn retweets about theirs. That's huge to someone just starting out or someone with far less followers than Gabino. To date, he has retweeted about my novel Curveball at the Crossroads maybe ten times. Although I will RT about his book whenever I can, I save his RT power for times when I have something happening, like an upcoming book signing or a TV appearance.

To boot, Gabino is also a metalhead with similar taste in loud music.

On Tuesday, September 24th, I had the pleasure of meeting Gabino at his book signing at Tombolo Books in St Pete. He was awesome, answering a lot of great questions and doing a brief reading from his latest book, House of Bone and Rain.

After the event, Gabino signed books for the attendees. As he signed mine, I asked if he wanted a copy of Curveball at the Crossroads. He said yes. When I brought him the book and signed it for him, he complimented the cover and said he recognized it from his retweets. That was an awesome feeling. 

You always hope people in real life are as cool as they are online. Gabino Iglesias is the real deal. I'm looking forward to reading House of Bone and Rain and hope to cross paths with him again. Maybe next time, I'll be the one with the new book.