Coronavirus Death Metal Album

I probably listen to too much extreme metal. I was imagining what an entire COVID-19-themed metal band would call themselves, their album, and their songs.

I would buy this album and I would see this band in concert. No doubt.

A dinosaur in corpse paint

I'd like to see a dinosaur in corpse paint.
I searched Google images for one and I couldn't find it.
What a wonderful world we live in.
Whatever I imagine, I can type it in and have it appear.
If it already exists.
But a dinosaur in corpse paint doesn't exist.
According to google.
It should.

If I was a dinosaur, I would be all about black metal.
A giant meteor is coming and we are all going to die.
Shut up, dude. No, it's not.
Hundreds of millions of years later, you are correct.
Boom.
Imagine you were born right after the meteor hit.
You don't even get to live in the time when being a dinosaur was cool.
The peak of dinosaur death metal.

Darkness envelops the Earth.
Life as we know it is gone.
Death. Death. Death.
Everything around you is dying.
The sky is dark. Plant life is dying.
Even the pterodactyls no longer fly.
There is plenty to eat among the dying.
Soon they will be gone.
And you as well.
Death. Death. Death.

Are there any dinosaur themed metal bands?
Metal bands love the apocalypse.
Dinosaurs lived through an apocalypse.
One day they might find this blog post buried in amber.
Resurrect it with shards of its HTML DNA.
Rebuild it like the 6 Million Dollar Man.
We have the technology.
We need the page views.

And with that, it's time to retire for the eve.
2 scoops of mental musings and a tablespoon of insomnia.
But still no dinosaurs in corpse paint.

Arranging a race between Neil Fallon of Clutch and John Andretti

Recently, I attended my eighth concert of heavy metal stalwarts Clutch. I've written about my affinity for Clutch before, both here and in the Tampa Bay Times.  But today I wanted to share a few things: a link about Clutch and the time I tried to arrange a go-cart race between the lead singer of Clutch and a member of the famed Andretti family.

The Wall Street Journal recently wrote about Clutch in their Speakeasy blog. Of course, there is a Star Wars tie-in, because it's 2015 and there has to be, but it is still a good article.

The third time I saw Clutch was in Tallahassee, Florida at one of the many locations of the Cow Haus, which moved several times before settling at a location on Railroad Ave and then became The Beta Bar.

(At the old location I saw Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains and Clutch and in the newer locale I saw Buckcherry and Clutch again.)

Prior to the first time seeing Clutch in Tallahassee, I dropped an email to the (at-the-time unofficial) Clutch website: Pro-Rock.com:

Sent: Monday, March 19, 2001 4:14 PM
Subject: Hey Datskat

Hey man,
Great job on the pro-rock page. I've been checking out for years now (since 96 or so) and I just want to say keep up the great work. I have a question for you maybe you can relay to the band. Is Neil really interested in racing Andretti as he mentions in Pure Rock Fury? I am from Melbourne, FL and there is an Andretti Thrill Park go-cart type place here that my mother works in. John Andretti usually visits the park when NASCAR races in Daytona. Maybe, just maybe Neil can show Andretti how ready he is.
Mike

A few weeks later, I received a reply.

Sent: Sunday, April 1, 2001 5:30 PM
Subject: Re: Hey Datskat

forwarded message to Neil. let me know if you hear any replies.

thanks,
djf

Doug Fisher
Graphic Designer
Broad Street Designs

A few months after the correspondence, on June 2, 2001, I attended the show. I was lucky enough to chat with each member of Clutch and get them all to sign my copy of their CD "Pure Rock Fury".

When I chatted with lead singer Neil Fallon, I asked him a few questions such as which was his favorite song, if he remembered the location where I had first seen them in a bar in Houston, Texas on October 10, 1997, and whether or not he received the above correspondence. Fallon said he did, but unfortunately he was not able to get to Melbourne, Florida to actually race an Andretti.

ANDRETTI'S NEVER RACED ME BUT IF HE WANTS TO OH I'M READY COORDINATION OF THE EYE AND HAND IS NOT MY STRONG POINT BUT I MAKE DUE WITH WHAT I HAVE.

In the 14 years since, I wonder if they ever made it happen.

Alice in Chains and Pantera belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Catching up with my favorite blogs, I found an interesting article in music blog Gunshy Assassin. According to writer Chris Harris, several fans have started a petition to get acclaimed rock band Alice in Chains in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

As of this writing, the petition had 1,158 e-signature of the desired 2,500.  I'm not sure how effective e-petitions are, or if the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would care even if the organizers exceed 2,500 e-signatures.


But I do know Alice and Chains belongs in the Rock and Hall of Fame.

According to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's website:

Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record. Criteria include the influence and significance of the artists’ contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll.

Alice in Chains' first album, Facelift, was released on August 21, 1990. This was no minor release either. "Man In The Box" was on Facelift.

Following Facelift came Dirt, the band's best selling album and the album considered one of the best grunge albums of all-time. Since the release of Dirt, Alice in Chains has been a major success in the music industry. According to the all-knowing and almighty Wikipedia:

Alice in Chains has sold more than 14 million albums in the United States, around 35 million worldwide, released two number-one albums, had 21 top 40 singles, and has received nine Grammy nominations.

Not only were Alice in Chains successful, they were also influential. Since their emergence, many other bands copied elements of Alice in Chains' distinct sound. Bands such as Godsmack, Staind, Sevendust, and dozens of less successful bands emulated their riffs and rhythm. Their lyrics of pain, strife, and suffering inspired bands such as Disturbed, Korn, and the Deftones. As a matter of fact, most of the late '90s and early 2000s heavy rock that was played on the radio owed a debt of gratitude to Alice in Chains. And that, of course, influenced a lot of the metal scene today.

Personally, I never saw the original Alice in Chains live. I did see them with their new lead singer in 2007 and saw a solo show by guitarist Jerry Cantrell in 2004.


Another band who belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is Pantera.

Although their first few albums were definitely not the influential sound they were best known for, after they replaced original singer Terry Glaze with Phil Anselmo and released Cowboys from Hell on July 24, 1990, Pantera changed heavy metal forever.

Mixing the grooves of ZZ Top and Van Halen with the aggression of the Louisiana metal scene, Pantera influenced countless bands. From their sound to their style to their legendary partying and drinking, Pantera was one of the biggest metal groups in the world for over 10 years. This despite few singles and a sound that was often a little too loud and hard for radio.

Revisiting the almighty wiki:

They also have been influential to the development of nu metal, metalcore, and several other movements. They have also been called one of the pioneers of the New Wave of American Heavy Metal. Popmatters has claimed that, "Darrell Abbott's influence on the entire genre of heavy metal is massive; after Cowboys From Hell and Vulgar Display of Power, every notable young American metal band since has, in some way or another, copied their guitar style from those records: Korn, Limp Bizkit, Slipknot, Hatebreed, Lamb of God, Shadows Fall... the list is endless."

I also never had the chance to see Pantera live, although I did see side projects from their members when the band was on "hiatus". I saw Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul in Damageplan in 2004 (only three weeks before Dimebag was shot) and I saw Phil Anselmo's Superjoint Ritual in 2005.

Unfortunately, metal bands haven't seen much positive reception from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Seeing that it took until 2006 to elect Black Sabbath, the rest of the metal scene doesn't seem to have much of a chance.

Former Pantera drummer Vinnie Paul has accepted this reality.

From AL.com:

Do you care if Pantera ever gets inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Uh, I don't really think so, man. It's already been proven there are tons of travesties that have gone on with that place. How in the world did it take forever to get Black Sabbath in there? Honestly, I don't think Pantera will ever get in there. But if we do I'm going to embrace it just like anything else. I've actually been there and heavy metal is barely even represented in the place so I wouldn't expect that to happen.

Either that should change or a separate Heavy Metal Hall of Fame should be created.

