Afro-Squad wrestling figures smashing through your town

How cool is this?

My friend Snowman Jones at @911wrestling on Instagram and tiktok created old school wrestling figures of the #afrosquad.

That's Snowman on the right, KrazyMan on the left, and me, afro-clad Jordi Scrubbings in the back, bringing the attack with an apple. Or is it a pear? Whatever it is, these figures are rare.

Although we don't afro it up as much anymore, sometimes you can still find me donning the afro wig and keeping it funky, fighting The Man. And now I am in figure form. 

I made it, ma!

Curveball at the Crossroads featured on Elite Demonstrations

 

My good friend Adam from 911Studios has a channel on Amazon called Elite Demonstrations. Adam hosts a show regularly on Amazon where he demonstrates products, from vacuum cleaners to Christmas trees. Adam talks about it all. And he often offers amazing deals on these products exclusive to his channel.

A few days ago, Adam was kind enough to include Curveball at the Crossroads in his carousel of products. He spent a few minutes talking about the book and provided a link to the new ebook available on Amazon.

(Disclaimer: I gave Adam a physical copy of Curveball at the Crossroads because he likes baseball and is a friend of mine. Since however, he has made a youtube review for the book that has nearly 7,000 views and offered it on Amazon. I am lucky to have friends who support my work.)

You can watch Adam's Elite Demonstrations video where he discusses Curveball at the Crossroads here:

A Very Macho Christmas Party! Trees, Electronics, Gifts - Elite Demonstrations, Amazon

  

The Man as defined by CrazyMan of the AfroSquad

My Modern Social Theory- "The Man"
by: Crazy-Man

"The Man" is an intangible bugaboo that masterminds the hardships and tragedies of that thing we call life. Being technologically superior, he can morph into anything he wants- your boss, the local authorities, the president, your parents, a lawyer, the guy that signs your inadequate paycheck, etc. You can use that last sentence as a mad-lib for added effect.

When you work 13 hours, come home at 8:00PM to realize that you locked your key in the apartment- blame it on "The Man"- because he made you do it. When it takes another 2.5 hours to get some scab to open your apartment door for you- blame it on "The Man"- it is all his fault. When the scab requires 20 bucks to open your apartment door, beat the crap out of the scab, because he is "The Man". But defiling the scab/"Man" apparition will be to no avail because, by the time your finished teaching the scab 'the true meaning of sorrow', "The Man" will be somewhere else already- probably stealing your loved one's monogamy.

But don't be fooled, "The Man" can be in multiple places at once just as easily as you eat a Twinkie in just four bites. He can simultaneously be controlling the red stoplight you run, in his secret hideout faxing your brain the endorphins that result in deviance, AND in the cop car that catches you do it.

Tragically enough- our modern society would not exist were it not for "The Man".

Let's outline a single "Man" scenario. It starts with the workplace- something common to almost everyone. First, "he" assumes the role of your boss. You have to work superhuman hours to keep your job. You are not paid enough to live the life "he" puts on your TV (excluding The Simpsons and Married With Children- these are actually documentaries on reality, but you think they are "comedies"). You can only afford to eat food prepared in less than 8 minutes. Enter McDonald's and Taco Bell. These generate more jobs where "he" is still your boss. "The Man" sprinkles saturated fats, cholesterols, and carcinogens into the menus. Heart disease and cancer become commonplace. Since "he" uses all of your time for unrewarded grunt work, computers are implemented into his 'toolbox of terror' in hopes of squeezing all the productivity out of your cellulite that he can. Entertainment such as the internet is added to computers so that you will waste half a year's pay to have one in your home. "He" gratuitously distributes hard drive failures, Microsoft products, lightning, and the ability to go obsolete in just one week. "He" assumes the role of that voluptuous member of the opposite sex that you meet one Friday night. While breaking the ice, your contraceptive fails and you get AIDS.

Now you know. Sorry, but the truth is out there, and its name is "The Man"

Before there was AfroSquad there was ANUS

Agent Jordi Scrubbings of the AfroSquad formerly worked with an organization called the Alien Neutralizing Underground Society (ANUS) - not to be confused with the AfroSquad News Underground Syndicate (ANUS). ANUS's mission was to protect the universe against intergalatic threats, such as the Hartoonians and the Head Alien (please see the movie Flash Vs The Aliens for more on that earth-saving conflict).

