Things were never sweet in Tarpon Springs

 

A few weeks ago, I was mindlessly swiping through tiktok when I saw a video by a young creator detailing how difficult life is in Tarpon Springs, FL. But the video was seeped in irony as he was by the beautiful sponge docks in the small historic fishing town. The video was absolutely hilarious and had hundreds and thousands of views.

Being that I have an upcoming book festival appearance in Tarpon Springs (Saturday 4/25, 10am to 4pm), I wanted to know what was up. What was this video referencing? It took me a few additional minutes to find that famous video gamer Jynxzi had recently gone on a rant about growing up in Tarpon Springs. When Jynxzi tried to bring up pictures of his tough side of town, all he found was images of the tourist areas. Whether or not he set himself up is unknown, but he rolled with it well. It is definitely a huge self-own.

After a few tiktokers posted the clip, others ran with the audio and the theme to hilarious results. The videos got so big that Tarpon Springs now has its own mention on KnowYourMeme. That’s how you know you’ve made it.

Being the entrepreneuring and resourceful creator that I am, and never one to pass an easy opportunity, I used Jynxzi’s new trend to promote my upcoming appearance at the Tarpon Springs Book Festival. I drove up to Tarpon Springs and made my own tough video where I sat on a curb and talked about slanging products on the streets - the products of course being my books.

This tiktok and another I made about the trend are my most popular tiktoks, far eclipsing any of my previous videos. I’m by far the oldest person making videos about Tarpon being tough, but no one seems to care. I was a little worried about jumping on a trend done mostly by ironic kids, but the likes and positive comments say otherwise. One commentor actually said “that is how you advertise!”. I won’t do anymore, but showing that I get it, running with it, and adding something new to the discourse allowed me to fit in.

You gotta be a real sponge, because ain’t nothing sweet in Tarpon Springs.

 

 

 

Not so serious movie reviews - Zombies, Kung-fu, and a Giant Poop Monster

 

Wrapping up my latest cinematic adventures. If you want to read all my movie reviews, check out my profile on letterboxd.

Redneck Zombies (1987)

One of my favorite movies ever. I saw it 30 years ago and it stayed with me like herpes. The need to watch it again flared up and I embraced it with all its glory. It’s gross, it’s bloody, it’s cheap, it’s fun. Everything video herpes should be.

Grade: 5 moonshine still stars out of 5. They don’t get much better than this.

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Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014)

I’ve seen Strippers vs Zombies, Zombies vs Strippers, Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies, Kung Fu vs Zombies, and Ninjas vs Zombies. All better than this.

If WWF legend Rowdy Roddy Piper is carrying your movie, that’s not saying much. I like Roddy Piper. But he should be a fun side character. Not your main event.

So many plot holes, missed spots, botches, and stiff acting. I like low budget movies. I like Troma Films. I like zombie flicks. I like wrestling. I loved The Unbreakable Bunch. This was not good.

Grade: 2 botched zombie slams out of 5

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Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)

You don’t watch kung fu for the plot. You watch for the fight scenes. And this is one of the best. Also the basis of a lot of video game characters from Mortal Kombat to Street Fighter. Definitely a movie to lose your head for.

Grade: 5 flying stars out of 5

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Monsturd (2003)

From the bowels of Geoffery Chaucer’s The Miller’s Tale and Shakepeare’s bawdy toilet humor comes 2003’s epic horror comedy Monsturd. It’s lewd, it’s crude, it’s sophomoric and amateur. But therein lies the beauty of Monsturd.

A prisoner escapes, gets mixed with toxic waste, and becomes a killer shitmonster. This is the kind of story we will be telling for generations to come. It is relatable on every level because everyone poops.

500 years from now our great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren will appreciate Monsturd, just as today we appreciate Chaucer’s lewd humor of the 16th century.

Grade: 4 peanut poops out of 5

CHAOS IN THE CORNER - NEW NOVEL COVER REVEAL

 

Here it is! As we get closer to release of my new novel, Chaos in the Corner, I wanted to drop the cover art.

I am really excited about this cover. The art is done by Dell Barras, artist for Marvel, DC, and other comic companies. Color was done by BrokenOptics, definitely check him out. He has done art for a lot of pro wrestlers and entertainers. I recommend both of these guys. Working with them was great.

They gave a very unique look to my novel. I think the comic book vibe will attract more wrestling fans who might be regular book readers or book store visitors.

I also made a promo video for the cover. Check it out.