While Green Day, Grandmaster Flash, and several pop, jazz, blues, and other acts are embraced with open arms, it's time the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame embrace Alice in Chains and Pantera, two of the most influential acts in recent hard rock and metal history.

My favorite Tampa Bay music venues

A few weeks ago, the Tampa Bay Times (who I have written for) published an "Ultimate Bar Guide" for the Tampa Bay area. One of the sections they divided bars into was the best places in Tampa Bay to see live music. Their list:

• The Ale and the Witch (St. Pete)


• The Brass Mug (Tampa)


• The Orpheum (Tampa)


• Pelican Pub (St. Pete)


• Hideaway Cafe (St. Pete)


• Uncle Mike's Smokehouse Grill (Plant City)

I've never been to three of their six venues and probably should go, as the TBT crew are well-versed in their area music and their recommendations are probably pretty good.

Here is my list of best music venues in Tampa Bay. It is slightly different.

1. The Brass Mug (Tampa) - raw, loud, and isolated, despite being 5 minutes from University of South Florida. Best metal bar in the area seems to still be a work in progress after move to new location. Bands I've seen there: Obituary, Cannibal Corpse, Secrets She Kept


2. Crowbar (Tampa) - wide array of genres helps. Perfect venue for Ol' Dirty Sundays weekly hip-hop night. Bands I've seen there: Obituary, Talib Kweli, DJ Scratch, RJD2, Weekend Nachos, several local shows.


3. Hideaway Cafe (St Pete) - I need to go here more often, especially on a blues night. Only been once. Beautiful set-up. Very "unplugged"-esque. As the TBT folks mentioned, the Hideaway Cafe is billed as a "listening room", which is much different than the loud energetic concert vibes I am used to. A place for music listeners.


4. Skipper's Smokehouse (Tampa) - Eclectic blues, jam, reggae bar. Great vibe. Awesome decor. Would be much higher if not for terrible parking lot. Impossible to find a place to park when they have live music. I've turned around and gone home in frustration a few times. Bands seen here: JJ Grey & Mofro


5. Jannus Live (St Pete) - Outdoor courtyard venue that was redone a few years ago. Wide array of bookings helps. Being on a block with other bars, clubs, and pizza places is also a plus. Bands I've seen there: George Clinton, Wu-Tang Clan, Mobb Deep.

Places I need to go to that could make the list:

• Ybor City Jazz House (Tampa) - New live jazz place in Ybor. Place for "grown folks". Dress code required. DJ Sandman, who I have interviewed, DJs upstairs on Saturday night.


• Ringside Cafe (St. Pete) - Haven't visited since they moved to their new location near Jannus Live. Live blues and rock puts this place high on my "must-see" list.


• Hard Rock Cafe (Tampa) - Been for food, not for concerts. Great environment. My favorite place to people watch. Growing reputation as a place for good rock.

Other places in the Tampa Bay area I've seen music (bands I've seen in parentheses):

• The amphitheater (Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails, Eric Clapton, Robert Randolph, Alice in Chains, Velvet Revolver, Incubus)


• Ruth Eckerd Hall (BB King)


• Tampa Bay Times Forum (Pearl Jam, Kid Rock)


• State Theater (Sevendust, Clutch, Aesop Rock, House of Pain)


• Ritz Ybor (Sevendust, Southern Darkness Fest, Rodrigo & Gabriela, Black Label Society)


• The Orpheum (Southern Darkness Fest)


• Local 662 (local bands)


• Fubar (Secrets She Kept, local bands)


• Pegasus Lounge (local bands)

Southern Darkness Fest in Tampa 8/23/2014

On August 23rd, I checked out the first Southern Darkness Fest held in Tampa. The multi-venue hard rock, metal, hardcore, and punk show was the first festival of it's kind to be held in Tampa. According to the founder,

Southern Darkness is unique for a couple of reasons: the festival actually presents a coherent narrative and it’s exceedingly cheap show for so many bands.

Between 28 bands and 3 bars, there was a lot going on and of course, I was unable to catch it all. But I wanted to give a quick review of what I did see. Instead of going into a longform narrative, I'm breaking the review into chunks and give each part a grade.

1) Music - A : This is a no-brainer. I wouldn't be going to the show if I didn't want to hear the music. That said, however, I wasn't familiar with hardly any of the bands. As a matter of fact, I had only heard of three (Black Tusk, ASG, and Weekend Nachos), and that was because they had songs on a Relapse Records sampler I picked up. So I had heard three songs from the catalog of 28 possible bands. Maybe less than 1% of the total music?

(Compare that to the Soundgarden show I saw recently where I had most of the songs in my collection for 20 years.)

Every band was new to me and none disappointed.

Here is where I have to admit I missed half the festival. I only saw 5 bands total, only one song from one of them. I saw Scrog (half their set), Weekend Nachos, Black Tusk, Bongripper (one song), and Pelican. I didn't realize the festival began at 3pm. I thought it began at 8pm. But what I did see was badass.

Of these, Black Tusk was the most imposing, Weekend Nachos had the most energy, and Pelican was the most groove heavy. Each band brought something different to the table. I felt a little old for Weekend Nachos (I wasn't the only one), but their show was really good. Stage diving, mosh-pit slamming, and high energy.

Black Tusk is described on Wikipedia as "swamp" and "sludge" metal. They were more "grown-man" metal than the somewhat punk vibe of Weekend Nachos. With their tattoos, long beards, and Black Sabbath-esque riffs, Black Tusk looked like they could be part of the WWE's Wyatt Family. I was impressed and even picked up a CD.

Pelican also impressed me a lot. They were the headliner, so of course they drew the most attention from the crowd. And they did not disappoint. All instrumental groove-metal songs. I've often critiqued some bands by their lead singer. I've dug the music, just not the tone of the singer. With Pelican, I didn't have to worry about that as there were no vocals at all. Just over an hour of instrumental heavy metal. Good stuff.

2) Venues - A- : The Southern Darkness Fest was held in Ybor City's Orpheum, Crowbar, and Ritz Ybor. I had seen shows at each of these venues and knew each were good places for live music. Of the three, Crowbar was the most crowded and with Weekend Nachos, it was the most energetic venue. Orpheum was a bigger venue and its dark vibe suited the doom metal bands that played there very well. Of the three, Ritz Ybor was the least impressive. Instead of their main stage, Black Tusk was in a side room. The room held a decent size crowd, and Ritz probably realized Black Tusk wasn't going to pack their 500 head main room, but being stashed in a side room was a little disappointing. Thankfully Black Tusk did not disappoint.

Another spot for improvement would be give each concert-goer a venue set list, perhaps with a genre listing next to each band. When I walked from one bar to the next, not only did I not know who was playing, I didn't know what type of metal it was. Each bar was a crapshoot.

3) Ticket Prices - A : The total festival cost on the day of the show was $45. No processing fee, no handling fee, just $45 for 28 bands and 10 hours of music. And had I bought the ticket a day earlier, the cost would have been $35. And had I been there on time, I would have seen more music for the price I did pay.

But I paid $15 each for 3 bands and 4 hours of music. That's still not bad.

4) Concessions - C : Most bands had a merch table, which was awesome, but what was missing was a festival t-shirt. I was hoping to buy one. The only merch the overall festival had was a small poster they were selling for $10, which I thought was overpriced. If it was a larger poster I could hang on a wall, then perhaps, but I was not going to buy a small poster.

Maybe next year, if they do a second Southern Darkness Fest, they will have festival t-shirts or large posters. Some room for improvement there.

5) Overall - A : I had a good time, drank some beer, and rocked out to some metal without spending an arm and a leg. That's a good night. I hope there is a second festival next year and they book similar bands. Next year, I promise I will get their earlier.

The annoying trend of phones at concerts

FIX

Regular readers of this site know I am an avid concert-goer. I am at a live music performance at least every other week (gotta leave some time for stand-up comedy and pro wrestling).

By far one of the worst recent trends at concerts is the increasing inclination of concert goers to stick their phones in the air and attempt to record performances.

