Interviewed by The Gilded Page Bookstore

I forgot to post about this a few months ago, but the kind folks at The Gilded Page Bookstore in Tarpon Springs, Florida interviewed me on their website. I really liked this interview as they asked some really good questions.

Here is a sample:

Here is the link to the rest of the interview:

Author Spotlight: Interview with Michael Lortz

Interview with Curveball at the Crossroads Narrator Torian Brackett Part 3

In this segment, I talked with Torian about the development of the audiobook. 

He discussed his process in creating voices and his thoughts on voicing the Devil. 

Includes Chapter 11 of the Curveball at the Crossroads audiobook!

The audiobook is available by CLICKING HERE.

Talking with Michael Tillery on The Starting Five Live

Over the weekend, I had the awesome pleasure of chatting with Michael Tillery of The Starting Five Live online radio show on RapStation.com. Mike is a longtime e-migo whom I have corresponded with for 10 years or so. Mike has been a freelance writer as well who has given me a lot of advice and mentorship on developing my own voice.

These days, Mike hosts The Starting Five Live on RapStation.com, a web platform created by Chuck D of Public Enemy. The Starting Five Live hosts discussions on sports and culture. He has hosted sports legends such as Julius Erving, media personalities such as Jemele Hill, and music artists such as Skyzoo, so it is a definitely honor to be included on that list.

Mike and I spoke a lot about the blogosphere, social media, and then talked about the New York Knicks and the mess between owner James Dolan and Knicks legend Charles Oakley.

Please go check out my discussion with  Michael Tillery. Hopefully Mike will have me on again.

The Starting Five Live 170: The Michael Lortz Interview

The Origins of Jordi Scrubbings and his Afro

Ever wonder how I came up with the name Jordi Scrubbings?

Ever wonder why I wear an afro?

Buddy of the Blog Clark Brooks wondered that as well. And Clark did something about it. He invited me on to his podcast, The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast, which oddly enough has been ridiculously consistent since it began in January. But that's Clark's irony, right there. Who else would say his podcast and blog for that matter are inconsistent, yet post on both regularly?

Seems he should celebrate his consistency, not his inconsistency. Well, at least he is ridiculous. That is true.

I am not so sure about the trickle. Clark is a bit older than I am, but his trickling is a personal issue I am not sure I want to talk to him about.

But back to the podcast!

Clark had me on his podcast (did I mention that already?). It was the first podcast I have been on in a while and it was the first I have ever been on in person. Clark has a radio-like set-up and it's quite snazzy. And he is sponsored! Which means he may or may not be making money on the deal.

Too bad I don't have an appearance fee.

But anyway, I was on Clark's podcast. We talked the origin of the name "Jordi Scrubbings", why I wear an afro, my recent lack of comedy, my worst comedy performance ever, my new blog, my current blog, baseball, and how years ago I got really sick after a night of drinking.

It was a great time.

You can find the podcast on itunes by clicking the underlined letters, under the name

An interview with triple or quadruple threat Michael Lortz aka “that kid with the Afro wig”

Did I mention Clark is older than me? I think that's why he thinks he can call me "kid".

Hopefully, maybe, one day, if the planets align correctly, and the sun shines right, perhaps Clark will have me back.

Another interview Brian Spaeth: Author and Filmmaker

Many moons ago, I would interview people I thought were interesting or who I took some creative influence from. I haven't really done much of that lately, but after reading writer/filmmaker Brian Spaeth's latest book "Flight of a Super Airplane", I figured I would drop him a line and ask him a few questions on writing, filmmaking, and his thoughts on the creative process.

Me: So what’s new? What are you working on these days?

Brian: Currently am in post-production (mostly editing at this point) on A Cleveland in the Rye, a full-length feature we shot mostly in December. There was a pick-up day just last week, and one more day to shoot in June, most likely.

It’s about an inept documentary filmmaker who’s following self-dubbed action lawyer James Cleveland as he tries to find the 7 kidnapped daughters of a prominent Senator inside an abandoned bank.

I also have a (LeBron-centric) book about sports apathy that could possibly come out this summer, and another that uses my Twitter archive to tell the story of a struggling college drop-out trying to make a splash in the tech startup world.

Me: I recently finished your second book in the Super Airplane saga. How would you say it differs from the first?

Brian: I’d say it largely knew what it wanted to be - at least in terms of plot - right from the start, whereas the first didn’t really have a plot until about halfway through, when I realized there was a plot I could attached to the randomness.

That’s the biggest thing - other than that, there are some nixed characters and other details. Flight spends quite a bit of time in the text wondering whether it’s serving as a proper sequel to Prelude or not, so I’d rather not say more than that, since this wise question of yours is indeed answered inside the book.

It’s also twice as long.

Me: The second book ends on a cliffhanger. Will there definitely be a third book? If so, when might readers expect it?

Brian: Yes, definitely will be a third. The story and character arcs are all laid out in my head, and I’ve put some segments down on virtual paper, but I don’t see actually being able to sit down and write this until later this year or early next. The soonest anyone will see Dawn of a Super Airplane is sometime in 2014, unfortunately. I’m actually a huge fan of this series, and really want to read the next one.

Me: Will the third book be the last in the Super Airplane Saga? Or will it continue?

Brian: Will absolutely continue until the story is finished. Flight said it would be six books long, although Prelude claimed five. We’ll see.

Me: You have also put out a movie and have worked on other film projects. Why write books? Which do you find more rewarding: the filmmaking or the writing?

Brian: I go back and forth, but since the rise of the ebook and self-pubbing becoming legit, I am really leaning toward books. There’s more control, you can get more product out in a shorter time, and there no need for gut-wrenching stuff like fund-raising, etc.

I think my filmmaking itches - which are definitely there - will be scratched on YouTube via shorts and such after Rye. My true loves are ideas, and the creative process, and storytelling, and I can do that more often writing books. I’m also fascinated with the economics of indie publishing, and I’d like to be able to devote more time and thought and experimentation to it.

There’s a lot of technical aspects to filmmaking that I just don’t have that love for. I like it, but I’m not one of those people who could be shooting all the time. It becomes tedious for me. (I love it in spurts, but it becomes tedious. And it takes forever.)

Me: What is your writing process, especially with the Super Airplane books? With the abundance of characters and interweaving storylines, how do you keep the story straight when writing?

Brian: It’s kind of different every time. I generally have an idea where I’m going with something, but what usually happens is I’ll just kind of garbage something out until a certain something “clicks”. Sometimes it’s a scene or a line of dialog or who-knows-what, but when it happens, suddenly the picture for the rest of the piece is there in my head.

I see now that I didn’t answer your question, but I guess I’m saying I don’t overthink it - it just kind of creates itself. I of course have checkpoints and things I know need to happen, but I try to make it as organic as possible.

For example, when I killed off Mujukee’s wife in Prelude, it literally wasn’t conceived until it came through the keyboard from my finger. I was like, “Whoa whoa whoa, what just happened?”

Me: I am writing my own book, and have finished the rough draft. So asking this as personal advice as well, what is your editing process? Do you have people read the rough drafts? When are you sure it is ready for print?

Brian: I have two people I go to for editing help now. One I’ve used for a long time, the other is more recent, and now considered invaluable. I listen to everything, but I know when it’s ready. I’ve always been capable of being objective about my own stuff. The number of abandoned projects is proof of it.

Me: True or false: Merri Sherman is not real, Brian Spaeth is real, Brian Spathe is not real, and Calvin Stadiums is real.

Brian: All are true, except Brian Spaeth and Brian Spathe are probably closer to the same person than I’d care to admit.

Me: What about Bruce Willis?

Brian: Bruce has big changes happening in his life in the next book that will bring this into question.

Me: Are there any more Brad Radby movies yet to be discovered?

Brian: Maybe.

Me: What are you reading/watching these days?

Brian: Hmm...I keep trying to catch up on Justified on Amazon Primal, but don’t seem to find the time. Mad Men, but I don’t really like it. Waiting for Breaking Bad, mostly. I’m watching a lot of documentaries on Netflix to get a feel for different editing styles of them.

