Wrapping up my latest cinematic adventures. If you want to read all my movie reviews, check out my profile on letterboxd.
One of my favorite movies ever. I saw it 30 years ago and it stayed with me like herpes. The need to watch it again flared up and I embraced it with all its glory. It’s gross, it’s bloody, it’s cheap, it’s fun. Everything video herpes should be.
Grade: 5 moonshine still stars out of 5. They don’t get much better than this.
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Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014)
I’ve seen Strippers vs Zombies, Zombies vs Strippers, Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies, Kung Fu vs Zombies, and Ninjas vs Zombies. All better than this.
If WWF legend Rowdy Roddy Piper is carrying your movie, that’s not saying much. I like Roddy Piper. But he should be a fun side character. Not your main event.
So many plot holes, missed spots, botches, and stiff acting. I like low budget movies. I like Troma Films. I like zombie flicks. I like wrestling. I loved The Unbreakable Bunch. This was not good.
Grade: 2 botched zombie slams out of 5
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Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)
You don’t watch kung fu for the plot. You watch for the fight scenes. And this is one of the best. Also the basis of a lot of video game characters from Mortal Kombat to Street Fighter. Definitely a movie to lose your head for.
Grade: 5 flying stars out of 5
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From the bowels of Geoffery Chaucer’s The Miller’s Tale and Shakepeare’s bawdy toilet humor comes 2003’s epic horror comedy Monsturd. It’s lewd, it’s crude, it’s sophomoric and amateur. But therein lies the beauty of Monsturd.
A prisoner escapes, gets mixed with toxic waste, and becomes a killer shitmonster. This is the kind of story we will be telling for generations to come. It is relatable on every level because everyone poops.
500 years from now our great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren will appreciate Monsturd, just as today we appreciate Chaucer’s lewd humor of the 16th century.
Grade: 4 peanut poops out of 5