There is one and only one reason people do this: so they can upload them to YouTube and hope the rest of the fanbase sees their work. I guess they feel they have to put the videos out there for the advancement of the fanbase and maybe the advancement of their ego.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with taking a picture of a concert. Although there are professionals that do that better, a self-taken picture at a unique angle makes a nice memento. But taking a picture doesn't last long and the phone or camera is usually back below eye level in a moment or two.

Completely recording performances, on the other hand, has to stop. It is incredibly annoying and serves no purpose.

None.

Take a look at the following videos. Same song, same concert. The first was taken by RockScene.com. The second by some person in the audience.



Pretty professional, no? Sounded good, good view of the whole stage, and not obstructed at all.

Now watch video 2.



Not very good at all. Limited view of the stage. Can't get a view of the performance. Sound is worse. And everyone around also has their phone in the air trying to take video. The other phones are cannibalizing the video.

What is the point of everyone trying to take a video of a concert? Do we really need 500 different YouTube videos of the same song? Do these people really not trust that the performance will be recorded and uploaded by someone who can get a good shot or good location?

Perhaps the people who want a recording can volunteer one person to record the show. That person would bring an HD camera to the show, set up, and record. Then, after the show, they would upload the video to YouTube. If people want to make sure they see it, they can put their email address or phone number on a list and the uploader will ensure the person requesting gets a link.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But so is the plague of recording concerts with phones. Unfortunately, knowing our society's need to video or take photos of everything, I don't think it will ever go away.

Unless Glenn Danzig does something about it.

What do Tampa people support?

Since I've lived in Tampa, I've checked out several local entertainment scenes:

• Baseball - Major League and Minor League
• Pro Wrestling
• Stand-Up Comedy
• Hip-Hop
• Heavy Metal

There are many other scenes throughout Tampa, but these are the ones I can say I know fairly well. Either I've participated or gone to see them often. While these scenes have similar demographics, they also have something else in common.

Lack of Support

Of these, the hip-hop scene probably has the best support. Especially if a national act is involved. If a known entity is performing and local acts are opening, a venue can expect to be sold out or close to it. But without a national act headlining, many local rappers and DJs end up playing for themselves.

The lack of support for baseball has been well documented, especially at the Major League level. Sure, there is a bevy of reasons, and the Rays TV ratings are great, but too often cheers echo in stadiums throughout the Tampa Bay area. Especially in the Minor League parks.

Pro Wrestling used to be huge in Tampa. Back in the day, Tampa was a hotbed of wrestling, where legends such as Dusty Rhodes ran the state. Not only did they pack the Hester Armory near downtown Tampa, but occasionally they even sold out major football stadiums. Now the WWE moved its training to Orlando and the only pro wrestling that performs regularly is the occasional bar show in Ybor City.

The local stand-up comedy scene can be better supported as well. While the Tampa Improv and Side Splitters bring in some great national acts, local comics plying their trade appear in front of 25-50 people at best at open mic and small performances. Sure, Tampa is not on the list of "funniest cities" and I personally need to get on stage more, but when more people come out to shows, more people are motivated to perform and join the scene. That is how communities grow.

As for Heavy Metal, admittedly, I don't know as much as I would like to. I am probably guilty of lack of support. I go to shows, but only when big bands are in town, bands such as Obituary and Cannibal Corpse. I do go to the metal community's annual fundraiser for spaying and neutering stray cats and that is usually a great show packed with the best of Tampa Bay metal. But I could probably do more.

Recently, I have been reading Tampa Metal Review.com, a website that writes about the local metal scene. They do good work interviewing bands, taking pics, and reviewing shows. Last week, however, one of their writers called out the scene for not supporting local bands.

There were probably 40 people there the ENTIRE time! Do you people not realize that we are fortunate enough to see bands like this on a pretty regular basis where as in other parts of the USA even (not including the world) would pay $$$$$ to get in the door to see them?!?! We are talking 10$ and 6$ to get in the door. You can’t save up enough change through the week to come see a band line up like this one? I am a poor college student and I can even do this. And do not tell me Behemoth took all your money either. I truly believe there is a lack of support for bands. I have seen a decline over the past six years and frankly, it turns my stomach. You wonder why these bands bitch? No actually, most of them don’t because they will play for ashtrays anyway because they LOVE what they do!

Playing for ashtrays. I've never heard that before. I like it. I might have to use that one.

I've been in Tampa for eight years and I'm still not sure what the people of Tampa do support. Maybe they (we) just wait for the next big show or event. Maybe the majority of us don't want to bother with local acts and want to see only the brand names.

Tampa isn't known for much nationally. Our high school baseball teams are usually good and we have had dozens of Major Leaguers hail from here. Our metal scene is highly regarded, and some of the best in Death Metal have recorded, if not started here. But both of these scenes suffer from lack of support.

At least we support our local beer makers. We are getting good at that. Too bad our politicians might burst that bubble on us.

But that's a whole other issue.

What if The Beatles never happened?

While perusing Amazon.com to see if The Beatles' CD box set I bought in Afghanistan was in fact the bootleg version (of course it was), I found this interesting discussion:

Supposing The Beatles never happened?

Initial post: Apr 18, 2008 8:02:06 PM PDT

The year is 1963. The first major blast of authentic Rock'Roll (Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Elvis, Buddy Holly) has come and gone. Pretty boy-schlock pop dominates for a while as do the girl groups. The Phil Spector "sound" is particularly popular, Mowtown is in the midst of breaking big and, for "group" sounds, America has the surf sound of The Beach Boys, the whatever sound of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Jay and The Americans, Dion and the Belmonts and a LOT of movie soundtracks selling like crazy...and here we be, nothing much else, newer or fresher anywhere to be hinted at (something about a beat group having a local hit in England called My Bonnie but they never got that elusive record contract-broke up or something)..so where "did" the road of popular music go from here?

The whole conversation is worth checking out. Some of the best answers get downright deeply social:

Actually Debbie, your post does raise a question much more sociological and I'd argue that, in their way, the Beatles did a lot to push back the civil rights movement, a sentiment that was first posed by R&B artists like Ben E. King in the BBC's Rock n Roll documentary. There was a feeling, before the Beatles came, that things were going to change, that there was a breakthrough about to happen, and when the British invasion groups came in, those artists were pushed aside for the "prettier" white artists. You see bands like the Moody Blues topping the charts with "Go Now" instead of the original version. Maybe from a "What If?" standpoint, we might have gone in a better direction as a society. There'd be no need for "Imagine," or even later more militant songs from within the African-American community like Sly Stone's "Don't Call Me Whitey, N*****." This was actually a really great post. Don't let people tell you differently.

I think no Beatles means the American music scene would never have been overtaken by the British Invasion. Which means American music would have stayed more based out of Memphis, Detroit, and Chicago. It wouldn't have been American musicians feeding off British musicians influenced by American musicians. American music would be more directly influenced by the blues or jazz or maybe even bluegrass and not British pop. And that would mean probably more call-and-response songs than verse-chorus-verse songs.

Which means probably no Nirvana, which is heavily verse-chorus-verse. So much so, in fact, that Kurt Cobain named a song after the format.

Also, I am no Elvis expert, but I think without The Beatles, Elvis maybe never falls off. Maybe the counter-culture pushes him aside with Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, etc, but what does the counter-culture sound like without the drugged-up experimenting later years version of The Beatles?

Ipso facto, there would be no Pulp Fiction bonus scene and no theory that people could be Beatles People or Elvis People, not both.

The domino effect of a world with no Beatles would also be profound in heavy metal, as the Amazon discussion touches on. First, there would be no Black Sabbath, which means the entire spectrum of heavy metal would look different. No Black Sabbath means no Ozzy, which robs the world of one of music's most interesting personalities.

Maybe the members of The Beatles arrive on the music scene later, maybe they never get bigger than Britain. Maybe they end up in pub bands. Which would mean no "Imagine", no Wings, no popular cover version of "I Got My Mind Set On You", and no whatever it was Ringo did outside of The Beatles.