In 2002, Agent Scrubbings was instructed to inform the worldwide media on the status of ANUS following massive US Government restructuring efforts in 2001. There were rumors and speculation that ANUS would join Homeland Security or one of the Intelligence Agencies, possibly the Agency for Superterrestrial Suppression (ASS) or the Bureau of Undisclosed Terrestrial Terror (BUTT). This memo, recently rediscovered squashed the rumors, stifled the innuendos, and stopped the prognostication.

A Brief History of The Man

This blog has chronicled the adventures of the AfroSquad for over 10 years. One of the original concepts behind the AfroSquad, before the wrestling and before the comedy, was a struggle against The Man.

But what is The Man? How long have people been fighting The Man?

According to the AfroSquad,

"The Man" is an intangible bugaboo that masterminds the hardships and tragedies of that thing we call life. Being technologically superior, he can morph into anything he wants- your boss, the local authorities, the president, your parents, a lawyer, the guy that signs your inadequate paycheck, etc."

The AfroSquad was highly influenced by the blaxplotation films of the the 1970s. But The Man goes back further than that. Much further.

The Oxford Dictionary of American Political Slang does a great job of detailing all the early mentions of The Man on page 173.

In the 1960s, The Man moved from Southern and Black Etymology to a more wider use. White counterculture also used the term to discuss their frustration with authority.  While Yippies and others diminished the racial and historical context, fighting The Man became a universal effort. This change is well described in The Age of the Crisis of Man: Thought and Fiction in America, 1933–1973 by Mark Greif, pages 269-272.

While fighting The Man had become universal, The Man moved to black cinema as the omnipotent antagonist in blaxplotation films. According to museumofuncutfunk.com

"During the 1970’s the term “The Man” became a part of the vernacular of the Blaxploitation film era. “The Man” referred to the police, the mob, the politicians and anyone who was white with power. In most cases “The Man” held the key to the destruction or redemption of Black characters in these films."

After blaxploitation films, The Man slowly diminished from use as a negative term. It started being used as a positive term such as "You are The Man." 

In the late 90s, the AfroSquad started doing their thing in the early internet.

Then, in 2002, The Man had a renaissance in cinema with the movie Undercover Brother. Comedian Eddie Griffin’s character took on a faceless Man who ran an omnipotent multi-national corporation and made life difficult for a diverse group of heroes.

Currently, there is news that Undercover Brother 2 will soon see the light of day. Will the antagonist be The Man?

The Man is still out there, and still holding people down. We should never forget the original meaning and absolute power of The Man.

When COBRA tried to blow up Florida Championship Wrestling

This was a fun video made by SnowMan of the Afro-Squad from our days attending Florida Championship Wrestling (now NXT) in Tampa. Good times, and by the way, SnowMan is a cinematic genius.

I think this video was supposed to be a prequel to another video we did in which I have a bigger role.

The Serious Tip AfroSquad Commercial

With the relaunch of this website, I thought it only fitting to dust off a old commercial for this site filmed by the AfroSquad.



There is still no stock market information here.

Essentials for a perfect blaxploitation film

From an LA Times article that is no longer online (author unknown at this time):

Stick it to The Man: Black paranoia is usually right in there. There’s usually this conspiratorial thing that The Man is plotting your doom. There’s a lot of real blaxploitation movies that involve a plot to exterminate black people. It’s a constant storyline. In these movies, white people spend 95% of their time coming up with plots against black people.

White people by the pool: Every one of those [’70s blaxploitation flicks] depicted white people beside a swimming pool. We actually had that scene, but we cut it. A lot of times they were older character actors.

Speed over quality: A lot of the time you had your money and you were getting this movie done no matter what. In ‘Black Caesar,’ an actor had a mike cord wrapped around his leg in one shot, but they just kept going. Stuff stays in the movie. They had one, maybe two takes, so if the boom mike snuck in there, they left it.

Vietnam: The blaxploitation era sprung out of the post-Vietnam time, where the brothers were not treated right in Vietnam and they came back to no jobs. A lot of the heroes were cats who came from Vietnam and had soldier-type skills that they used to take down The Man or clear the streets of drugs.