Me: Looking back now a few years later, thoughts on the YaySports! blog? Was it an effective medium for gaining a fanbase?

Brian: It definitely was - I still have people ask me to bring it back quite often. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t turned into a sports apathist. My blahness about the NBA and sports led to mishandling and sacrificing a lot of the attention, audience, and opportunities that I had back then.

Lots was learned, though, and there’s truly never been a better time to be pursuing creative endeavors.

You can find Brian's website here.

An Interview with Wrestler Ethan Essex of the Hatchet City All-Stars

I have to admit, I've had the interview sitting on the shelf for a minute or two. I was looking for a more mainstream place to post this, but after negotiations with other forums feel through, I figured I would post it here. Enjoy.

Jordi Scrubbings: How did Ethan Essex get his start in pro wrestling?

Ethan Essex: Growing up in Delaware, I had a lot of exposure to it. You had all kinds of fresh little indy shows that me and my friends would go to all over. You have ECWA in Wilmington run by legendary promoter Jim Kettner, and you had Delaware Championship Wrestling out of the Southern Delaware area. Maryland Championship Wrestling has been running all over Maryland for quite a while and it was only a 20 minute drive to Philly. Every three weeks, ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) would return to the Arena for television tapings. I would be there every taping chanting “EC'dub” so loud that my voice would be gone at school the following week. When ECW closed, that spot was filled by CZW, ROH, 3PW, and WXW and so on later on in my teen years. And of course watching WWE and WCW.

All I ever wanted to be was a Professional Wrestler. How could you not with all these great companies around me? So I began training with Jeff Rocker at DCW (Delaware Championship Wrestling, now Dynamite Championship Wrestling out of Dover, DE) and had been doing ring announcing duties. I had some issues come up in my life and had to move to Florida. Jeff Rocker recommended I continue my training with Bam Bam Mancuso and Florida Extreme Wrestling. It is there that I met and worked out with fellow Hatchet City All-Star and brother Bryan Maddox and another one of my good friends inside and outside of the wrestling world, Nooie Lee.

JS: Where are you currently wrestling?

EE: Currently, Maddox and I are wrestling for WWE Hall of Famer Afa the Wild Samoan's WXW (World Xtreme Wrestling) and are the 4-time WXW World Tag-Team Champions! How fresh is that?

JS: Who are your wrestling influences?

EE: Owen Hart, Sean "X-Pac" Waltman, Shane Douglas, Raven ... I really could keep on going with guys that influence me. There is so much talent that never really got credit or pushed as main guys, but ran with it when given the right booking. They were always more over with me than the top guys.

JS: You and your partner in the Hatchet City All-Stars, Bryan Maddox, come out to Psychopathic Records Artists Twiztid and wear Insane Clown Posse garb in the ring. What does ICP and representing the Juggaloes mean to you?

EE: I love the Juggalo Fam. Straight up. It’s the one place I know I can turn when life is down and out and somebody is like, “Man, go get ya shine on in this piece”. I've been listening to ICP for almost as long as I’ve been watching wrestling. I’ve been a Juggalo even longer. I can't say we represent juggalos, if anything they represent us.

JS: How accepting has the ICP community been to the Hatchet City All-Stars?

EE: We always get love from the Family when they come out to shows. Except at Gathering of the Juggalos last year. Bryan and I were tagged up with Trent Acid for Juggalo Championship Wrestling.

On a side note, Trent was a really cool guy and learned a lot from him. I’m glad he and I got to cross paths. RIP Trent. The party might be gone but it’s certainly not dead.

Back to the Gathering, we were tagged up as Trent’s Alter Boys against ICP, (former WWE legend) Scott Hall, Sid Vicious (aka Psycho Sid, Sid Justice, etc), and Corporal Robinson. Now all weekend guys like Sabu and Mad-Man Pondo and Ian Rotten were coming up and telling Bryan and I to watch out for trash flying at us from the crowd. Here are some legit tough guys and they are telling me to be careful of the fans?

Anyway, the Juggalos got rowdy and since were aligned with the top heel in the company we needed to have eyes in the backs of our heads. Well, let me tell you the Juggalos didn't disappoint. All kinds of stuff were thrown at the ring that night. From chairs – the poor ref took a chair from a fan in the back of the head and it cut him – to hundreds of two liter bottles of Faygo Pop. I got nailed with an empty Faygo bottle and Maddox and I narrowly escaped a diaper. It was like a landfill come to life!

After that match I had a lot of Juggalos and Juggalettes come up and say what’s up and give us respect. To me, that made getting the entire festival’s trash dumped on us by 20,000 Juggalos and Juggalettes all worth it.

JS: What was your best match ever?

EE: I have had some good ones and I’ve had some bad ones. But my best singles match would have to be against a kid named Freestyle. A lot of other workers had come to that show. I felt like I had something to prove to them and we tore the house down. That match was a very important match to me – there was a lot of back story, but that’s a whole other thing in itself.

JS: What all-time wrestler would you like to have a match with? Why? What about a tag team would you like to take on?

EE: Hulk Hogan, hands down. If you’re wrestling Hogan then you’re in a good spot.

As far as tag-teams go, I think Maddox and I would agree on Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith.

JS: What is your greatest accomplishment in wrestling?

EE: We recently captured the WXW World Tag-Team Championship for the fourth time. That’s a record for that company and we feel honored and privileged to hold that record. Also performing in front of 20,000 Juggalos with ICP will always go down as a top moment.

JS: What does the future hold for Ethan Essex?

EE: If the past four years have taught me anything, it’s that nothing is promised. It’s what you make it. So we'll see. Good things I hope.

JS: Would you like to say anything to the fans?

EE: Thank you for the support you guys have shown us. It blows my mind. We need you as much you need us. Whoop Whoop.

JS: Where can we see more Ethan Essex? Do you have a website?

EE: The Hatchet City All-Stars page is under construction, so in the meantime fans can find me on Myspace at myspace.com/jayicon01

Flashback: Carlton Williams, Tallahassee's Local Badass

Here is an article I wrote for the FSView & Florida Flambeau in February 2003. Quick backstory: when I was doing research into the local goth scene I met this interesting gentleman who was dressed like a desert biker version of Willie Nelson. Needless to say, I had to tell this guy's story.

Tallahassee’s Local Badass

Tallahassee’s bar and club scene is ever changing. Names and locations come and go seemingly as often as the students that frequent them. Just in the last year, for example, clubs such as Chubby’s and Skyline opened, adding to the wide array of establishments. For the last five decades, there has been one constant in the scene, however, no matter what bar or club comes or goes. His name is Carlton Williams and he is a local Tallahassee legend.

Contrary to any rumors of him “crawling out from under a beer stein,” Williams was born fifty-five years ago right here in Tallahassee.

“I was born on Orange Ave.,” Williams said. “I was impatient. It’s a good thing my grandmother was a nurse.”

During his youth in Tallahassee, Williams saw the integration of Rickard’s High School and later partied at the same places as Jim Morrison, who would later become famous as head of the 60’s rock band The Doors.

“As a human being he [Morrison] didn’t need to exist,” Williams said. “His poetry was good. I liked some of his music. But at a party he always had to be the center of attention and he always Bogarted.”

Afterwards Williams joined the US Army. His Army career was cut short after his training when he was told he was “too crazy” to stay in.

“It didn’t make no sense to me because that was 1967 and I was just a body count basically,” Williams said.

After his time in the military was abruptly over, Williams used his Army training to become a bounty hunter.

“I was working at the Piggly Wiggly and split out of there. I figured I’d go and have a good time,” he said. “[Bounty hunting] was different then then it is now. You didn’t have to be certified.”

Although bounty hunting didn’t pay very much- a lot of the money went to paying informants- it gave Williams a rush. For over 25 years, he strapped on his familiar military utility vest, body armor, mask and hood and hunted down people who skipped bail.