Wasn't he on The Simpsons once?

(Pic from AlbumTacos.Tumblr.com)

My latest for the Tampa Bay Times and other music links

Getting back into the groove in regards to writing regularly again. As I write more, I meet more interesting people who have great stories I can write about. It's a great cycle to be in.

My latest article is on a veteran of the Tampa hip-hop scene, an MC named Paradox. Formerly known as Spike La Rock, Paradox is attempting to unify Tampa's hip-hop under the Zulu Nation banner. He has been around hip-hop since the early days in New York City and it was great spending time with him and hearing his story and his future plans.

Tampa rapper aiming to launch Zulu Nation chapter - Tampa Bay Times, 18 July 2013

Now a few music items I didn't write:

1) Sad news: Bluesman T-Model Ford passed away this week. Although not as well known as bluesmen with more lengthy and distinguished careers, T-Model Ford was a Mississippi Delta blues performer whose sound echoed that of the Robert Johnson, Son House, and other blues legends. I saw T-Model Ford play an acoustic set in Clarksdale, Mississippi in what remains as one of the best music trips I have ever taken. He was a great performer and a great musician.

2) Disturbing news: Varg Vikernes, former leadman of the Norwegian Black Metal band Burzum, was arrested in France this week for "plotting a massacre". One, I didn't know Vikernes was a free man - he was found guilty of murdering a fellow musician, Mayhem guitarist Øystein "Euronymous" Aarseth. According to the almighty Wikipedia, he was released in 2009. Second, who let Vikernes correspond with the guy in Norway who killed 77 people and blamed it on hip hop and video games? According to reports, that correspondence led French authorities to arrest him and his wife when Mrs. Vikernes (he is married?) bought four rifles.

(Update: Vikernes and his wife were released due to lack of evidence. Makes sense, as correspondence with a homicidal extremist, writing racist blogs, and arming yourself does not actually make you a threat. But I am sure the French authorities will continue to monitor him.)

3) On the subject of anti-authority, albeit far less violent, Rebel Frequencies wrote an interesting piece on Woody Guthrie, American protest folk singer. Although best known for singing "This Land Is Our Land", Guthrie was a staunch anti-capitalist. (This was written back in October, but I just found it among my bookmarks. Still worth the read.)

4) In other Tampa Bay-based news, sports injury writer Will Carroll wrote a blog post dissecting the mechanics of singer Carly Rae Jepsen's ill attempt at a first pitch during last week's Tampa Bay Rays game. Very interesting as Carroll breaks down Jepsen's body motion and figures out exactly where she went horribly wrong.

5) Last, but not least, here is a page where you can download Tampa MC and hip-hop writer Slick Worthington's latest album. Support local music. Maybe I should write about him soon.

Clutch concert review in the Tampa Bay Times

During my second week of joyous bacchanalia back in the United States, I attended a few extracurricular activities. I attended a Tampa Bay Rays game, a comedy open mic, a comedy performance by comedian Brian Posehn, and a rock concert by heavy metal band Clutch.

This was the second time I have seen Clutch in the Tampa Bay area, both at State Theater in St Petersburg. Last time, I wrote about the concert and some other hijinks on this blog. This time, I was able to write about it on the Tampa Bay Times website.

Check it out.

Clutch unite metal fans old and new at the State Theatre in St. Petersburg - Tampa Bay Times

Thoughts on Music in Afghanistan

Lately I've been reading about music in Afghanistan. I've been looking at both sides - music listened to by traditionalists who want to hold people down and the Western-influenced music played by those who want progress in Afghanistan.

On one hand, there is the music of the Taliban, often called "taranas" or "nasheeds". These musical forms have been around for hundreds of years and remain relatively unchanged, becoming almost hymns for conservative movements.

Nasheeds are Arabic sung poems that focus on the warrior and praising him for his actions and deeds. There are a lot of nasheeds throughout the web. Many are sung without music, in a chanting type form. A Pakistan militant group called Jaish-e Mohammad has over 30 tracks on archive.org to sample, for example. Taranas are also music-less songs, but are more Persian in origin. A 2011 article on Afghanistan-Today.com states that taranas are known for "the nationalistic and religious zeal of the songs, which also draw on Pashtun folklore and stirring family images". According to the article, the Taliban have been mass producing taranas and spreading them though a cassette tape underground in a huge public relations blitz.

I wonder if these cassette tapes are filled with taranas of different artists, or just one per tape. How many songs are on a tape? Are they more like albums or mixtapes? Are there known distributors pumping out volumes of different taranas out of mosques? Are they like underground DJs back in the early days of hip-hop? How does a tarana singer get known? Is it all based on word of mouth or is there a who's who in distribution?

Meanwhile, there is another form of underground music in Afghan - hip-hop and heavy metal influenced by the Westerners who have been in Afghanistan for the last 12 years. American troops and other people from around the world have brought their Metallicas and Jay-Zs with them to Afghanistan and shared these songs with Afghans they come in contact with. And many Afghan youth, hungry for new culture and excited to learn about the world outside of Afghanistan, have grown interested in western music to the point where they have formed groups and bands and grown fan bases of people who want to hear them. Unlike the taranas or nasheeds, this music is carrying on the Western tradition of musical evolution and bringing with it creativity, a broad sense of "newness", openness, and, to use a former Soviet term, "glasnost".

Afghanistan hip-hop's central online location is the aptly named AfghanHipHop.com. On the site there is a list of Afghan MCs and DJs. I am not sure however how old the list is, or whether those listed are DJs and MCs who live in Afghanistan or those from Afghanistan plying their craft elsewhere around the world. According to a quick internet search, the most popular Afghan MC is DJ Besho. A 2006 BBC news article infers that DJ Besho lived in Germany, but did have a contact with an Afghan TV station to play his music videos.

Unfortunately, it seems as of 2006 DJ Besho looked to some bad examples of American MCs for someone at the forefront of a growing hip hop movement. BBC News quotes Besho as saying he was highly influenced by 50 Cent as well as 2Pac. 2Pac could be worse, but I hope that the influence is early conscious 2Pac, not the Thug Life later-era 2Pac. But the fact that Besho talks about how he wants girls shaking their ass in his videos is not a good sign.

I wish DJ Besho had been influenced by more socially lyrical MCs such as Common, Lupe Fiasco, Nas, or even Boots Riley. Would it be too much to ask for him to be the Public Enemy of Afghanistan? One of the Afghans I work with said to me "Mike, in Afghanistan, life is always stressful." There are things that happen here that make 1990s South Central LA look like a church picnic. Everyday I read reports of buses exploding, suicide bombers, kidnappings, murders, oppression, drugs, etc. That's perfect subject matter for hip-hop lyrics. Patriotic songs and songs about God are great, and are also seen in the US (see Toby Keith), but hip-hop has always been about communicating social situations - as Chuck D said, it is the "black CNN".

Although DJ Besho is perhaps the most popular MC from Afghanistan, the most recent report on Afghan hip-hop is perhaps the most promising. According to the Associated Press, Afghanistan now has their first female rapper, a 23-year old named Sosan Firooz. In the AP story, Firooz is being threatened for life for rapping about life and conditions of a woman in Afghanistan. As Firooz rhymes and sings about injustice and freedom, her family has to protect her from those who want to stop her. The article ends by stating that although her computer sometimes doesn't work, and she doesn't have money to make CDs, she will not stop making music.

Hip-hop is not the only emerging form of Western music being played by the youth in Afghanistan. Heavy metal is also gaining fans. According to a Reuters article written last June, heavy metal is filling the gap most hip-hop is not. Metal musicians in Afghanistan are singing about frustration and war and societal ills. While Firooz rhymes in one Kabul neighborhood, other Western-influenced musicians living in Kabul have created a "school" where young Afghans can play and learn the art of metal. Unfortunately, like Firooz and any other aspiring Afghan Western-influenced musicians, the young metalheads have to take refuge in Kabul and stay away from the more conservative, dangerous rest of the country. Many must even must lie to their families about their hobbies and hide their interests from those who call their music "satanic" or "Un-Islamic".

