Wednesday, September 27, 2006

5 Good Reasons Jeff Bowden is A O.K.

In the spirit of ESPN Classic's "5 Good Reasons Why ..." I have decided to try and justify Jeff Bowden's continued employment with Florida State football. This is going to be an exercise in intellect, as I am among the many who wish to no longer see Jeff anywhere near Doak Campbell Stadium or Seminole football. But for the sake of argument here are my 5 Good Reasons Jeff Bowden is not to blame for Florida State's recent offensive ineptitude:

5) The Re-emergence of the U Starting in 2000, the University of Miami reclaimed its spot as one of the premier football powerhouses in the nation. Save for this year's dismal start, Larry Coker has taken the recruits of Butch Davis and his own players and made "the U" one of the best teams in the ACC. Gone are the days of beating sorry Miami teams 47-0. Who knows how many of those recruits would have gone to Florida State had Miami stayed on probation?

4) Keeping up with the Joneses Who can forget Jared Jones? The next quarterback in line after the graduation of Chris Weinke, Jones was supposed to keep the seat warm for California super-stud Chris Rix. Well Mr. Jones got thrown off the team prior to the 2001-2002 season skewing the prefered rotation of college quarterbacks becoming starters as juniors. Instead, Chris Rix became a starting freshman quarterback with a lot of potential and not much results. This mix of star potential and ill-fated mistakes plagued him throughout his FSU career. Thanks for messing up the rotation Jared. You get shot in some neighborhoods for that.

3) Joe Mauer Yes, the same Joe Mauer who is currently leading the major leagues in batting average is partly to blame for FSU's woes. Mauer was supposed to be the "next big thing" after Rix, and was recruited out of Chris Weinke's old high school in Minnesota. But what does Mr. Mauer do? Does he save FSU football? No. He turns down FSU after getting drafted by the hometown Twins. Good career move? Maybe. But fortunately Bobby Bowden reportedly "promised to keep a scholarship open for Mauer 12 years after he is done with baseball" (The Kansas City Star). Come on Joe, you know Tallahassee is much nicer than the Twin Cities.

2) Bobby Bowden's coaching tree Like all great coaches, eventually the apples fall from the tree. In Coach Bowden's case, losing Mark Richt to Georgia and Chuck Amato to N.C. State really hurt FSU football as both coaches have used their Bowden-taught wisdom against Coach Bowden. Although it is a credit to Coach Bowden's career and abilities as a teacher, the branches of this tree have come back to whip the Seminoles in the face.

1) The Emergence of ACC Football In 1992, USA Basketball, the "Dream Team", destroyed the world competition on their way to the gold medal. One year earlier, FSU entered the ACC, similarly destroying all in their path. Why compare the two? Because in both cases their opponents have caught up in terms of talent and training. USA basketball hasn't won a gold medal of late due not only to inconsistent play but to the rising talent throughout the world. FSU football, likewise, has not contended for national glory of late also due not only to inconsistent play but also to the increased emphasis on football recruiting in ACC Country. Years ago, talents like Phillip Rivers, Julius Peppers, and Mario Williams would have been no-brainers to join the FSU juggernaut. But like most monopolies, the competition eventually comes back.

Honorable Mentions: Injuries: see Thorpe, Cro; Castillo, David; and other assorted linemen.

Academic problems (alarm clock-related): see Rix, Chris.

Legal problems: see McPherson, Adrian; Rouse, Fred.

God complex: see Sexton, Wyatt.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

News of the Day

Don't Hate, Pontificate!
Why, oh why did the Pope quote a 14th century Pope's description of Islam and the Prophet Mohammed?

If the Holy Cee was trying to build a bridge for peace, couldn't he have found someone better to quote? John Lennon, maybe? How about a quote from the California rock band The Uninvited, "I talked to God and God said ... 'Just be nice, and see that makes things alright'."? Or maybe Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning"?

Thailand, Thailand, some love little girls and some throw coups land.
Not only does Thailand attract weirdos like John Mark Karr who claim to "love" children in a Michael Jackson-sort-of-way, but now the Thai military has decided to overthrow the government while the Prime Minister was visiting the U.S.

Of course, my only question is whether or not the Thailand military still uses wooden soldiers.
More wooden soldiers here.

But Mama Said George Bush is the devil.
Always loquatious Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez proclaimed U.S. President George Bush was the Devil and that the podium at which the U.S. President made his United Nations speech still smelt like sulphur.

Unfortunately President Chavez did not make clear whether Dick Cheney was always ornery because of his Medula Oblongata or because he has all those teeth and no toothbrush.

More Bush Burnings
Does anyone else find it funny that a little more than a year after Kanye West announced George Bush doesn't care about black people, thousands of New Orleans Saints fans of all races will be attending next Monday night's Saints football game in the Superdome wearing the "Bush" jersey of recent draft pick Reggie Bush?

Overrated person, place, or thing of the week

Elvis Presley - not because of his musical career, but because those annoying Elvis impersonators who continue to dress up like Elivs nearly 30 years after "The King" has passed away. Or nearly 30 years after he began working at a 7-11 in Michigan, depending on your personal beliefs.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Day One: Growin' All Up in the Ghetto

Ok, let's see how far I can go with this blog thing before "The Man" shuts me down. Just kidding. Well I guess this is going to be a place for me to post my thoughts, musings, and random ideas. So sit back, enjoy, and comment as you see fit.

A bit about lil' ol' me: I graduated from Florida State; had my own random column for that fine literary publication, the FSView and Florida Flambeau; and I am currently living outside of Tampa, FL. These experiences, as well as a childhood spent locked in a basement, will mold a lot of what I talk about. And of course, random references to current events, music, books, television, movies, or sports (especially the NY Mets, Knicks, and FSU Seminoles). But you get the point. Enjoy.