“I was doing it off and on,” Williams said. “When you do something like that, you get to where you think you can break the law. You have to know when to walk away.”

In the meanwhile, Williams worked in construction, carpentry, laid vinyl, and sold handmade leather goods. In 1970, he met Judy, his future wife. They married in 1971 and have been together since.

“I told her I was going to marry her and she said ‘no way’,” Williams said.

The couple claims to have been the first merchants to sell their goods in the FSU Student Union.

“We were just some old hippies,” he said. “We would just throw a blanket down and sell our stuff there. Now they charge an arm and a leg.”

Still Williams bounty hunted, rounding up a vast collection of bail jumpers.

“Me and my boss would just sit in the neighborhoods and watch for these people,” he said. “There was one guy- mean old guy, strong as an ox- he wore me around for like three or four months. We finally got him. I waited at the backend of the guy’s house when I could hear my boss beating on that man’s house. I could see the guy running out. My boss pulled his car right in his way and grabbed him, sticking his gun in his stomach. I came out the passenger side and pulled out my gun and pointed it up against his skull. We put the handcuffs on him and gave him to a deputy. It was exciting. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night.”

After bounty hunting, Williams went on to do security at the Cow Haus. There he said he saw a situation there where bouncers weren’t acting as well as he thought they should. He worked there for several years, “cleaning up the place.”

Recently, Williams has been stricken with several health conditions. He has suffered a stroke, had a major heart attack, and just weeks ago, his doctors thought he might have cancer.

“The night of my heart attack, I kept saying ‘Something ain’t right. Something ain’t right,’” Williams said. “The doctor told me I might have had several smaller heart attacks when I worked at the Cow Haus but I whenever felt tightness I would just jump in the mosh pit and get the blood flowing.”

The heart attack made him eventually leave the security job at the Cow Haus and resume selling homemade leather goods at the flea market.

“I would sell leather bikini tops to the college girls in exchange for a picture them wearing it- that was the deal,” he said.

Currently, because there “isn’t much work for someone who has had their chest opened up,” Williams works overnight security at car lots.

Throughout it all, Carlton Williams continues to do what he does best- visit the bar scene. Whether it be a bar on the Strip or Club Jade on Tuesday night “Goth Night,” Williams feels at home.

“I’ve been in bars so long, even if I didn’t smoke, I would probably still be sick,” he said. “It [a bar] is the only building I can be in and be comfortable.”

Epilogue: A quick Google search doesn't find much for a follow-up on Carlton Williams, although I think he may have created a twitter account. Unfortunately, it hasn't been updated since September 2009.

An Interview with Jason Rewald of The Delta Blues

A few months ago, I learned that the webmaster of the blues blog The Delta Blues, Jason Rewald, lives in the Tampa area. As I am always looking for the opportunity to talk about the blues with some like-minded fans, I met with Jason and followed up our meeting with some emailed questions about the blues, Tampa's place in blues history, and a show he is putting on this Fall.


How long have you been writing about the blues?

Not too long actually.  I have been a long time listener, but never really much of a writer, or scholar of any kind.   This whole "project" started when I was planning a trip to the Delta with a few guys who live on the East Coast of Florida.  I decided the easiest way to plan the trip, while sharing it with the world, would be to write about it.  At the time, it made sense.  I was also able to educate those guys on the historic spots we were going to see.  That, in turn, led me into researching the blues and writing about it.

What got you into blues research?

Like I mentioned, it started with planning a trip.  From there, it turned into more of a personal journey to have questions answered.  After reading a few blues books, I started to learn just how easy it is to do this kind of thing, and I was quite amazed more researchers are not diligent in what they do.  From there, I decided I wanted to do blues research more so I could disprove others research than to prove something myself.  The blues is such an oral history, and has always been regarded as such.  I mean, just because some guy in the Delta says he knew Robert Johnson and he lived "right over there" - to me, that was never enough.  Show me the proof.  Show me a Census Record.   Once I started getting good feedback and support from the blues community, I knew I was onto something.  Once I started getting challenged on my research, I knew I was being taken seriously.

You have done some great work researching blues roots and the scene in Tampa. How important is Tampa in blues history?

Well I appreciate it!  Tampa is far more important in blues history than most people - especially other scholars - give it credit for.   Since Tampa was a stop on the Chitlin' Circuit, a lot of great played here in Tampa.  But there is more than that.  For instance, Ray Charles recorded his first album here.  The dance "The Twist" was invented on Central Ave here in Tampa.  The song "A Tisket a Tasket" by Ella Fitzgerald was actually written in the lobby of the Jackson House, a boarding house for African Americans that still stands today by the train station downtown.  It is also rumored Martin Luther King Jr. roamed those halls.  The history here is rich.  Everyone always thinks of Ybor, but the truth is, there is more to Tampa history than Ybor.  Then there's Tampa Red.  I mean, he was the absolute Epicenter of the blues scene in Chicago back in the early days - and he learned his chops in Tampa.  I mean, he was known as "The Guitar Wizard" and he learned here in Tampa.  That has to stand for something, right?

How do you find the information you write about? What about here in Tampa?

I find my information in a variety of ways.  Usually a good place to start is challenging or supporting other people's research.  I usually read a book, or an article, and see gaps missing - I try to fill in those gaps.  With more and more agencies placing their databases online, it gets easier to search for documents and evidence to support your research. Sometimes though, it does require travel.  Some smaller towns still have documents on file in court houses, and you have to pay a visit to check them out.  But for the most part, you can find a lot of things online.  Not to mention, sometimes all the research has been done by 5 other researchers, they just all found different pieces of the puzzle, and never spoke to each other about it.  I simply come along and put the puzzle together.

As far as here in Tampa, it all started with research into Tampa Red.  I knew he was from Tampa, but I wanted to know from WHERE in Tampa.  I wanted addresses.  This led me looking into African American communities, because of segregation back then.  I in turn found out about The Scrub, the ghetto in Tampa where a lot of the African Americans lived.  This term got me interested - I knew things had to be in close proximity, because of the lack of travel, and again, the segregation.  So I started looking around the area of The Scrub.   After a few calls to local libraries and visiting USF, I learned about Central Ave, the main African American business district back in the 30's.  From there, it was all downhill.  I found interviews, documents, old maps, and more about this historic area.  I feel that history like this should not be just forgotten ... someone has to help keep those memories alive.  Actually, The Scrub - or where it was - is right by the 275 and I-4 interchange.  There are still historic buildings and churches from that time thriving in that area.

(Ed note: for more information on the "lost" African American culture in Tampa, check out this link.)

You are doing a benefit show for Willie Brown. Who was Willie Brown and how did you locate his resting site?

Willie Brown.  He was .... the man!  So, he was a guitarist back in the heyday of the blues.  He was born in 1900 in Clarksdale, Mississippi.  He is buried in an unmarked grave in Tunica County, Mississippi.   Most people know him from the song "Crossroads", where Robert Johnson - or Eric Clapton, depending on who you listen to - belts out the line "You can run, you can run.  Tell my friend-boy Willie Brown."  Willie was actually a sideman to a lot of blues greats. He played with Robert Johnson, Charley Patton, and even Son House.  Willie recorded a few of his own sides, but only three copies are known to exist today.  Anyway, he was a mentor, friend, and sideman for most of the great pre-war Delta bluesmen.  He was actually playing with Son House quite a bit.  When Willie died, Son House laid his guitar down, and refused to play.  Of course, he was talked back into it during the blues revival of the 60's.  But Willie was that influential.  And just to be clear to any fans out there - Willie Brown is NOT Kid Bailey.  I get that question a lot!   So I am planning a benefit show to get Willie a headstone.  It's long overdue.  All the money raised - every cent - will go towards the purchase of a grave marker for him.