However, staying in Kabul has it's advantages. On October 4th, heavy metal bands played as part of Kabul's second ever music festival. Over one hundred Afghans came to see the show and rock out. For the US and Western countries, 100 people might not be much, but for Afghanistan, it could be the start of something huge. To paraphrase Gil Scott-Heron's almost overused line, while the West sees Afghanistan's constant war and military conflict on their news channels, the cultural revolution - pushed forward by those using hip-hop and heavy metal as a vehicle for expression - will not be televised.

Comparing Early Hip Hop to Early Rock'n'Roll

A while back, perhaps almost a year ago now, I had a very interesting twitter-based conversation with fellow Tampa-based blogger Clark Brooks and legendary hip-hop artist Chuck D, frontman for the great Public Enemy.

The conversation started on a response I made to Chuck D’s tweet comparing Run-DMC to The Beatles.

According to Chuck D, Run-DMC's music and performances set public excitement to levels not seen since The Beatles. Run-DMC, like The Beatles, were new, exciting, and harbingers of a new mainstream music scene. As the rock of The Beatles was derived from earlier influences such as Elvis and Chuck Berry, and later Muddy Waters, the hip-hop of Run-DMC was derived from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, the Sugar Hill Gang, and several other hip-hop trailblazing legends. Chuck D also tweeted to me about the attention and national spotlight given to these two groups and that there was a buzz surrounding both of them. He said Run-DMC was no doubt The Beatles of their day.

Although I didn’t really have a leg to stand on in regards to the first-hand knowledge Chuck D of Run-DMC, I told Chuck and Clark that I would lean more towards comparing The Beatles to well-known historical hip-hop act NWA, although instead of cultural excitement, I would base my comparison on musical influence and impact.

Looking at NWA and The Beatles, I like to think of Ice Cube as John Lennon. Although some might initially think Easy-E, as it was Easy who put the group together and both Easy and Lennon died at an early age, I think Ice Cube is the better comparison. Cube was the songwriter for most NWA’s earlier albums just as Lennon was one of the main song writers for The Beatles. Like Lennon, upon going solo, Ice Cube got much more political, although instead of “giving peace a chance”, Cube became one of Amerikkka’s Most Wanted.

With Ice Cube filling the Lennon role, I think it makes sense to compare Dr. Dre to Paul McCartney. Both achieved extraordinary success outside of their original groups, with McCartney in Wings and Dre in his solo ventures and with Snoop Dogg and Eminem.

Of the remaining Beatles and NWA members, I would compare Ringo Starr to MC Ren and then finally George Harrison to Easy-E. Although each of the four here had respectable careers, none could quite capture the acclaim they had when they were part of a group.

During my twitter conversation with Clark Brooks and Chuck D, I asked Chuck what classic rock group he would compare to NWA. His answer surprised me at first, but I think is definitely worth exploration. He said he would compare NWA to The Yardbirds, which I think is another great comparison, although my personal opinion is that it falls a little short.

For those who might not remember, The Yardbirds were an early to mid 1960s rock group that featured, at one point or another, three of the greatest guitar players of all time: Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, and Jeff Beck. They also at one point contained another future Led Zeppelin member in bassist John Paul Jones. Right away, we can associate MC Ren and DJ Yella of NWA with Keith Relf, Chris Dreja, and Jim McCarty of The Yardbirds – members who although they recorded outside of their most well known act, failed to make any more mainstream waves.

So that leaves Clapton, Page, and Beck and Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and Easy-E. I think that’s the perfect order as well.

Ice Cube as Eric Clapton: Clapton left The Yardbirds in 1965 because he claimed they were losing their blues roots. Ice Cube left NWA because he claimed they weren’t paying him enough. Clapton went on to join the John Mayall Band, Cream, and Derek and the Dominoes before going solo. Ice Cube went solo, but worked with the production team from Public Enemy before putting together Da Lynch Mob and being part of the Westside Connection with Mack-10 and WC. Both Cube and Clapton were able to toe two lines in their respective genres: Cube went from black militant rap to West Coast gangsta rap and back while Clapton meandered from blues to rock and back to blues. Probably the biggest difference here is that Clapton hasn’t ventured into movies and other media as Ice Cube has, but that might be a sign of the times.

Dr. Dre as Jimmy Page: Whereas Page took the Yardbirds into a different direction by bringing aboard Robert Plant and John Bohnam and calling the group “Led Zeppelin”, Dre left NWA but like Page, started a whole other “band” in Death Row Records. Both Dr. Dre and Jimmy Page both took the torch lit by their first groups and ran further with it thanks to their new colleagues than any of their former counterparts. Page and Dr. Dre found relative unknowns in Page and Snoop Dogg, respectively, and turned them into mega-stars. Both have also been astute on the business side of their music as well, as it was Page who re-released a lot of the Led Zeppelin live concerts over the years, repackaging and remastering using the most modern technology and of course Dr. Dre has used the power of promotions from commercials to using holograms to get his music heard and seen.

Easy-E as Jeff Beck: Of the three MCs in NWA to make it as solo artists, Easy-E attained far less acclaim then his two ex-mates. The same could be said for Jeff Beck, although Beck is still with us, unlike Easy-E. Even in death, however, Easy-E is overshadowed by other deceased hip-hop legends. Although Ice Cube and Dr. Dre left NWA and Jeff Beck was fired from the Yardbirds, both artists held long-term grudges against their former group members, with Beck saying “fuck them” at the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame and Easy-E recording Dr. Dre diss songs on his 187um album. While Beck has had the chance to play with former Yardbirds Clapton and Page on numerous occasions, Easy-E was never able to perform on stage with Ice Cube and Dr. Dre, although he did meet with them on his deathbed.

(Here is the weakness in Chuck D's argument. Easy-E and Jeff Beck are not a good comparison. Jeff Beck is a Rock'N'Roll Hall of Famer and no one will ever mistake Easy-E for a great rapper. Easy-E did however discover the multi-platinum Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony. While Easy-E stayed primarily solo in his post-NWA career, Jeff Beck was in close to a dozen more groups after leaving The Yardbirds.)

While I can definitely see Chuck D’s point that NWA does have some similarities with The Yardbirds, I still think the West Coast rap legends make a more apt comparison to The Beatles.

Along the same lines, there are other hip-hop to classic rock comparisons I think are fitting:

Rakim to Jimi Hendrix: This is the old high school analogy. What Jimi is to guitar, Rakim is to hip-hop lyrics. There were guitarists before Jimi, but none blew the ears off listeners like Hendrix, none experimented with as many sounds and effects as Hendrix, and few put on a show and had a sense of timing like Hendrix. For early hip-hop fans, Rakim is the same on the lyrical tip, with a sense of timing, dexterity, and flow that few had heard before. Rakim also brought a depth and intellect to rhyming and lyricism that was unheard of in the days of party hip-hop. Today, both Hendrix and Rakim are still considered among, if not the best to ever do what they did.

Lil Wayne to Motley Crue: I like to think of Southern Rap as the Hair Metal of hip-hop. It’s flashy, cheesy, and utterly materialistic, lacking the depth and relevance of its predecessors. Since the Cash Money Clique first broke through in the late 1990s, southern hip-hop has been one of the most formulaic genres in music. For a while in the 1980s, hair metal was the same to rock’n’roll. Hair metal had the makeup, the hair spray, the spandex, and the power ballad. No band was bigger nor more hair metal than Motley Crue. Southern rap had the pimp cup, the souped-up Cadillac, the crunk juice, and the song about being in the club. And no one has epitomized Southern rap more than Lil Wayne.