Ex-football players: In blaxploitation, an ex-football player was automatically an actor. He was the equivalent of the rapper today. There was even a movie called ‘Black Six’ that was just six football players and that was how they advertised it. They even sold the players’ team position in the trailer.

Sex: The movies were always sexually charged. It was the ’70s and the sexual revolution time.

Kung fu: Martial arts is a big thing in blaxploitation movies and that [includes a] love affair with kung fu. A lot of the blaxploitation heroes didn’t know kung fu, but they wanted to try the moves anyway.

The awkward love scene: These football players were told to act all tender with a woman on camera and they always seemed uncomfortable. When they had these moments, you could see them pushing to get there.

The convenient back story: Anything you wanted the hero to be, he was. The CIA was in the story? The hero used to be in the CIA. Orphans were in trouble? The hero had been an orphan.

The exploding car off a cliff: Cars always exploded for no reason.

Bad physics: When somebody got shot, they would often fall the wrong direction.

Random theater actors: You had really terrible actors alongside these theater actors trying to be drug dealers, but they’d over-enunciate everything.

When the AfroSquad almost made Creative Loafing

I was rummaging through some old emails recently and I found an interesting correspondence. Back in 2008, when the Afro-Squad was running wild at pro wrestling shows throughout Central Florida, I emailed a writer for Tampa alternative publication Creative Loafing and invited him to check us out. I thought our colorful cast of characters and devoted fans would make an interesting story.

Alas, although they liked the idea, the story never came to be. The writer moved on as did Florida Championship Wrestling. Most of the Afro-Squad also moved on, some actually moving and others removing their afro wigs and drifting away, like small sailboats in the dark night.

But for the annuals of history, here is the correspondence I had with Creative Loafing:

December 1, 2008

Hi Jordi,

My name is xxxxxxx -- I am the staff writer for the Creative Loafing
newspaper here in Tampa. I was forwarded an e-mail you sent us about your
wild wrestling group. I took a look at the site and -- yep -- you definitely
fit our paper ;-)

I'd love to come to a Thursday meet up and see what your group is all about.
When are they? And what's a good date?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best,

My reply:

December 2, 2008

xxxxxx,

We would definitely like to meet with you. We meet regularly at the Florida Championship Wrestling (FCW) show on Thursday night at 7:30pm. FCW is located at 4535 South Dale Mabry, Tampa, FL 33611. We will probably be there between 6:30-7pm. You should be able to recognize us by our afro wigs.

Of note, FCW regularly does TV tapings for broadcasts on cable TV. These tapings usually draw a larger crowd (hence more people in afros) and we are able to better interact more with the crowd and the performers. I have been told that next Thursday will be a taping and that the show this week is merely a "house" show - without the full-out wrestling production.

If you have any other questions, feel free to email me or call me any night after 6pm at ###-####.

Thanks,

And that was all.

AfroSquad on AFN Europe

When I was in Afghanistan, I had the privilege of watching hours upon hours of the Armed Forces Network. This staple of deployed broadcasting isn't terrible, but it has its peculiarities. A big difference between AFN and American television is the lack of commercials. That's right, for nearly a year I did not see one commercial shilling a product.

Instead of commercials, AFN airs hundreds of public service announcements. They range from instructions on when to salute to history of the military to proclamations denouncing sexual harassment. They are all good things and I wish American TV had a few of them on cable television.

But there was one AFN commercial that was absolutely ironic to me. In order to capitalize on the "Party Rock" craze that was popular at the time, a few military actors donned afro wigs and glasses and the attire of the band LMFAO. While there is nothing intrinsically ironic about that, the subject of their commercial is what makes it my absolute favorite.

They made a commercial about speeding.

Meanwhile, sitting in Afghanistan watching their commercial was a member of the Afro-Squad who was the unfortunate recipient of nearly 10 speeding tickets in eight Florida counties. That's a ticket every two years I've been driving in over 10% of the 72 counties in Florida. I'm not exactly proud of that, but I think being that I have never been in an accident, I don't think I am a bad driver, just a little fast on the gas.

But perhaps if I listened to my European Afro-Squad friends.

