Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Reflections on a High School Reunion

On August 21, 1995, I left Melbourne, Florida for the Military Entry Processing (MEP) Center in Jacksonville, Florida. It was the first step in a military journey that led me to Basic Training in Missouri, Advanced Training in Arizona, and four years in the Army.

It was also the last day I called Melbourne "home".

From the brotherhood of the military, I then went to Tallahassee to join the Seminole family at Florida State University. Then it was off to Tampa and a city and region I've often considered the closest thing I have to my own home. My friends and professional network are in the Tampa Bay area and it is close enough to Melbourne that I can visit family, but far enough to have my own life.

Going back to Melbourne last weekend for my high school graduating class's 20th reunion caused me to reflect on my life's strange journey. And of course, to write about it.

20 years? Have I been gone that long?

I wasn't a very good student in high school. I graduated with a 2.5 GPA. That's half Bs and half Cs. I'm pretty sure I had a few Ds mixed in as well, balanced out by a few - a very few - As. For whatever reason, I didn't try academically in high school. I didn't give much thought to college or any future plan. I didn't have any ambition, nor any guidance. I was just there, existing my way through three years at Eau Gallie High.

To be honest, the only reason I joined the Army was because I talked baseball with the recruiter and didn't have any other plans. Looking back, it was probably the best thing I could have done.

But knowing all that I have become, the idea of going to my high school reunion intrigued me. I wondered what everyone else had done. Were there classmates who also joined the military? Were there any who also went to Florida State? Although I had met people at FSU who went to my high school, they graduated after I did. How many people went to Florida State when I could have gone in 1995 and graduated when I finally enrolled after leaving the Army in 1999?

And of course there were friends I hadn't seen in 20 years. What were they up to? Would they remember me? I was friends with some on Facebook, but Facebook is only a step above keeping a business card in a Rolodex.

In the weeks leading up to the reunion, I had mixed feelings, the biggest being my employment status. Or lack thereof. As frequent readers of this blog know, I haven't worked in a while. Truth be told, I haven't had a job in over two years. While there is some hope I might have a job soon, unemployment is not a good feeling. Even with interesting experiences in Afghanistan, in the Army, stand up comedy, and nearly two master's degrees, would people look down on me if I told them I wasn't working? Even in "today's economy", that's not normal.

I'm also single and have no kids. That's also not entirely normal for someone in the late 30s. Would I have to answer for that? And how does one actually answer that? Although I am not against the idea of marriage or kids one day, life has taken me on a very strange route.

Another problem hit me in the days leading up to the reunion. Try as a I could, I didn't remember much about high school. I didn't remember many of my classes, my teachers' names, what I learned, or any extraordinary experiences, in or out of school. As I mentioned, I was just kinda there.

Despite my difficulty, I did fill out a questionnaire sent out by the reunion committee. Here are their questions and my answers:
  1. Marital Status: single

  2. Children/ages: None.

  3. Occupation: Market Analyst, MBA Candidate

  4. Where have you traveled to? Bosnia, Qatar, Afghanistan, Dubai, Palm Bay

  5. Greatest Achievement: Realizing I was actually kinda smart

  6. Favorite Teacher/Class: Mr. Dibben, Electronics

  7. Most Embarrassing Moment - getting a bum phone number from a girl who will remain nameless

  8. Best High School Memory - graduating
Granted, they are not the best answers. As I mentioned, occupation was tough to answer. So was Question 5. What was my greatest achievement? Was it receiving a Master's Degree in International Affairs? Was it writing a thesis that has been quoted heavily all over the internet? Was it writing a yet-to-be published 200-page novel? Was it doing stand-up comedy at the Tampa Improv? Winning Writer of the Year at the FSU newspaper? Surviving Afghanistan? Being in the Army?

I settled on "Realizing I was actually kinda smart" because if I never developed confidence in my intelligence, I would never have had any of the jobs I had or followed through with any college endeavors.

Question 7 was also a bit of a challenge. I've written about my bum phone number adventure here before, so I cited that. I didn't want to go into too much depth with that story, however, as the follow up gets even weirder. But now, as I looked through my blog for inspiration, there was another great embarrassing moment I could have gone into much more detail about in the questionnaire - a time when I called my English teacher "voluptuous" instead of "verbose".

That might have been better.

Be it as it may, I answered what I could and drove to Melbourne to see my old classmates for the first time in 20 years. The event was divided between a happy hour on Friday evening and a gala on Saturday. My plan was go to both.

Friday night I went to the bar for the reunion happy hour. As I drove, a looming sense of nervousness crept over me. I felt like it was the first day of school all over again. Would anyone remember me?

Thankfully, one of my old friends saw me moments after I walked into the bar. We exchanged pleasantries and decided getting a drink would be a good idea. He introduced me to his wife and we all chatted for a while before we each recognized other people we wanted to say hello to. Although I had to (re)introduce myself to a few people, once we started chatting, it was like we never left.

On a positive note, my friend's wife said I looked skinny and other people said I looked good. That's definitely a win.

Saturday night I again hung out with my friend and his wife, talked to several other people, learned some of my former classmates did spend time in the military, some did go to Florida State, and some had other great adventures either in Melbourne or around the world. Some were parents, others were married, some didn't have kids, and some never tied the knot.

Although my individual story was unique, others traveled their own very interesting roads.

Perhaps the best part of the reunion experience, besides reconnecting with old friends and making new ones, was the lack of egos and judgement. There was no pretentiousness and no "I was this" or "I was that" or any present day "I am this" or "I am that". The awkward social strata of high school had been wiped clean by maturity. Whereas I might not have been the most popular kid back then, 20 years later, I was just another person in their late-30s from the Eau Gallie High Class of 1995 trying to make it through life. No matter what they did to get there, everyone at the reunion seemed to be in the same boat.

And speaking of boats, I still can't see the autostereogram image on the cover of my high school yearbook.

I've been told it's an anchor.