I cannot take credit for finding his resting place, though I did do a bit or research on it.  Most people don't realize that researching people with a common name - like Robert Johnson, or Willie Brown - is pretty hard to do.  I mean, there are a lot of Willie Browns out there!   As far as finding the grave, it started with the research of Gayle Dean Wardlow.  Gayle was able to track down Willie Moore, who was a long time friend of Willie Brown's.  The two met in 1916, so it is safe to say they knew each other well.  In interviews, Moore said he was aware of Brown's hospitalization for alcoholism, as well as the burial.  Moore confirmed this burial to have been in The Good Shepherd Church.  Moore and Brown were even both drafted into the Army together - but peace was declared before they were sent overseas.  Moore even used to sing while Brown played guitar.  They were close.

Of course, interviews are never enough for me, so I went digging further.  After finding his death certificate, it says he was buried in "Good Shepherd" in Prichard, Mississippi.  There you have it.  Now there is an interview, and a document verifying his burial location.   To make matters even clearer, I was looking into the listed funeral home that is on the death certificate.  I was able (through another acquaintance) to reach out to a man who lives in that area.  Another blues fan.  Turns out he had talked with the funeral home (now under a different name) and was working on getting the location of the exact plot Willie Brown was buried in.  Though that information is hard to come by - funeral home records are private records after all - it does also confirm the cemetery as The Good Shepherd.

Why here, why now for a benefit show?

Well, the here part is easy.  I live here!  I have a family, and the challenge of organizing an event far from home is ... overwhelming.  So I figured Tampa has a rich blues history, and has a lot of blues talent in the area.  Not to mention, a lot of the blues talent in the area has played in the Delta.  I mean, it's all blues, right?  Willie Brown is such a huge influence on blues, most blues players at least know of him.   As far as the why now part ... well, if not now, when?  The truth of the matter is, a headstone is long overdue for Willie Brown. He was an iconic figure in blues music, and essentially, American history.  It's time he gets some recognition.

Can you tell us a bit about the show? Who will be performing?

Sure!  The show is scheduled for September 26th, which is a Sunday.  It's at Rick's on the River, a really cool venue here in town.  It will start at 4pm - nice and early.  It will go until about 9pm or so.  We are going to have a raffle with amazing prizes, as well as an auction for a really nice guitar.  Of course, we will pass a donation bucket around too. Really we need to raise $2100 to get Willie his headstone.  I should also mention this is a free show!  No cover!

The lineup is amazing, and I cannot thank the sponsors and the bands enough for all their help, and willingness to do this event.  The lineup includes Sean Chambers, The Backwater Blues Band, Lee Pons, Eddie Wright, and Special Guest Damon Fowler.  It will be an amazing show.  Every one of those guys can play the blues.  I mean PLAY the blues.  And a free show to boot?

I hope a lot of people are able to come out for this worthy cause.  Everyone is welcome!

The Tallahassee Miss Cleo aka A Fraud Named Sister Fay

Here is another one from the archives. Written in 2002, it's a story about my trip to a local Tallahassee psychic and palm reader.

“Who’s the father of the baby?”

“Call me now.”

Everyone who watches late night TV knows the hysterics of Miss Cleo, the pseudo-Jamaican fortuneteller.  Few people realize Tallahassee has its own psychic friend, Sister Faye.  Sister Fay owns and operates her own psychic consultation service located on 1729 Mahan Drive.  She has been in the business for 48 years.

On Monday, I called Sister Fay to make an appointment for an interview.  I was greeted across the line by nothing but a meek hello.  I asked if the number was indeed Sister Fay’s and the voice assured me it was.  I then explained to the voice my interviewing intention and asked when I may conduct the interview.  3 pm Tuesday, the voice said.

That evening I wrote approximately 20 questions to ask Sister Fay.  These questions ranged from the practical (What is the difference between a palm, crystal, or psychic reading?) to the idealistic (What are your dreams for the world?).  I also included questions of a random nature, such as her thoughts on September 11^th and her thoughts on the upcoming Seminole football season.

Tuesday arrived and I drove to Sister Fay’s.  When I got there, I joined a group of four other people waiting to see the psychic reader.  I was a bit early so I sat quietly and waited my turn.  At approximately 3:30, the office door opened and a small voice beckoned me to enter.  I sat down before an elderly woman who had a very puzzled look on her face.

Trouble raised its ugly head as I discussed my interviewing intentions with Sister Fay.  She opposed the idea of my interview, claiming it was not she who I had talked to on the phone the day earlier.  When I asked who it might have been, Sister Fay responded, “My ten year old granddaughter answers my phone sometimes.  It must have been her.”  I guess her psychic abilities couldn’t tell I knew the difference between the voice of an old woman and a ten-year-old girl.

Knowing I could not argue with her, I asked when a better time would be.  She told me 5 pm.

Again I drove to Sister Fay’s, this time at 5:00 as she had directed.  I stood outside patiently, 5:05, 5:10, 5:15.  At 5:20, Sister Fay finally opened the door to her office.  She ordered me to enter her office and sit in the seat directly in front of her.

“I can tell you everything you want to know,” she promised.  “Just put 25 dollars in your hand and tell me if you believe in God.”  When I said yes, she pulled out the tarot cards and started to give me a reading.  I went through with it because I figured it would add to the interview process.

Sister Fay’s reading was nothing short of a complete fraud.  She opened by asking me my age.  After I answered 24, she told me about her youth and how her older sister would not let her tag along.  She then asked me if I had the same problem when I was growing up.  I told her I didn’t have any older brothers or sisters so I couldn’t relate.

She then started to flip over the tarot cards.  On the 3^rd card she told me I had been a lonely little boy during my youth and I always wished I had brothers or sisters.  This was a lie.  I did have two younger brothers and was never lonely growing up.

By about the 15^th card she told me I needed to curtail my money spending habit.  I had spent too much on material things in my life and I needed to learn how to save money.  This too was a lie.  If anything, I am the exact opposite.  I saved quite a bit of money while I was in the Army in order to pay for college and only in the last year have I started to buy good clothes, etc for work and other needed occasions.

Sister Fay attempted to help out my love life as well.  According to the cards, I recently broke up with a commanding, over-bearing girl who was no good for me.  Sister Fay reassured me breaking up with her was the right thing to do.  This was one hundred percent fabricated.

She continued on with her story of my life.  Apparently, I have had leg and lower back problems.  This was nothing to worry about, she advised me.  I also needed to communicate more with my father.  It was all the typical psychic rhetoric.

When she finished with the cards, she told me to look at my list of questions and asked if any were not answered.  Of course none of them were answered, but I did not let her know that.  I told her it was amazing that she knew what was on the list.  “The cards always knew the right answers,” she concluded.

Like that the reading was over.  She had told me nothing about my personal life and answered none of my questions.  I left thinking the interview was a complete failure and I was out 25 bucks.  But looking back, I did get a first hand experience with the Tallahassee Miss Cleo, a fraud by the name of Sister Fay.

An Interview with AfroBoy

It's been a long time since I did an interview with a pro wrestler. So when given the opportunity, I couldn't pass up the chance to ask local Florida wrestler AfroBoy a few questions.

AfroBoy has always been a favorite of mine, a good wrestler and a good guy with a great hair do. Unfortunately, he has been sidelined for the last few months. But despite not being in the ring, he still goes to the shows and makes his presence known to the fans.

So without further ado ...

Jordi: You've been out for a while. What happened?

AfroBoy: Well J, I had what I thought was a minor accident. Turned out that I fractured both my leg and ankle.

J: What have done to get ready to return to the ring?

AB: I had to have surgery on the ankle which lengthened my return date. Been going through the recommended rehab.

J: When can fans expect to see you back in action?

AB: I am confident that the fans will see me back in the ring sooner than later. As for now, I am remaining present in the commentary department of WXW.

J: So how did AfroBoy end up in the Florida wrestling scene? Did you train here in FL?

AB: Yes I did train in Florida at the now defunct FXE Academy. I received training from several professionals of the sport. It assisted in producing some wrestlers making waves: Simon Sez, Mike Cruz, Bobby Fonta, and Da Biff.

(Ed note: watch AfroBoy and Da Biff take on Simon Sez and fellow local grappler Gus Money here.)

J: What would you say has been your best match?