Gargoyle and the AfroSquad Wrestling Promo

While perusing the vast illustrious digital video depot known as YouTube, I found an old wrestling promo video I was a part of. This video was filmed in early 2011 when I was frequently attending All-Star Wrestling in Tampa. On this particular Friday evening, the regular crowd was joined by pro wrestling superfan "The Gargoyle", who had traveled from the Florida Panhandle to check out the Tampa wrestling scene.

Being a bit of a character myself, with my 3-foot afro, The Gargoyle and I clicked immediately. We clicked so well, we knew we had to shoot a wrestling style promo outside of the venue. Joining us was wrestler Colby Godwin, aka BTY.

I don't go to as many wrestling shows as I used to, but these were fun times.

Ancient AfroSquad video from back in the day

While digging in the underbelly of the Internet, way below the Prime Meridian, far below where Optimus Prime dare go, I found an ancient video. I dusted it off, gave it two blows to the nose, and checked the scrolls. It was a sign by the AfroSquad forefathers, who couldn't decide among the four of them who the daddy was. So they dropped this piece of funktasticalness on the world. It's so funky it makes your grandmother swap out her gym socks.

Check, check, check it out.



Seven years ago, the founders of the AfroSquad posted this. Hard to believe youtube has been around that long. Yet The Man still prevails.

AfroSquad for life.

The Origins of Jordi Scrubbings and his Afro

Ever wonder how I came up with the name Jordi Scrubbings?

Ever wonder why I wear an afro?

Buddy of the Blog Clark Brooks wondered that as well. And Clark did something about it. He invited me on to his podcast, The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast, which oddly enough has been ridiculously consistent since it began in January. But that's Clark's irony, right there. Who else would say his podcast and blog for that matter are inconsistent, yet post on both regularly?

Seems he should celebrate his consistency, not his inconsistency. Well, at least he is ridiculous. That is true.

I am not so sure about the trickle. Clark is a bit older than I am, but his trickling is a personal issue I am not sure I want to talk to him about.

But back to the podcast!

Clark had me on his podcast (did I mention that already?). It was the first podcast I have been on in a while and it was the first I have ever been on in person. Clark has a radio-like set-up and it's quite snazzy. And he is sponsored! Which means he may or may not be making money on the deal.

Too bad I don't have an appearance fee.

But anyway, I was on Clark's podcast. We talked the origin of the name "Jordi Scrubbings", why I wear an afro, my recent lack of comedy, my worst comedy performance ever, my new blog, my current blog, baseball, and how years ago I got really sick after a night of drinking.

It was a great time.

You can find the podcast on itunes by clicking the underlined letters, under the name

An interview with triple or quadruple threat Michael Lortz aka “that kid with the Afro wig”

Did I mention Clark is older than me? I think that's why he thinks he can call me "kid".

Hopefully, maybe, one day, if the planets align correctly, and the sun shines right, perhaps Clark will have me back.

So Long, From the Sunshine State - A Review of the Final FCW Event in Tampa

From 1961 to 1987 Championship Wrestling of Florida was the number one wrestling promotion in Florida. At its height, the company ran four to five shows a week throughout the state, from Miami to Orlando to Jacksonville, and boasted a who’s who of wrestling legends, from Dusty Rhodes to Bob Orton, Sr. to the Funks to many more. Although the company spent most of its time entertaining state-wide, there was only one city it called “home”: Tampa.

Tampa had hosted pro wrestling events since the 1940s and the early days of Eddie Graham. After a promotional war in the mid-40s, the city’s primary venue became the Fort Hester Armory, a few miles from downtown. Through the 60s, 70s, and 80s, Championship Wrestling of Florida continued in the Fort Hester Armory and the armory was where most old-time local fans saw their first wrestling show.

Of course, we all know what happened to the territories, for better or for worse. CWF merged with Crockett Promotions in 1987, an NWA Florida was created in 1990, and in 2003 Championship Wrestling of Florida was created as an NWA promotion. Meanwhile dozens of fly-by-night promotions sprung up in Florida – some good, some bad – and the local wrestling market became heavily saturated.