Tupac Shakur to Jim Morrison: This one is almost too easy. Both Morrison and Tupac Shakur died before their time, both were poets as well as lyricists, and both had tragic wild sides. Both Tupac and Jim Morrison were misunderstood stereotypes miscast in their particular time. While Jim Morrison was on the surface a poster child for the wild bacchanalia of the 1960s, he was in spirit a well-read intellectual who studied Greek mythology and was deep into Native American culture as evident by his poetry. Tupac was also miscast into the role of thug during an era when mainstream hip-hop drifted towards West Coast gangstra rap. As many would attest, and how he himself would say, he was an artist and also well-read in the classic literature of William Shakespeare. Unfortunately for both, it was the temptations of their hedonistic ways that would lead to their early demise.

Here are a few others that I think make worthy comparisons:

Jay-Z and Bruce Springsteen

LL Cool J and Aerosmith

Wu-Tang Clan and Black Sabbath

Bob Dylan and Nas

Finally, what about Run-DMC, the hip-hop group Chuck D first discussed?

With their genre-crossing, groundbreaking, and trailblazing ways, Run-DMC, the self-proclaimed “Kings of Rock” are most like “The King” himself, Elvis Presley. Elvis took the blues and country and mashed it up with a little rock and took over the world. Run-DMC took rock and the new thing called hip-hop, mashed it up, and took the country by storm.

Rock and hip-hop are the premier music genres in America now and probably will be for generations to come. As such, there are a lot of comparisons that can be made between the artists of each, just as we can look at blues singers and jazz players and punk rock singers and metal screamers. In all types of music, there will be members of an explosive initial burst, personnel who are part of the scene when the music is either commercially accepted or rejected, and those who hold on when the music fizzles out of the public eye.  So far in America, rock’n’roll and rock singers have had the longest lifespan. Although hip-hop and its MCs and DJs might never catch rock, it won’t be long until it surpasses the longevity of jazz and the blues and its artists find a secure place in the great American song book.

Buckethead at State Theater in St Petersburg, Florida 9/22/2011

I've been a big Buckethead fan for over 10 years. After being introduced to Buckethead by my friend Shelbs who was and probably still is a huge Primus fan, I bought Buckethead's Colma album.

After Colma, I picked up Buckethead's Monsters and Robots, then I dipped into the guitar great's back catalog and have been following along since.

I discovered Buckethead was not only a guitar virtuoso, but also one of the most creative musicians out there.

As the years past, Buckethead crept up my list of guitar greats I had yet to see.

I've seen Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, Zakk Wylde, Dimedag Darrell, Alexi Lahio, and Magic Red, but never saw Buckethead.

Finally, on September 22, 2011 at State Theater in St. Petersburg, Florida, I had the chance to finally see the bucketed one live. And outside of two minor complaints, he didn't disappoint.

Seeing Buckethead is visual experience as well as a musical treat. After his stage was prepared by a dreded tech in a hospital mask, Buckethead took the stage with his trademark KFC bucket on his head and dressed in black. Immediately he started his guitar wizardry with his fingers flying up and down the fret board. I'll admit, I am not good at memorizing the titles of instrumental songs, but I recognized a few songs from his classics Monsters and Robots and Giant Robot.

Buckethead is also part Carrot Top in his show. The dreded tech placed several toys on Buckethead's amp and speakers for the guitarist to play with during the show. These included a hand-held distorting mirror (like those in an amusement park House of Mirrors), a toy chainsaw, and of course Buckethead's nunchucks.

Seeing Buckethead whip his nunchucks to and fro was a treat I looked forward to. As was seeing Bucket put down the guitar and dance like a robot on stage. These are things Buckethead is known for. Of  course all the while he kept his bucket and Michael Myers mask in place.

Halfway through the performance the theme song from the movie Space Jam played and Buckethead walked to the front of the stage with a big blue bag. He reached in the bag and started handing out toys to the fans. Buckethead gave out Halloween masks, Star Wars toys, action figures, and other assorted goodies.

I guess that shouldn't be that unusual considering Buckethead has a song called "Buckethead's Toy Store", he runs his own "abusement" park, and he is the friend of children everywhere.

I was surprised however when the toy giveaway turned into a toy exchange and fans gave Buckethead gifts as well. If Buckethead saw something he liked, he simply traded toys with the fan.

Speaking of Star Wars, Buckethead is a huge Star Wars fan. As of course, I am. Needless to say, when he played the Star Wars theme song and the Imperial March, I got goosebumps. For real.

One of the strangest things about a Buckethead concert is seeing an artist that looks completely emotionless. That's his schtick and being a big fan, I get it. But to not see an artist smile, laugh, or talk on stage is an interesting phenomenon. The emotion of the show comes strictly from his music or the crowd.

This lack of emotion is part of one of my complaints. The show was only and hour and 45 minutes long. That's it. Granted, I'm not sure even I could have withstood three hours of guitar shredding, but not even two hours? It went by quick. And when he was done, Buckethead simply walked off stage. No bow, no cheering the fans, no thank yous. He just walked off as if his programing was finished and he had something else to do.

My other small gripe: Buckethead's t-shirt selection was awfully small. There was only one t-shirt for sale. And not only did it not have the tour dates on it, but it was an ugly white design.

Oh well, I guess that's another reason for me to visit Buckethead's Toy Store. I hope they have a clothing department.

Here is a video a fan took of Buckethead's performance Thursday night.

It might seem hypocritical for me to post this video and then complain, but I'll have an opinion piece soon on the absolute annoying trend of people who hold their phones up to video record entire concerts. You can enjoy the music without being a cinematographer. Trust me, it's possible.

Additions to the Essential American Songlist

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting editorial by Ernest Hooper of the St. Pete Times. In this editorial, Hooper tries to create a playlist of essential American songs, songs that, in his words, "reflect life in our nation".

After having over 3 CDs worth of ideas, Hooper narrows his selections down to 30. There's some Elvis, some Skynyrd, some Michael Jackson, and many others.

But in my opinion, however, his list leaves a bit to be desired. It's not bad, but I think it could be better.

Here are a few changes I would make:

1) First of all, Hooper has zero blues songs on his list. That is unacceptable. He has a lot of soul and Motown, but nothing directly influenced by the Mississippi Delta. Since Hooper starts his list in the mid-1950s, that eliminates a lot of the classics, from Robert Johnson to BB King's The Thrill is Gone (1951). But since there is also no Jimi Hendrix (perhaps Hooper considered him a "British act"), I would include Red House. If possible, I might also add a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune.

To make way for Jimi, let's remove Saturday in the Park by Chicago.

2) Hooper's hip-hop selections are off. He lists The Message by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, which is great, but then he lists Dear Mama by 2Pac and Lose Yourself by Eminem. I would delete both of those and replace them with Fight For Your Right by the Beastie Boys and Nuthin' but a G Thang by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg.

The reasoning there is that Nuthin But a G Thang is perhaps the best West Coast rap song and it talks about the scene, where as 2Pac only talks about his family relationships. The Beastie Boys need to be on there as they were one of the biggest links between rock and rap and it was they, moreso than Run DMC, who made hip-hop acceptable to white audiences, without of which it would not be what it is today. And Fight For Your Right is a great party tune.

There is also a huge need for Public Enemy on this list, especially since he lists Marvin Gaye's What's Goin On and Sam Cooke's A Change is Gonna Come. I would add Fight the Power. Let's remove Don't Stop Believing by Journey.

3) Hooper also misses out on heavy metal. Nirvana is as heavy as he gets and Bon Jovi is the only hair band on the list. Keeping Bon Jovi as the 80s hair representative and Nirvana as the model grunge band, I would add a Metallica tune, since they typify American Metal probably more than any other band. As for which Metallica tune, I would go with Master of Puppets. Not only is it one of Metallica's best, but it also addresses the social issue of drugs, which doesn't get talked about much in Hooper's list.

To make room for Metallica, I'd take out I Want You Back by The Jackson 5. Hooper already has Michael Jackson on the list, so there is no need for Tito and the rest of the gang.