AB: I do not know if it was my best, but a good one. My favorite match was against the British Lions. I had the privilege of tagging with Scotty 2 Hotty. It was the first time I got to main event a program.

J: What wrestlers did you admire growing up?

AB: I was a big fan of Superfly Jimmy Snuka and Flyin' Brian Pillman. I enjoyed Macho Man, Mr Perfect, and Rick Rude. All were amazing in my eyes.

J: Who are your professional idols? What wrestlers do you look up to now?

AB: Dwayne Johnson is someone I look up to. While many question why he won't return to the ring, I admire that he was able to walk away. His in ring work led him to another path which has been just as successful and more power to the man. I also admire Randy Orton. Another 3rd generation superstar who has been able to carve his own niche. Bound to be around for many years to come.

J: Let's talk about the 'fro. How long have you had it? Did you grow it just for wrestling?

AB: The 'Fro has been on for almost four years now. June will make 3 yrs for me as a pro wrestler. I grew up watching my favorite wrestlers all with long hair. So I figured I would let mine grow out as well. Only problem is that my hair doesn't just lay down and look fabulous. I pick it out and make it look 'FroLicious!!!

J: How do you maintain and take care of the 'fro?

AB: I do keep the 'Fro trimmed up. Once a month, I go see my lady at the salon and make sure it is touched up. Add a bit of sheen on the night of a match and Damm, that boy is fly!

J: What message do you want to send to your fans?

AB: Thank you for all the support up to this point. Many may say it, but I believe it... 2010 is going to be a big year for your friendly neighborhood AfroBoy and the Afro-Squad. Keep it Pimpin' ! ! !

An Interview with Jay Busbee from Jan 2008

Like many artists, writers, and creative geniuses, I have tons of unpublished material. I have several binders of ideas, notions, poems, and half-written stories. Every once in a while, I'm going to dust one off and publish it here.

Here is an interview I did with blogger, author, and longtime e-migo Jay Busbee. Jay now writes regularly for Yahoo! at their NASCAR blog, From The Marbles, and their golf blog, Devil Ball Golf.  Before blogging at Yahoo!, he was one of the many sports bloggers plugging away at independent sites throughout the web.

Back in early 2008, I sent Jay a bunch of questions about independent sports blogging, the mainstream media, and the voice of the common fan. He was kind enough to answer, and now, nearly two years later, I've decided to publish his answers. Sorry about that, Jay.

When did you start blogging? Why?

I started throwing some thoughts up on my own personal site around the end of 2004. Nothing special there, just a bit of ranting, reviewing, and pimping whatever I'd published at the moment. I didn't start a sports blog until October 2006, when I launched Sports Gone South. It was the confluence of multiple events, I was at something of a career crossroads, looking for a new angle on sportswriting; I'd just discovered Deadspin; and my agent and I were discussing how I should start raising my profile and creating more of a "brand name" for myself. I'd written the same way I write now on sports blogs for years; I used to do a game-picking column in college that was the same sort of riffing, using sports as a jumping-off point for whatever I felt like ranting about. So, part of starting blogging was for fun, and part was a (theoretically) canny career move. So far, so good; Sports Gone South led to a paying gig writing Right Down Peachtree, Atlanta magazine's Atlanta-only sports blog. (RIP RDP, ed.)

Did you have any goals going into starting a blog, or was it primarily self-serving?

The goals at the beginning were pretty amorphous - get my name out there isn't exactly a coherent business plan, you know? But once I got rolling on it, I started seeing what was possible out there. There's no major sports blog devoted exclusively to Southern sports, so that's what I'm working toward. What I think we're seeing now is more of a niche, narrowcasting sort of approach. Blogs are taking a single mission - a single sport, a single team, a single aspect of the sporting universe - and becoming the established new-media expert on that sector. I think that's going to be the best way to distinguish yourself going for ward; generalists can just get lost in the mix.

How would describe the mainstream media's coverage of sports prior to you starting a blog?

Top-down. Not that it has anything whatsoever to do with my blog, but the mainstream sports media, like the political media, is realizing that fans/readers aren't idiots, and in many cases possess more expertise than the often self-proclaimed "experts". It's not enough to give the scores alone, but if you want to go blathering on about some topic, you'd best be sure you've got something to say. I think the anonymity of the Internet gives bloggers an inherent distaste for the mindless self-promotion of certain media types. It's the logical, though nauseating, outgrowth of New Journalism, where the journalist himself affects (and, in some cases, becomes) the story. The problem is, when the journalist in question isn't particularly interesting, or doesn't have much to say, you're going to see readers clamoring for a return to the story itself - which is what blogs do.

Did MSM sports coverage have any effect on your idea to start a blog?

Indirectly. I think I started it right after one of the massively overhyped Red Sox-Yankees series - it was a regular-season one, not even a playoff - and I, like most of the rest of America west of the Hudson, was saying, "Enough of this crap. It's a good rivalry, but it's not the ONLY rivalry." So my initial blog tagline was, "Really, haven't we heard enough about the Yankees and Red Sox?" The problem with MSM, as with any powerful medium, is that the medium dictates the message. A bloop single in Yankee Stadium gets infused with more drama than a game-winning three-run homer in Tropicana Field. And that's wrong, friends, wrong on so many levels.

What do you think made sports blogging popular?

It's the old "sports bar" motif - when you're at a sports bar, you want to talk, you don't want to sit and listen to someone talk AT you. You want to rant, rave, joke, whine, laugh, the whole range of emotions. Blogs let you do that, and the best of 'em allow readers to find like-minded folks and form a mini-community that assesses sports and life without having to be told THIS IS AN IMPORTANT GAME by some outside entity. Fight the power, man!

Are you surprised at all with the growth of the sports blogging community?

Not a bit. I think it'll only grow as non-blogger-types start to realize, hey, there's some cool stuff on this here Internet! I'm always amazed at how few people, relatively speaking, actually read sports blogs. I get links from Deadspin or whatever, and it's a couple thousand hits at best. Then I get a link from Sports Illustrated, and it's SEVENTY THOUSAND hits. And even that doesn't encompass the entire fanbase, much of which is content to watch the games alone. Once blogging becomes more of a mainstream medium, not just in sports but in all media, you'll see even more exponential growth.

What is more important to a blogger's success: ease of technology (publishing, voice, etc) or quality of content?

I'd actually add "voice" as a third category to that question. It's not enough to have something good to say, it has to be stated effectively in a blogging format: fast and funny/sharp/witty. But yes, you've got to have a quality presentation - courier font on a white background doesn't cut it anymore. You need the mix of pictures, video, and content to keep the attention of the masses.

In the end, though, I think you have to have quality content to go the farthest. People will call you out if you screw up stats or mischaracterize their team - try talking trash about the Kentucky Wildcats and see what happens, for instance - so you'd better know your stuff.

How important is it to capture the voice of the "common" sports fan?

Not very. Matter of fact, I don't think there is such a thing as the "common" sports fan. Some are interested in stats, others in stories, others in rumors. I don't think there's this amorphous mass of fans out there with one common voice or perspective. As with any creative endeavor, it's essential you tell your own story in your own words. Write what you like, and the money (and readers) will follow. That's an oversimplification, of course; you could write all day long about Mesopotamian kickball if you wanted and you probably still wont get many readers. But if you try to follow trends "hey, let's talk about how the Patriots are like Britney Spears!?" your posts are going to be dead on arrival.

Do you think blogging has changed the presentation of sports coverage by the MSM in the last 5 years? If so, how?

Absolutely. We've knocked athletes off their pedestals, and that's a good thing. Take a look at the way Fox Sports presents games now - you practically want to douse yourself in holy water and bow before the icons of Favre and Jeter. But these guys are idiots just like the rest of us - probably more so than the rest of us. Of course, the end result of this idol-knocking is paparazzi, so maybe that's not a good thing. But I don't think as many people WORSHIP athletes anymore, and that's a good thing.

Could you call sports blogging a "revolution"? If so, has it succeeded? What needs to be done?