In 2007, the WWE decided to move its main training facility from Ohio Valley to the Tampa Bay area under the leadership of Steve Keirn. They resurrected the Florida Championship Wrestling name and hosted many of their early shows in a bar called Bourbon Street in New Port Richey, Florida, about 30 minutes north of Tampa. For years, Bourbon Street was home to indy shows and its consistent wrestling booking fostered a loyal and passionate fan base, the “Bourbon Street Mafia”.

When FCW completed its training facility in South Tampa, shows were moved from Bourbon Street to the FCW Arena. The first FCW match in the new location in 2008 was between Tyson Kidd and the then-Gavin Spears (now known as Tye Dillinger).

Shortly thereafter, I attended my first FCW show. With shows every Thursday, it wasn’t long until I knew every member of the Bourbon Street Mafia and became part of a second wrestling fan crew, the Afro-Squad. I could go on about how wearing an afro in public and having a grand time at wrestling shows helped me embrace my performing side, while also getting a much deeper understanding of the role of the fan in wrestling, but that’s a post for a different day. Let me just say that through the FCW fan crews, I made friends in Tampa that have lasted for several years and have extended far beyond the arena.

Although attending FCW was the thing to do from 2008 to 2010, eventually people seemed to lose interest. While the first class of stars were main eventing on RAW and Smackdown, the follow-up classes from FCW weren’t as exciting, save for a Bryan Daniels here or a Loki there. As time passed, most of the fan crews started to dissipate – some people moved, some found other interests, and some even tried their hand at their own local indy promotions, sometimes even using former FCW talents in their shows.

In 2012, the WWE joined with Full Sail University and in August 2012 did away with the FCW name, swapping it for the NXT brand. Shows were still held in the FCW Arena, but it was now a satellite location, far from the main hub.

And that brings us to last week’s final show at the FCW Arena and the possible end of more than fifty years of Florida Championship Wrestling.

The writing was on the wall since they took the posters off the walls and replaced them with the stark corporate blackness of NXT. Despite “FCW” still illuminating the front of the building, there were no traces of Florida Championship Wrestling anywhere in the building. Gone were the pictures of former champs, pictures of Gordon Solie, or any traces of the palm tree logo. This was NXT and it could have been anywhere.

But that’s how WWE likes their product. Save for a tip of the cap to Jerry Lawler in Memphis or a few other geographical acknowledgements, the WWE keeps its product as geographically sterile as a Wal-Mart, a McDonalds, or an Olive Garden. You would never know where a WWE event is if they didn’t tell you in the opening of the broadcast. That’s because shareholders like corporate uniformity. And with fans gobbling up spin-offs of the WWE brand beyond the traditional outlets of RAW, Smackdown, and PPVs, tying the product to a location made little sense.

For thoughts on the last show, I’m going to go Magic Bullet Style:

• Great crowd. Absolutely great crowd. Half the chairs were not there, so many stood chair-less the entire show. Steve Keirn mentioned it was a sell-out and I would guess in the ballpark of 300 fans. I am not sure what advertising they did, if any, or if it was just word of mouth, but it was great crowd.

• Being in Afghanistan from early 2012 to mid-2013 took me out of the loop on a lot of wrestling. And wrestling, due to its continuous nature, is very hard to catch up with. Hence I knew very few people on the FCW roster. I did however recognize Gavin Spears and Leo Kruger, but did not recognize their new names.

• The show opened with a great speech by Norman Smiley, a trainer for FCW since it opened. He talked about wrestling in the Fort Hester Armory a few miles away and how to him FCW was the completion of life’s cycle. He mentioned how it was time to move on to bigger pastures. Of interesting note, after he concluded a few fans tried to start an “N-X-T” chant but they were quickly out-chanted by the majority’s “F-C-W” chant.

• WWE has put a lot of work into character development since the early days of FCW. Maybe because NXT means TV and fans know characters much earlier in their WWE careers, but almost every wrestler had personality. Far different from when FCW would parade undistinguishable Randy Orton clones to the ring, leaving fans to ask each other who the heel and face were.

• Best match of the night skills-wise was Solomon Crowe versus Kallisto. Even though I had no clue who they were, right from the start I could tell they had experience outside of WWE/NXT. One of my friends confirmed they were long time indy talents. I was really impressed. I’m looking forward to seeing more of both of them, even if not in person.

