The Return of a Knicks Nation refugee

 Pardon my lateness, but for the last four days I was far from communications, wandering deep in the mountains ofthe land of coal and steel. Only today did I hear the joyous news.

All praise due to St. Patrick, St. Walt, and St. Willis!

We have been liberated!

In the words of the Great Joey, we have been delivered!

And now it is time for me to say goodbye to a life of loneliness. To share bittersweet farewells with those other disenfranchised fans I have befriended since my vagabond days began.

Yet I cannot disguise my joy. Finally I can go home.

Three long years have passed since I started my boycott. And now it's over. The Reign of Terror has passed.

My only fear is that from his token post the tyrant Thomas does not have the power to purge those who opposed his rule.

I go home tentively, but with the confidence that I can now have optimism. I can care. I can sing, I can dance, and I can praise without the heartcrushing depression that has seized my homeland for years.

So now it is our turn to rebuild. To make our nation once again the crown jewel of the NBA. For us to rise up and cheer louder than we ever have.

For the era of darkness is over.

Praise be to St. Patrick, St. Willis, and St. Walt!

See some of my past correspondences here:

April 10th, 2008.

January 8, 2008.

December 4th, 2008.

December 2, 2008.

The Latest Dispatch from a Knicks Nation Refugee

 

Fool-la-la-la

This is the song that we sing when someone says Isiah will be forgiven someday.

Fool-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Much has transpired since I last corresponded. I've been out west in some desert land. I've been north of Alaska. You know nothing of this if they ask ya.

Over 1,000 days have past since I last set foot in Knicks Nation. For nearly three years, I have neither watch a game, nor rooted, nor cheered, nor concerned myself with the well-being of my favorite basketball team. Unfortunately however, what I have seen is many of my dear friends and Knicks Nation family be emotionally tormented and destroyed by the evil manical reign of Isiah Thomas.

As I mentioned once before, along my travels I have encountered other teamless fans who consider themselves refugees from their nations. One such fan, a former native of Clipper Nation, has become somewhat a partner of mine. Together we have raided the camps of many new refugees from Heat Nation. I'll admit, old grudges die hard. And you should see my new Jimmy Buffett CD collection.

Alas, there is word my days without a home may soon come to an end. I may no longer have to walk that lonely highway east of Omaha. According to reports, the Knicks have hired a new President. Unfortunately, the Honorable Mr. Walsh has not yet decided whether or not to remove the evil tyrant Thomas from his throne.

Please Mr. Walsh. For all that is holy on St. Walt, St. Willis, and the newly annointed St. Patrick, please fire Isiah Thomas so I can come home.

To quote the immortal patriot Sgt. Slaughter, I want my country back.

Today YaySports!, Tomorrow the World

This post originally appeared on YaySports!.

(This post was not written by The Caviar. As a matter of fact, no posts will be written by The World Famous Mr. The Caviar until further notice.)

Good evening. Readers, do not attempt to adjust your browser. There is nothing wrong. We have taken control has to bring actual posts. We will return it to the Cav as soon as there is a movie.

Welcome to YaySports!, better known as The Blog the Cav Left, or better still, The Jordi and Cobra and Delta Ep Show. Home of extra-exceptional bloggers, dealers of funky blogging. NBA blogging. Uncut blogging. The bomb.

Coming to you directly from the Mothervessel, top of a caramel Mars bar, 1.21 gigawatts of pure blog power. So kick back, dig, while we write words that mess with your optics.

Me? I’m known as Jordi Scrubbings, alias “The Baldhead Longjumper”, alias “The Tampa Teh-Lma“, alias “Jordi Scrubbings”. My motto is …

Well, I don’t have a motto. But if I did, it would be something cool. Like “Succotash Me, Baby!” or “Flapjacks on Mount Zion!”. Anyway, if the readers of this blog were Texas, me, Cobra, and Jeremiah the Mexican Vagabond would just happen to be America circa 18-whenever - annexing and flexing our juice cards when needed.

This is way it has to be.

Soon you will understand.

Further transmissions will follow.

Punxsutawny Shaq

"When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter."
- Bill Murray, Groundhog Day (1993)

Throughout most of the world, February 2nd is a day of hope. On this day, in a little town 80 miles from Pittsburgh, Pa., a little groundhog pokes his little head out his little hole and reveals whether or not we will face six more weeks of cold, bleak, dreary winter.

For many sports fans in Miami however, Groundhog's Day came early this year. Please forgive their haste. Not only is winter not a big issue where the temperature rarely drops below 80 degrees, but with a certain major football championship to be played in the city on February 4th, the certain minor holidays needed to be rescheduled.

Last night, in Indianapolis, Indiana, Shaquille O'Neal returned to the Miami Heat and made his season debut. This comes as great news for Miami Heat fans, who can now hope for six weeks of playoff basketball with their All-Star center back in the lineup. No longer will they have to endure the bleak, cold, depressing performances of has-beens or never-will-bes such as Earl Barron and Wayne Simien. Finally, the Big Barishynikov has come back to Miami.