Absolutely, it's a revolution. Real-time reaction to events, the elevation of the fan, it's all useful. The problem is that there's still an ingrained distrust of blogging in general - some from MSM journalists who perceive a threat or don't want to deal with the added competition, some from readers who just don't realize the level of talent that's out there in the blogosphere. But what you'll see in coming years is columnists and editors who grew up reading Deadspin and blogs, and don't see it as "the new thing" but as just another element of the sports landscape. Bloggers will get credentials to games, and other fans will realize that blogging isn't just pajama'd freaks in their mom's basements.

Interview with Brian Spaeth: Screenwriter, Producer, Writer

Within every community, there are people that stand out. People who take the norm and stretch it, flip it, bounce it, turn it on it's head, and make people question their own ideas in collective confusion. Anyone can enter a community, but it takes the gifted among them to make it interesting.

That said, I am not sure my latest interviewee does that. Actually, I am not sure what he does. He is a factory of ideas, although he sometimes makes people wonder if the foreman is permanently out to lunch.

Of course, I have my biases. My latest interview is someone I have corresponded with for a few years. An e-migo*, if you will. I first discovered Brian Spaeth as a lot of bloggers did, when he was writing for the unique blog YAYSports! NBA. As his screenwriting career turned into a leading role in his first film, Who Shot Mamba?, Brian allowed me and several other bloggers to blog for him at YAYSports. There are several of you out there who discovered me through my time as a substitute Yay blogger. Without a doubt, it was one of my stepping stones towards world domination.

(e-migo (n): “Friends you don’t really know but keep up with via email and Internet social Web sites”. Made semi-popular by writer Joe Posnanski, 2009.)

Then sometime last year, Brian pulled the plug on YAYSports NBA and started blogging over at Mad Props To Baked Potatoes. There he started a writing career, using the blog to promote his two books, Prelude To A Super Airplane and Brad Radby’s Brad Radby (The Complete Filmography 1999-2023). And that's where we are today.

So to conclude my trilogy of interviews, I decided to send Brian a few questions to try and find out what makes him tick and what's next for one of the blogosphere's most creatively eccentric personalities.

The Serious Tip: Define yourself. What are you? Blogger? Screenwriter? Actor? Writer? Social media philosopher?

Brian Spaeth: Well, my Twitter profile says I’m an actor/screenwriter/producer, but probably not in that order.

I’d say I’m actually a screenwriter/producer/actor, would rather be an actor/producer/screenwriter, but would probably function best as a producer/actor/screenwriter.

I’m definitely not a social media philosopher – I talk a good game, but barely function within that world. I do blog, but I’ve never considered myself like a “blogger” as some sort of profession or pursuit. It’s just something I do. The success of my third blog, YAYsports!, was largely an accident, and not something I would or could ever try and replicate.

TST: So why are you more interesting than the other Brian Spaeths, or should I have interviewed them instead?

The one who makes bionic limbs is probably the one you should’ve gone for. I’m the most interesting Brian Spaeth largely because I have declared it so, and for no other reason.

My biggest pet peeve is when people pronounce “pictures” as “pitchers”. I think this is common in the South – apologies if I’ve insulted anyone you know. I used to pronounce “pillow” as “pellow” until a girlfriend pointed it out, and now I go probably too far with my pronunciation of the “i” sound.

TST: What's new with Brian Spaeth?

My new book, Brad Radby’s Brad Radby (The Complete Filmography 1999-2023). It ties into my first book, Prelude to a Super Airplane, and also ties into my third book. All the books tie into each other.

The Radby book is largely movie parodies, with an underlying narrative that is actually quite intricate. It’s also completely free to download, or to read online in blog format.

In my personal life, there’s nothing new, but I taught my nieces to say EASTER IN YOUR FACE whenever anyone mentions Easter, and also that everyone in Michigan is sad all the time. They just turned three, so if you ask them about Michigan, they say things like “nobody’s car starts there” or “they don’t have toys in Michigan” in really sad voices. It’s all very cute and hilarious.

TST: What came first: blogger or screenwriter? And do they complement each other in any way? Or are they completely different?

I was a screenwriter long before I had a blog. My first blog actually came about because of my screenwriting, but that’s not an interesting story at all.

I’d say the latter definitely informs and feeds the former. A blog gives me the ability to throw a bunch of stuff at a virtual wall and see what sticks. All my best original ideas in recent years have come from my blog – sometimes this is in a big way, other times it’s just a little thing that inspires something altogether different later on.

TST: Why do you think you are so popular on these Internets? Especially considering your coup de grace has been seen by fewer people than Gigli.

I’m not popular at all – this is a myth I perpetuate in order to make myself feel good. Like I said, the whole YAYsports! thing was an accident. I have no clue how to market myself online. It’s largely a mystery to me how certain things become popular and others don’t.

TST: So do you think other bloggers should take a leap into other forms of media? Or do you think what you have done is just not worth the trouble for other bloggers?

Sure, if they want to, and if they can.

I mean, I didn’t really “take a leap” from blogging to something else. I just kinda do what I do. If you’d told me in November that I’d have written two books by the end of March, with a third one half complete, I would’ve been like, “Huh?”

If people want advice on life, I’m probably the worst person on Earth to listen to. I’m completely erratic, emotionally juvenile, and stubbornly refuse to do anything in the form or fashion that’s established as traditional. The twist is that I’m completely self-aware about this, which is the only reason I’m considered eccentric, as opposed to insane.

Here’s the other twist – people who meet me in person often feel a need to express their surprise that I’m pretty much a normal person to be around.

Seriously though – this is an amazing time for people in creative pursuits, because you can cultivate and reach your audience directly. Do everything you can do, and do it well, and do it today.

TST: What are the last five movies you saw, in order of worst to best?

5) Knowing
4) Watchmen
3) The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
2) Red Dawn
1) Slumdog Millionaire

TST: Who are your influences in screenwriting? Acting? Writing? Comedy?

I typically find I’m influenced more by material than people, but just totally random off the top of my head: Steve Martin, Bruce Willis, Airplane!, the Pixar films, Back to the Future, my dad and brother, Scheller Harrison, and my biggest influence is probably Marvel comic books of the late 1980s and early 90s.

TST: Have you ever received a Christmas card from (Cleveland Cavalier's Head Coach) Mike Brown? Would you accept one from him? Why or why not?

Yeah, I’ve come around on Mike Brown. He finally got an offensive coordinator this year, which is what I’d been saying he should do since the second week of his first season. Congrats to him and Ferry and Gilbert for sticking to it and finding a way that works.

TST: If LeBron James were the Prime Minister of the World, and he met with extraterrestrial beings from the planet Hartoonia who just happened to visit Earth in search of LeBron Fatheads, what would LeBron say?

“Thank you for these gifts. In return, I shall give you my greatest secret, and that is my inability to count out loud past the number forty-six. This is now your burden, and I am free. Welcome to Earf.”

Michael James Nelson: The Interview

I am always amazed by the lives of people I have known throughout the years. I am the type of person who is always curious as to what other people are up to these days. Who has an interesting job? Who is in a third world country saving kids from malaria? Who is still working at McDonald's? Of course, myspace and Facebook have made finding old peers, former classmates, long lost friends, forgotten relatives, unknown friends of friends, departed neighbors, neglected associates, and all other categories of people much easier.

A few months ago, I looked up ("Googled", searched for, etc) several of my former co-writers from my time at the Florida State newspaper. I found out one became a writer for defense news in D.C., another works for a public relations firm in New York City, and a few are no longer writing. Then there is Michael James Nelson, who is currently living in Los Angeles and working as a comedy writer, producer, and comedian (hence the title of the post). (He even has a Wikipedia page!)

After much cajoling, convincing, and sending of payments, I convinced Michael to do an emailed Q&A for The Serious Tip. Perfect timing too, as he will be making an appearance on The Oxygen Network's "Pretty Wicked" on Tuesday, April 14th at 10p.m. (yes, that's a plug). So read the interview and then check him out during the upcoming week.