• Seeing Gavin Spears (Tye Dillinger) back with FCW/NXT was cool. He was on the FCW roster when I first started going to their shows in 2008. After his release, I saw him wrestle for various indies throughout Florida. Some were even bar shows in front of 50 people. And even then, he still brought it. Good to see him back on the cusp.

• Also bringing back memories was Leo Kruger (aka Adam Rose). He too was on the early FCW roster, although then he was one of the many undistinguishable talents. As Adam Rose, he has character flair and his match with Corey Graves was big on entertainment and in-ring trickery.

• The match of the night was NXT Champion Bo Dallas versus WWE veteran and NXT trainer Billy Gunn. Of course as the challenger, Gunn came out first. I was disappointed he came out to the DX music and not the “Ass Man” theme song, but gotta play to popularity, right? When Gunn did enter however, the crowd went nuts and Gunn did a great job building the crowd’s excitement. That’s a gift most veterans learn – how to build up the crowd. He ran around the ring, slapped hands, and urged fans on one side to chant louder than fans on the other side. It was a lesson in charisma for the young superstars.

• At first the match showed Gunn as the stronger competitor as Dallas bounced off of him, went down hard on punches and clotheslines, and generally built up Gunn through a series of hard bumps. But eventually Dallas reversed the match and built himself back up as a worthy young champion, with Gunn taking solid bumps.

• As part of the no-DQ stipulation, Gunn asked the fans for chairs to hit Dallas with. With an extra afro wig in our group, we passed Gunn a wig, to which he promptly used to pummel Dallas. Best use of an afro since we passed John Cena a wig and he struck a pose with it.

• The end of the match was a gimmick-fest as several wrestlers ran in and gave each competitor a finishing move, depending on whether the interfering wrestler was a heel or face. After even Norman Smiley and Bill DeMott ran in, Dallas eventually avoided a Fame-Asser and pulled off the win.

• After the match, Gunn took the mic and gave a Randy the Ram-like speech thanking the crowd for being there and commenting on his own mortal fragility. Gunn put on a hell of a match for a guy past his prime. Not sure he could mix it up on a regular basis, but he looked good.

• Following Gunn on the mic was Norman Smiley. Again, Smiley thanked the fans for coming out and supporting the product during its time in Tampa. He then asked Steve Keirn and his wife to come to the ring. After thanking them, he presented Steve with a plaque of appreciation.

• Keirn then took the mic and gave a nice impromptu speech. He talked about establishing FCW in Tampa and mentioned Vince McMahon’s request that Keirn supply two talents per year to the WWE roster. Keirn said FCW promoted 116 in six years. That’s almost 20 a year. Keirn then acknowledged the support of his wife in his career. Finally, he concluded that although FCW was done, he wasn’t and NXT represented another chapter.

• After the show, the talent packed up the ring and other equipment and loaded it into an NXT truck, taking with them years of memories.

Final thoughts:

Although Tampa area fans could possibly make the drive an hour or so to Full Sail University and see their favorite upcoming WWE talents, what will be missed most with FCW closing is the family aspect of the promotion. From the days of Eddie and Mike Graham to the Keirns, FCW has mostly been a family promotion. The wrestlers came and went, but the family aspect stayed. And that idea of family extended into the crowd as well, as regular fans grew closer and FCW became an oasis in their busy lives, a place to meet, socialize, and bond over common interests. Perhaps one day someone will chronicle the slow removal of families from the top levels of the pro wrestling landscape. I think it would make a great story. That’s not to say there aren’t still great lineages in the business, but as time passes, so too does their influence. Shareholders don’t care about family names or fan families.

As for Tampa wrestling, there are still plenty of places for the indy fan to see shows. SHINE and EVOLVE run shows in Ybor City and other local promoters still put on shows headlined by regional talents, including those who had a cup of coffee or two with FCW. And Orlando, with its many promotions is only an hour away. Although fans who know wrestling only from TV will lament not seeing wrestlers they recognize, the underground scene will be fine.

As for the legacy of Championship Wrestling of Florida, perhaps the WWE Hall of Fame will one day include it in exhibit on the history of the territories. Perhaps locally the Tampa History Center may feature a few pieces of memorabilia. And hopefully the Jewish Community Center being built on the grounds of the Hester Armory will acknowledge the many years Championship Wrestling of Florida called the building home.