4) There is a definite lack of punk rock on Hooper's list. I'm no punk expert, so I'll leave that to others who might be, but at least a song or two from that genre needs to be on the list.

So I added five songs, with a chance to add more with punk input. That means I kept 25, which I definitely have to give Hooper credit for. His list might not be perfect, but it is a great start.

Clutch, Tow Trucks, and T-Shirts in St. Petersburg

There are certain rules I abide by on the day of a concert. These are simple rules, acquired through years of seeing almost every genre of music from blues to hip-hop to death metal.

Rule one: Don’t listen to anything by the band within 24 hours of the show. If you don’t know the songs by the day before, you won’t know them. Concerts aren’t college, there is no cramming. And you don’t want your ear influenced at all by the studio recordings. Enjoy the show for what it is.

Rule two: To quote the Wu-Tang Clan, cash rules everything around me. Merch vendors, bars, and some ticket stands don’t take Visa, Mastercard, or American Express, so “if you don’t have dollars, it don’t make sense”. Hit the ATM before you get to a show. It allows flexibility and convenience.

Rule three: Dress the part. Never wear a t-shirt of a band you are going to see. Wear a similar band, or someone of the same genre. But always dress to fit the scene. Don’t wear a Parliament-Funkadelic shirt to see Slayer.

There are two exceptions to rule three. The first is that you can wear a shirt from a festival featuring the band you are seeing. That’s simple enough as it shows community and that you have seen other bands. The second exception is the seldom used “memorable slogan clause”. If your t-shirt has an overly funny, clever, or all-round bad-ass slogan, you are accepted into the community of the performance.

In my time going to concerts, there have been two memorable slogan t-shirts that stand out among the masses. Both are engrained in my cerebellum not only because of their cleverness, but because of the stories associated with them. The first, a black t-shirt that proclaimed “Fuck You, You Fuckin’ Fuck”, was worn by a man named Manimal who I wrote about nearly three years ago. For those who missed it, Manimal was a bad-ass biker dude who forbid moshing in his general area during a 1999 Metallica concert.

The second most memorable slogan tee that stands out for me is a black shirt with the devil’s face and the words “God’s Busy, May I Help You?”. This shirt brings back memories of a concert adventure I had on my 23^rd birthday when my college roommate Zheke Snow and I traveled from Tallahassee to Orlando to see rock bands Isle of Q,  UPO, Full Devil Jacket, and Nickelback (after their first album, and before they jumped the music shark).  It was a night of obnoxious cops, tire problems, good rock ‘n’ roll, and driving around the Disney World Complex with the bassist of UPO as he yelled at his drunk bandmates who left him and didn’t tell him where the hotel was located.

It’s a classic story perhaps I’ll tell in full here one day.

Even though I have been to dozens, if not hundreds, of concerts since, I hadn’t seen either of those slogan t-shirts. Until a few Tuesday's ago, when the devil’s question made another appearance.

And of course, I had another interesting night.

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The flyer stared at me from beside the keyboard at my work desk, a simple reminder that time was moving far too slow. Every minute dragged on with the full power of 60 seconds of might, as I fidgeted like a child who refused to dream of sugarplums and candy canes on Christmas Eve. Finally at 6:30 I flew out of the office like Meatloaf’s bat out of hell, sped down I-75 at 90mph, daring the Florida Highway Patrol to stop me, and cruised into St. Petersburg.

On the docket that night was one of my favorite bands, Maryland-based groove-metal band Clutch. I’d seen Clutch five times prior to last Tuesday, the latest time being with Black Label Society in October. Opening for Clutch was GroundScore from Washington DC and the Florida/Alabama-based Maylene and the Sons of Disaster. I was totally in the dark about Groundscore, but I had heard a few good things about Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, and I was also looking forward to seeing them.

Into St. Pete I drove, finding a spot in a parking lot a few blocks from the club. Needing money for a ticket, beer, and a new t-shirt, I walked over to a local ATM and pulled out some cash. On my way to the club from the ATM, I found two 2011 pennies with the new backing. One was heads up and the other was tails up. Although I usually think money is money and finding two cents gets me that much closer to retirement, I was struck momentarily by the symmetry of the yin and the yang.

After I bought my ticket, I walked into St. Pete’s State Theater, ready to finally get my rock on. One of the best things about a Clutch show it that it is usually attended by veteran rock fans. Fans who proudly sport their shirts of quality metal bands, such as Slayer, Danzig, or Judas Priest. Shortly after entering, I received a compliment on my shirt, the tour shirt from the aforementioned BLS/Clutch gig from a few months back.

Even though my shirt was highly regarded, I quickly hit the merch stand for a new Clutch shirt. To my amusement, the merch vendor was wearing another shirt I hold near and dear to my heart: an “Arm The Homeless” tee from a punk band called Tree who toured with Clutch in 2003. That was one of the few times I didn’t buy a shirt from my favorite band and opted for the opening act. I couldn’t resist walking around with a picture of an AK-wielding old lady on my back.

Now dressed to impress with a brew in hand, I walked into the theater and closer to the stage to check out Groundscore. They weren’t bad, a mix of 311 and Sublime, with elements of punk and metal blended in. They were definitely Warped Tour material or the soundtrack to a new skateboarding video game.

(Speaking of interesting t-shirts, the drummer for Groundscore had A Tribe Called Quest shirt on. I wonder how many metal fans caught that?)

During the Groundscore show, I perused the crowd, checking out the environment and doing a little people watching. No matter the type of music show, people watching at a concert is always fun, especially if the band isn’t entirely up my alley.

But that’s when I saw it: “God’s Busy, May I Help You?".  I’m surprised the guy wearing it didn’t ask me what I was looking at I paused for a moment when my eyes hit his shirt. It was if Satan himself was telling me the night was going to be interesting. A warning from Lucifer for me to heed.

Second on stage was Maylene and the Sons of Disaster. Like I said, I heard good things from a few friends about this relatively new band. But because friends can sometimes have music tastes that don’t always jive with mine, I turned to my brother for his valued musical scouting report. That morning, his review came in: “Heavy southern rock/blues sounding”. Nice. My kind of music. I was excited.

Maylene didn’t disappoint. Although I couldn’t understand their lyrics on occasion, I was impressed with their sound. Throughout their set, I pulled out my phone and tweeted comparisons to Corrosion of Conformity, White Zombie, and Black Stone Cherry, all bands I hold in high regard. I closed my tweeted review with the simple phrase, “I like”. I’m going to have to buy some Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.

After the usual downtime between bands, the mighty Clutch came on stage. As to be expected (for me, at least) Clutch was absolutely spectacular. They played many of their most popular songs, from Big News I & II, The Regulator, Electric Worry, and the trace-like Spacegrass. As compared to the last time I saw them in October, Clutch didn’t have to worry about set limits, so they threw in a few jams between songs.

(Here is a youtube video of Clutch playing Escape From the Prison Planet and here is the concert review from the Tampa Bay Times.)

Being a long time fan, seeing Clutch brings out a sense of community for me. Other Clutch fans and I compare times and places we’ve seen Clutch, admire each others’ concert shirts, and no matter what song, we sing along, even if Neil Fallon’s lyrics are sometimes far too complex to understand (Songs about anthrax, redcoats, and elephants?).

Following an extensive set, Clutch ended their show with a mellow encore. And with that, the show was over. But little did I know the rest of my night was just beginning.

Across the street from St. Pete’s State Theater is a row of hole-in-the-wall bars and pubs. As I discovered after a recent House of Pain show, one bar, Fubar, usually has a band on the stage late and capitalizes on the crowd from State Theater to relax and buy some cheap beer.  After House of Pain, Fubar featured a local death metal band, so I was curious to see what they had on stage after Clutch.

On stage at Fubar was a DJ playing dubstep. I’m not normally an electronic music fan, but last year the Wu-Tang Clan put out an album with dubstep DJs and I was curious, so I grabbed a beer, unwound for a bit, and enjoyed a few tunes.