So who is Michael James Nelson?

Michael James Nelson: I am someone that was in jail; actually, I was locked in a cage. I thought my life was over, but then a couple Dwarfs came by, they called themselves Nelwyns. Anyway, one of these Dwarfs was carrying a baby and he said that he had to return the baby to a “Dakini.” Whatever, I grabbed the baby and set off on adventure that would lead me to Nockmaar Castle -- along the way I become infatuated with this chick named Sorsha who had major issues with her mother, Bavmorda -- and then I found myself in Los Angeles doing comedy.

How did you get into comedy/comedy writing?

MJN: I have wanted to be a comedian every since I was in pre-school. But I was terrified at the thought of going up on stage and doing jokes. So, sometime around my first year of high school, I started writing stand-up material, but never even entertained the idea of presenting it to anyone. I was, to say the least, a very shy person. But one night during my senior year of college I organized a bunch of material and snuck away to go to an open mic night on campus. I told absolutely no one. I remember shaking violently right up to the point where they called my name and the audience started applauding. I even vomited in a trash can back stage. It was the scariest moment of my life. I then wiped my mouth and walked on stage and proceeded to do five minutes and I do not remember a single second of it. Afterwards, I think the audience gave me a courtesy applause and I wondered off stage, in a daze, trying to figure out what just happened.

I snapped out of it when a guy tapped my on the back. He introduced himself and said he was a booker for a show off-campus and he wanted me to headline a show that was to happen the following month. Now, I had no idea what headlining meant. I thought it might be the guy that takes the stage at the end of the show and does five minutes while everyone pays their check and leaves, so based on that false definition, I said yes.

Three weeks went by and I called the guy to confirm the show and he said we were all set. Then, I asked him how much time he wanted me to do, expecting him to say that the five minute set he had seen at the open mic would be plenty, but he said 50 minutes to fifty-five minutes would be just fine. I about fainted and vomited and cried and ran away at the same time. I had now idea the headliner was the main attraction. We hung up and for that week I scrambled to write anything I could that might get a laugh or even a chuckle. I even skipped my classes to stay focused. Then, that night came. The house was packed with hundreds of people and there I was back stage, having only done a five-minute open mic show prior. As each comedian went up, each doing around ten minutes, I started having a panic attack. I was totally falling apart. My shirt was already soaked with sweat. I was drinking so much just to kill my nerves. And then, my name was called, the audience applauded, and I walked on stage and did fifty minutes nonstop. I remember the entire show. I remember getting laughs the entire time. I remember the audience roaring with laughter. And I remember being up there and thinking to myself, “This is it. This is what I am supposed to do with my life. I’m a comedian.”

What are you doing professionally these days?

MJN: I am a comedy writer, producer and performer in Los Angeles. I have written for MTV and ABC and a bunch of networks. I wrote for National Lampoon for a while and I wrote a show for Nick Cannon. I do stand up every week and this April I will make an appearance on the television show “Pretty Wicked” on the Oxygen Network. I also write feature films, sketches, and hilarious bar mitzvah speeches.

Funniest thing that ever happened to you at FSU?

MJN: Hmm, funniest thing… that is a tough one. I had a blast at FSU. There are way too many hilarious moments to sort through and then to find “the one” is almost impossible. But, one that comes to mind is when my best friend fell of a balcony and hit his head and had to get stitches. We all dressed up in costumes and were partying on a balcony. We had been drinking since early afternoon. We started throwing stuff of the balcony and cheering. Then, he threw a huge sign over the side and ended up going over with it. We were only one story up, but he did fall and hit his head. So, we took him to the hospital (a whole separate story for another time about how we had to hitch hike to get to there) and while he was getting stitches, there were at least fifteen of us in the waiting room, all of us still drunk and in our costumes. Although a little scary at the time, now that I look back, all of us in the waiting room dressed in the most random costumes, I can’t help but laugh. What a long, funny night.

Are you the greatest comedian/comedy writer in FSU history?

MJN: Hahaha. I do know other guys that came out of FSU and they are very funny and they do comedy. But, when I was doing my sketch comedy show (That Show With Those Guys) while I was at FSU, we were always told that it was the funniest show to have ever aired on the network. And not only did they air old episodes of the show years after I graduated, but there were also spin-off shows. I have always been very proud of that. I don’t think I am ready to claim greatest comedian in FSU history, but that would be cool if that day came.

If I remember right, the Spring 2003 valedictorian gave you a shout-out. Did you know that was coming? How did you react to the instant fame that presented?

MJN: Hahaha. That was insane! I had been told before the graduation ceremony that I was going to be mentioned during the speech, but I didn’t think it would be to that degree. He practically made his speech about me moving out to Los Angeles and becoming a comedian. Hahaha! It was Jim Davis that put me in his speech and he was president of the senior class. I know Jim and there is no way he was valedictorian! But, he did his speech during that humongous graduation ceremony and he did talk about me and I have always thought that was so cool. I was happy that he could pull inspiration from the crazy dream I had in my head.

Who are your comedic influences? Why?

MJN: I would have to say that Bill Cosby has influenced me a great deal. I remember lying in bed, listening to his stories dreaming of having that ability to tell a story like he does. The characters, the humor, another reality, it is all there. I think I have always strived to convey a sense of story and comedy like he does. But, probably the most influential comedians for me have been Howard Stern and David Letterman. They are the reason I got into this business and I still watch them in awe. I remember being a kid and memorizing Letterman’s monologues. And when I was in college, Tallahassee didn’t have the Stern Show on any stations. So, I would have my mom record the show and mail me the tapes. I was obsessed.

Do you ever feel "not funny"? Like have you ever told a joke and no one laughed?

MJN: Hell motha f’in yes. There are days that I wake up and don’t feel funny at all. Cerebrally, I could be laughing my ass off - anything crossing my mind is funny to me. But, there are times that I can’t convey that comedy to anyone in anyway at anytime. Maybe it is because I am tired or stressed out or my mind is somewhere else… who knows. And as far as ever telling a joke and no one laughs… oh yes. That has happened many times and it will continue to happen for the rest of my life. It happens to everyone. I have seen Chris Rock bomb a couple jokes. There is no comedian out there that hasn’t bombed a joked. It is impossible not to bomb. And funny enough, bombing is where you grow the most and where you become stronger as a comedian and it is a very important part of the process.

Your Alicia Keys video is hilarious. Has that ever happened to you?

MJN: Hahahaha. That was a random idea I had when her song started playing in my car. I started free styling the phone call on the spot and when I got home, I wrote it out and shot it a week later. However, for the past five years I have been getting calls from some random corporation that thinks they are calling their IT guy. I guess my phone number is one digit different then the number they are trying to dial and I have learned that their IT guy has the same name as I and the first time they called me I answered and they asked for “Mike” and I said “speaking.” They then told me that at 2pm I needed to show a group of investors around the building and explain our computer network and explain how it is setup. They wanted me to put a power point together just so they could get a visual sense of how it all works. I was a production assistant at the time out on an office supply run. I started freaking out because I had no idea what they were talking about. I thought maybe I was supposed to know the setup of the network and started franticly wracking my brain for anything I might have been told about our computer network. I agreed that I would show the investors around and then hung up the phone.

I got back to the office and started putting together a power point presentation, guessing how the network was set up. I got about one page into the power point show and then decided to tell my boss that I had no idea how the network operated. She looked at me like I was insane. So, for the past five years, they have continually called me and left me messages about all the computer problems happening around their office. I have never returned their call to tell them that they are dialing the wrong number and have the wrong “Mike”, but I think that the next time they call I will finally break the news to them. That would be hilarious if my calling them back and breaking the news were to solve this gigantic company mystery that has caused people to get fired and investors to pull their funds. What if my not coming clean is the reason we are in a recession? Now I feel guilty.

So would you really turn down Alicia Keys?

MJN: No. I think she is hot and hopefully one day she will call me with any computer network issues she may be experiencing.