Names have power and carry memories. Championship Wrestling of Florida and Florida Championship Wrestling will forever live in the memories of Tampa wrestling fans.

Rescuing AfroSquad dot com from The MAN

For those who have been following the last few years, every so often I mention the AfroSquad, the funky forebearers of  fro-wearing fun. Legend has it the AfroSquad was two guys, one in Michigan and the other in Texas doing similar videos and posting them in the days before YouTube.

Sometime in the early 2000s, the AfroSquad was forced underground and someone forgot to pay the website bill. The name afrosquad.com expired, the afrosquad.com name was claimed, and the AfroSquad moved to afro-squad.com, where you can still find some funny stuff. However, after a little web perusing I found the name afrosquad.com is for sale. I thought maybe I had a chance to reclaim the name and bring it back to the old school 'cause I'm an old fool who's so cool. And after I got done singing "Whomp, There It Is", I would bring some funkiness back to the domain that started it all. So I sent an email to the company responsible for the negotiation of afrosquad.com. I told them I was interested and asked how much the owner was willing to sell it for. I had a price in mind and was willing to cough up a few hundred dollars, tops. A few days later, I received an email response (abbreviated due to confidentiality):

Hello Michael, I am the Domain Broker who represents afrosquad.com. This domain name has been previously quoted at $28,000.00 USD. If you would like to make an offer we'd be happy to present it on your behalf and see what the owner says. Thanks very much for your interest.

That's right. $28,000 dollars. As much as nice car or a legit down payment on a house. Now I don't know how much website ads make. I don't anyone who clicks ads, although I have heard advertising on the web is a way to make money. But $28,000? That's a lot of cash. I wrote the company back and offered $250. Like I said, I was willing to throw down a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. Considering I have never bought a website name for more than $12, I thought $250 was rather reasonable. Especially for a site with nothing on it. Crazy, right? Then I received this response to my counter-offer:

Hi Michael The domain owner appreciates your feedback but respectfully declines your offer. All the best to you and your venture.

The domain broker also informed me the seller was willing to go as low as 20% off the $28,000 price. Well, that is still over $20,000 for a website name. So The MAN continues to hold AfroSquad.com hostage.

Where is the AfroSquad?

Back in high school, people I worked with at the local McDonalds called me "Waldo". Many moons later, fast forward to the present day, or at least sometime around now. The world famous Snowman of the AfroSquad got funky with the keys, brushed the dust off my long-forgotten moniker, and used my smiling mug in a "Where's Jordi?" photoshop.

By the time you find me on here the real me should be on the move again, like an airborne Willie Nelson flying the skyways of tomorrow through the hours of past to a land ahead in time. Not sure where, but that's the mystery!

Are you lost yet?

Finding Differences with the AfroSquad

While I gallivant around the globe trying to put an end to the unfunky few, the always funky Mr. Snowman put together this utterly awesome array of visual vittles. Peep this groovy game here and try to find 10 differences in the two pics. (If you need to, click the pic to embiggen it.)

Find all 10: You got da funk.

Find 6-9: Not bad, but you ain't gonna keep ya woman unless you do more.

Find 1-5: Your hurtin', kid. Go to sleep and take a look tomorrow.

Find 0: Did you at least find me? I'm only in one of them. That's called "a difference".

Classic AfroSquad Photoshop Week Day 6

This week I am featuring several humorous photoshops created by the world-famous Snowman of the Afro-Squad. Snowman has been doing these pictures for years and I have been fortunate to be his subject of photoshop on a few occasions. The next few days will feature some of my favorites.

Classic AfroSquad Photoshop Week Day 5

This week I am featuring several humorous photoshops created by the world-famous Snowman of the Afro-Squad. Snowman has been doing these pictures for years and I have been fortunate to be his subject of photoshop on a few occasions. The next few days will feature some of my favorites.

Classic AfroSquad Photoshop Week Day 4

This week I am going to feature several humorous photoshops created by the world-famous Snowman of the Afro-Squad. Snowman has been doing these pictures for years and I have been fortunate to be his subject of photoshop on a few occasions. The next few days will feature some of my favorites.