After my beer was finished, I made my way out Fubar. Shortly thereafter, I noticed something was missing.

My truck wasn’t where I parked it.

To my surprise, I parked in a lot guarded by a local towing agency. In a panic, I called the number on the sign and inquired as to whether they had my precious pick-up. After they confirmed it was in their possession, I frantically called my friend Keri, who I briefly saw at the show. Fortunately, even although she was well on her way back home, she turned around to bring me to the wrecker lot so I could get my truck. Thank goodness for friends, or I would have been sleeping with the homeless on the streets of St. Pete.

Did I mention I hate late-night towing companies? I think they are spawns of Satan, brought to Earth only to make life difficult for people. No one is going to use the bank at midnight, so why can’t I park there to go to the bar? I promise I’ll move my truck before the bank opens in the morning.

Anyway, 121 dollars later, my truck was back in my possession and my night was finally over. I should have heeded the t-shirt symbology and been more careful in the presence of the smiling devil t-shirt.

Sevendust in Tallahassee in 2003

Here is a preview article I wrote for the FSView and Florida Flambeau about a Sevendust show in Tallahassee in 2003.

On Wednesday, September 10th, Tallahassee will again play host to the hard rock/ heavy metal band Sevendust. The Atlanta band, which last played Tallahassee in April 2000, will be performing at the Late Night Library in a show aptly titled “An Evening with Sevendust.”

Known for their extensive touring, the Late Night Library show is among the many on Sevendust’s second 2003 tour. This tour, which featured opening acts Element Eighty and Tallahassee’s own Presence on earlier dates, started in August and is set to conclude on September 25 in Pittsburgh, Pa.

Besides continuing to bring their music to their fans, Sevendust is using the tour to promote their new album “Seasons,” due to be released on October 7. The first single from Seasons, “Enemy,” has been receiving considerable airplay on rock radio stations throughout the country.

This year’s tours have revealed a new side of Sevendust, as approximately half the shows have been performed acoustically, according to www.livedaily.com. The band, which has opened for heavy metal legends Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica, has opted to try a more mellow “unplugged” sound in 2003.

“Doing acoustic sets was always tough for us,” drummer Morgan Rose said in a VH1.com interview. “But then we started screwing around with some of the songs and changing the beats a bit and reinventing things and that turned out really cool. We were invited to do [an acoustic] set in Orlando, and we did it, and the vibe was great. It was so weird. Here's a band that usually tries to destroy everything in sight for 90 minutes, and we're just sitting up there on stools for an hour and playing.”

These acoustic shows do not feature an opening act, according to www.livedaily.com, instead fans will be able to hear the new album, Seasons, in its entirety prior to the performance.

This new calmer facet of Sevendust is a departure from the usual hard rock/ heavy metal repertoire their fans have grown to expect. With the commercial success of Sevendust’s first acoustic song, “Angel’s Son,” a tribute to former Snot lead singer Lynn Strait, the band has continued to experiment with the unplugged sound, putting more acoustic sounds on their latest album, “Animosity” (2002), than any of their previous releases.

Despite “mellowing out” on several songs, the band has continued to be one of the most well-known and respected modern hard rock bands and continues to perform with bands such as Godsmack and Puddle of Mudd.

Originally called Rumblefish and then Crawlspace, Sevendust has been known has one of the best and most frequent performing bands in the genre since their first tours in 1996. Even then, before crowds totaling fewer than 100, lead singer Lajon Witherspoon developed a habit of speaking personally with the crowd and has often insisted fans in front of the stage form as big a mosh pit as allowed. Their dedication to the road and constant crowd involvement helped the band’s first album, the self-titled “Sevendust,” sell more than 500,000 copies (Certified Gold) and their second album, “Home” (1999), to debut at 19 on the Top 200 chart, according to a promotional card distributed by the band in 1999. Animosity was also awarded Gold status by the Recording Industry Association of America.

After concluding the acoustic dates on their current tour, Sevendust is planning to continue their trek around the nation with Staind and LoPro, according to www.sevendust.com.

“An Evening with Sevendust” at the Late Night Library is an all-ages show. Tickets are $15 each and are available at CD Warehouse locations throughout Tallahassee. Doors open at 8 p.m. For more on the show, contact the Late Night Library at 224-2429.

Sevendust and the HardDrive Live Tour Tampa, 11/9/2010

Continuing my concert ways yet again. This time with a show combining the locality of the Duck Down Records show of a month ago with the rock of the Berzerkus Tour show of two weeks ago.

Back when I was in college, I was really up on my rock radio bands and songs. Unfortunately, I'm not up on it much anymore. So although I was at Ritz Ybor primarily to see Sevendust, I thought it was a good idea to check out some of the other bands in the HardDrive Live Tour. Overall, I was impressed.

Aranda - I was expecting the first band to be a new group that would do little more than warm the crowd up. I was wrong. Aranda came to play. They had a classic rock vibe, which really didn't go with the rest of the show, but was very catchy. Although I wasn't really into them at first, they covered Led Zeppelin's Dazed and Confused, which is one of my favorite Zeppelin songs. And they did it well. After Dazed and Confused, the focus of the band shifted to the guitar player, who started pulling out solos and performance tricks, such as taking his shoe off and using it as a slide. Absolutely impressive. I might have to check out their albums.

Overall grade: B+

(Here is a video of Aranda covering Zeppelin in Chicago.)

Since October - Out of the five bands, Since October was the most disappointing. They looked incredibly generic, with a dred-locked lead singer and a bald drummer. I thought that fad in band composition went out of style in the mid-2000s. Then after about three songs that sounded like Korn outtakes, the lead guitarist's rig went out. Ok, that can happen. But then the band left the stage for over five minutes. Totally inexcusable. Does their drummer or bassist not know how to solo? Play some bass riffs to keep the crowd's attention. Something. Anything.

Overall grade: D

Anew Revolution - These guys impressed me as well. They were loud and had great stage presence. Their songs were typical modern heavy rock - nothing out of the ordinary - but they were good. I'd even heard a few of their songs on satellite radio. During their performance, the lead singer did something I've only seen one other time. He stood on the shoulders of the crowd and sang a verse. The only other person I have ever seen do that is Method Man of the Wu-Tang Clan.

Overall Grade: B

10 Years - According to their Wiki page and website, 10 Years have been around for a while. Until Tuesday night, I had never heard of them. I did recognize a few of their songs however. Sound-wise, they sounded a little like the Deftones, a little like Finger Eleven, and a bit like Staind in their lyrical tone.

Overall Grade: B

(I think that's why as I get older I've gotten more and more bummed out on "new rock". Everything I hear, it seems like I've heard before. I'm hard pressed to find many differences between songs made in 2010 and songs written in 2000. Outside of rap-rock and small pockets of classic-rock influenced bands, most of this decade's rock sounds mostly the same to me. I don't know whether to blame this on my music ear or a growing corporate influence towards conformity. Maybe a little of both.)

Sevendust - This was my seventh time seeing Sevendust. I've been a fan of theirs since I saw them tour in support of their first album back in 1996 or 1997. I swear it was 1996, but they didn't put out their first album, which I bought the day before the show, until '97.

Anyway, they were my first concert. I saw them again in 1999 at the Orange Bowl, 2000 at Floyds in Tallahassee, 2001 in Orlando, 2004 twice at Late Night Library in Tallahassee (once acoustic), and now 2010. And they are still kicking ass.

During the show Sevendust's set list was comprised of a few songs off the new record, Cold Day Memory, a few songs off their second, Home, their third, Animosity, and even the song "Black" off their self-titled debut album. And of course, they played "Angel's Son" from the Strait Up album. I was really impressed with how extensive their show has become.

Sevendust also brought out the best in the crowd as well. Although I stood in the back of the venue for the first few bands, I went closer to the stage for Sevendust. There were people jumping, yelling, flailing, and quite a few folks throwing down in a decent sized mosh pit.

Sevendust definitely gets an A.