I have this theory about comedians. I think if I introduce you to someone and say "This is Michael, he is a comedian", that person will automatically think whatever you say is funny. They will laugh by default. True or false?

MJN: Ugh, no way. If I am introduced like that, people always say, “Say something funny.” It sucks. I decline and the conversation goes on and then, if I don’t say anything funny they will say, “You aren’t funny. How can you be a comedian?” I guess it comes with the territory. I guess people need to understand that being onstage and offstage are two different things that spawn night-and-day mentalities and emotions and thoughts and personas. And most comedians I know are quiet off stage and aren’t that funny when you just stand around and chat. I once talked with Robin Williams before a show and he was very reserved and not trying to be funny at all. Same with Dane Cook, I hung out with him and we talked for an hour and he was quiet and not that funny. But both were very nice people. In my dealings, comedians are usually pretty serious people that observe everything around them. I may not sit there and crack jokes, but I am always observing and breaking things down and thinking of ways to make stuff funny. I just might be quiet as I do it around you. To avoid all of this, when I am out-and-about, I just tell people that I am a plumber.

What does the future hold for you? What do you hope it holds?

MJN: I have no idea, but that is what is so exciting about this town. In Hollywood, one day can completely change your life and all of your dreams come true. But, you can’t really think about that or strive for that. You just have to do what makes you happy, enjoy life, stay grounded, and if that day comes, it comes. For me, my ultimate goal is to have my own television show… just like I had in college. That has always been my focus.

Where can people find out more about you?

MJN: People can visit www.michaelnelsoncomedy.com or go to YouTube and search Michael James Nelson. Anything other than that would be considered stalking and shame on you.

Who would you like to give a shout-out to?

MJN: I would like to give a shout-out to Jim Davis… listen buddy, you didn’t make valedictorian, but damn it, we are all still very proud of you.

Meet a Bartender: New Staff Edition

JORDI

Real Name: Jordi?

Where are you now?
Tampa, FL

Favorite Sports Teams:
New York Mets, Tampa Bay Rays, Brevard County Manatees, Florida State Seminoles

Favorite Current Player(s):
Kerry Wood (token Cub), Tim Wakefield, R.A. Dickey, Prince Fielder (calm down, he went to my HS), Tim Lincecum, all LOOGYs.

Favorite All-Time Player(s):
Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish, Rusty Kuntz, Howard Johnson, Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez.

Memorable encounters with MLB players:
When I was 10 I went to a spring training game, got myself a hot dog, lathered it up in mustard appropriately, when ex-Met Roger McDowell came up alongside me and said "Excuse me." Well, of course, I moved out of the way.

Then like twenty years later I crashed the 2006 General Managers meeting in a Disney hotel. I met or saw Tommy Lasorda, Ozzie Guillen, Cal Ripken, Jim Leyland, Darryl Hamilton, Bryan Harvey, and Scott Boras. I hate Scott Boras.

Player(s) you'd sit and have a beer with:
Joel Zumaya, Nolan Ryan, Ralph Kiner, Billy Brewer, Roy Hobbs, Rube Waddell (do they have to be living?), Hack Wilson, Ty Cobb, and J.O. Sampson.

Player(s) you absolutely despise:
Bobby Bonilla, Chipper Jones, Kenny Rogers, Vince Coleman

Best baseball video game of all-time:
I am going to go with Little League Baseball for the NES. Just slightly over Basewars. Yeah, I haven't played much video games since the reign of George the Elder.

So whatcha drinkin? This being a saloon and all:
La Fin Du Monde. It's French for The End of The World. Before you get your panties in a bunch that you let in someone who speak a wee bit of Francais, rest easy. La Fin is brewed in the mean streets of Canada. Probably in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

What about Beecake?
Never much of a fan. Until he did the Barbershop and Shawn Michaels kicked Marty Jenetty through the glass window. Or like when he got in that motorcycle accident and smashed his face into a million pieces. Wait, B-e-e-c-a-k-e? I don't know no Beecake, I thought you were talking about Brutus "The Barber".

Favorite sports card(s) you own:
Sorry. I was fortunate enough to sell my cards and have them pay for my college education. Oh, you didn't do that? What, no one wants your eighteen 1993 Mike Piazza Topps regular edition rookie card? Sucks to be you.

Ketchup on a hot dog. Yay or nay?
You don't put ketchup on a hot dog. That's like putting the Spicy Brown on a steak.

Who do you consider your nemesis?
The Man. Somma bich constantly holding me down. One day I'm gonna stick it to The Man and give The Man some whatfor. Oh, and Bryan Maddox.

If you could be any movie character, who would it be?
Elliot Richards in Bedazzled. Or Joe Dirt.

Favorite thing you've written for TMS?
Well, due to process of elimination, it would have to be this. Either that or a comment. I do like to bring the humor in the comments. Yeah, remember that one comment? Yeah, that was cool.

Thing you've written you're most ashamed of?
Dear Thunder Matt Crew,

I am just starting my own blog. I found yours and thought it was really funny. Can you give me any pointers?

*This is referring to an email Jordi sent us nearly two years ago asking for advice. Because we being a 6 month old blog obviously had all the answers. I still have that email saved but I'll spare him the embarrassment of posting it here.

Interview with US Presidential Candidate Mark Graham

Every four years, Americans are given a choice. A choice that determines who will represent them and lead their nation. Unfortunately, the leading American presidential candidates are often pre-determined by media conglomerates and corporate interests.

This year many frustrated Americans have announced their candidacy and are running in the 2008 US Presidential Election. These independent candidates are using every platform available in an attempt to break the mainstream media's stranglehold on popular candidate selection.

With the common goal of giving the masses an alternate option, it is only natural bloggers should extend their small corner of the Internet to independent presidential candidates. After finding a complete list of candidates on Politics1.com, The Serious Tip contacted local Florida candidate Mark B. Graham and asked for an interview. Mr. Graham was kind enough to respond.

The Serious Tip: Who is Mark Graham?

Mark B. Graham: Well, Mark Graham is 47, lives in Florida over 30 years. Married with 3 loving children. And was a youth coach in football and baseball in Okeechobee. Goes to the Methodist church. Also he is a hard working man who loves hobbies like fishing, hunting, and playing golf.

TST: Why run for president?

MBG: The reason I am running for President: I am tired of the Republicans and Democrats parties saying they are for every American in the United States. My Vision as an independent president: get elected by and serving you the American voters, not the political parties. My goal is to help the people of the United States.

TST: What did you have to do to become a candidate?

MBG: Well, first i had to meet the requirments of becoming president

The age of 36 and older

Born in the United States

Then I wrote to (FEC) Federal Election Commission and requested form STATEMENT OF CANDIDACY fill out and return to FEC

TST: What are your expectations as we enter the last few months before the election?

MBG: My expectations the last few months before are to get the word out about my campaign and show the people of the United States there is a third choice for President that can cover all the issues to work toward a better America.

TST: What type of campaigning have you done?

MBG: Well I have Campaign on the World Wide Web. Also have done a few radio shows also signs and fliers (ed note: Mark B. Graham is also on YouTube and Myspace.)

TST: What has been your biggest challenge?

MBG: Well my biggest challenges in 2008 is the Media. They dont want to give full coverage all the Candidates running for President in 2008.

TST: Being that I have written quite a bit on sports, what is your position on sports-related political issues such as steroid abuse in baseball, the Olympics in China, etc?

MBG: I feel that as a nation we try to show the world we are the best in sports and we must strive not to get a black eye from people striving to make money from steroid use in Baseball and Football. As one of the Nations around this world the Olympics is for the best athletes.

TST: Have you yet decided on a running mate?

MBG: No, not yet

TST: How can someone join the Mark Graham movement?

MBG: Well there is many ways to join the Mark Graham movenment. First www.markbgraham2008.com or you can e-mail me at markbgraham2008@yahoo.com.

Please remember to sign my petition on my web site www.markbgraham2008.com.

TST: Who are you going to vote for in November?

MBG: Mark B. Graham