In honor of Shaq's return, The Serious Tip has decided to compare these two Seers of Seers, Sages of Sages, Prognosticators of Prognosticators and Prophets Extraordinary in a quick tale of the tape to determine which, if either, could best help people find their missing bikes.

Locations:
Miami is a much more popular and warmer tourist destination, has beautiful beaches, and plenty of scantily-clad eye candy. Besides Gobbler's Knob, what else is in Punxsutawny? Advantage: Shaq.

Movies:
Groundhog Day vs. Kazaam, Steele, Blue Chips, Good Burger, etc. Although Groundhog Day was not filmed in Punxatawny, Shaq's movies lacked that certain something called Bill Murray's comic genius. And with "Ned the Head", "Needle-Nose Ned" Ryerson in a supporting role, Groundhog Day was a repetitive masterpiece. Advantage: Phil.

Place of Emergence:
'Tis much better to rise from the ashes of the Miami Heat bench dressed in a custom-made suit than for ye to cower in a Saddam Hussein hidey-hole in Gobbler's Knob. I think Shakespeare said that. Advantage: Shaq. And yes, I said Gobbler's Knob again. Huh, huh, cool.

Music:
Phil never released any albums with the Fu-Schnickens. Shaq unfortunately did. To paraphrase, "That's okay, not being bragadocious, but Supercalifragelistic, Shaq's rap career was quite atrocious." Major advantage: Phil.

Cultural impact:
Although Shaq has been around for what seems like forever, Phil is supposedly going on 120 years old. That's a lot of soothseeing. According to a web site about Phil, the secret to his longevity lies in a sheltered climate-controlled environment where he spends all of his non-working time. Kinda like Gilbert Arenas. Durability advantage: Phil.

In a close contest, Phil grabs the 3-2 victory over the Big Aristotle. This victory comes as no surprise however, as Phil's skills in prophesy haven't been challenged since Miss Cleo vanished from the scene several years ago.

Despite his defeat to the world's most famous groundhog, Miami Heat fans should be optimistic about Punxsutawny Shaq's return and their chances at another title, until of course, the Heat play the red-hot Phoenix Suns or Dallas Mavericks. Then it might be time to crawl into Phil's hidey-hole and wait for next year.

Boycotting Isiah - Day 575

 

575 days.

We are now 1/4 way through the 2006-2007 NBA season and I need to make a confession.
I haven't watched the Knicks play in 575 days.

Despite still following the team and considering myself a Knicks fan, I stopped rooting for them approximately a year and a half ago. Please understand. I know as of this writing the Knicks are 8-14 and only a 1/2 game out of first place. I also know Eddy Curry has been on a tear lately and Renaldo Balkman is a pleasant surprise in the making. I just could not in good faith pledge my alligence to the New York Knicks anymore.

So what has caused me to boycott my favorite team? Do you even have to ask? Oh, dear reader, the pain of saying his name. Isiah Thomas. The name grinds through my Knicks memories like fingernails on a chalkboard. Slowly images such as John Starks dunking on Jordan and the Bulls are being wiped from my mind's eye and replaced by Zeke's dazzling array of has-beens or never-will-bes.

Isiah Thomas.

To think he once gave me hope. In late December 2003, nearly three years ago, former Knick general manager Scott Layden was fired, replaced by Mr. Isiah Thomas. Layden had destroyed the team I once rooted so fanatically for. Gone were Patrick Ewing, John Starks, Charles Oakley, and Anthony Mason. In were Luc Longley, Glen Rice, Felton Spencer, Howard Eisley, Shandon Anderson, Antonio McDyess's injured knees, and Allan Houston's 100 million dollar contract. With the arrival of Isiah, glory days were supposed to be back again.

After two weeks on the job, Isiah struck, trading Charlie Ward, my last remaining favorite Knick, as part of a deal to the Phoenix Suns for Stephon Marbury. Although it meant losing Ward, the Knicks got "Starbury" and I couldn't be happier. I was even thinking about buying a Marbury jersey, my first jersey purchase since my Starks jersey.

Even though Isiah changed nearly the entire roster during the season, the Knicks made the 2003-2004 playoffs, albeit losing to the NJ Nets in three games. But Isiah had a plan. And I was all in.

Quickly I came to realize the emperor had no clothes. Ridiculous deals for Steve Francis, Jerome Williams, Malik Rose, etc., made me realize Isiah's plan was no plan at all. My favorite team was a haphazard mess to be tinkered with at any time. I was heartbroken, depressed, and all those other feelings that make a man find an accoustic guitar and a bottle of whiskey and sing to the moonlit sky.

For all his mismanagement, I will give Isiah Thomas credit, he does draft well. The same guy that found Marcus Camby and Tracy McGrady for the Toronto Raptors has drafted David Lee, Channing Frye, the aforementioned Balkman, and Nate Robinson, all of which I believe will have good NBA careers. But aside from being a decent judge of talent, Isiah has not improved the Knicks one iota.

So now the boycott is at approximately 575 days and counting. I don't care if the Knicks win a championship under Isiah Thomas. It's the principle. Until he goes, I am not watching. I'll tune in to the O.C., Deal or No Deal, Survivor, or some other mindless drivel. The boycott will continue.


- Jordi