PowerPoint Platforms and Coming Back to Comedy

I did stand-up comedy years ago. I wasn't very good. I wasn't very good because I didn't do it enough to be good. But like most comics, I got better as I went along. I was terrible in Tampa, ok in Ocala, and got a few laughs in Lakeland.

Then the bombing Afghanistan happened.

That was 2012. I have barely been on stage since. I like to say I left Afghanistan with PTSD - post-traumatic silence disorder. That's what happens when a comic gets so shook after a bad set they never get back on stage.

But a recent article in Vulture.com made me think that maybe in 2019 is the year I return to comedy.

Entitled "Why is PowerPoint Having a Comedy Moment?", the article discusses how several comics are blending PowerPoint presentations into their sets. I am great at PowerPoint. I can do that.

I know, I know. Comedy is about being funny first, props and gimmicks second. Comedy isn't a TED Talk, the audience should be focused on the performer, not words on a screen. But that's when I'll make a slide with a big arrow pointing back to me. The eyes of the audience will follow the arrow back to me. Easy as microwavable pie.

As a medium, PowerPoint is easy for comedy. Every slide can build suspense opening the door for a visual twist. Images also keep people interested if the comic is not. Slides give the audience something read.

And I've already made a presentation that is perfect for comedy: my Guide to Winning a Woman's Interest.





To date, this video has only has 177 views on YouTube. But what if I brought it to comedy shows? What if my entire YouTube channel was filled with funny presentations?

Comedy is calling me again and my perfect platform is PowerPoint.

Thoughts on the AR-15

The AR-15 is perhaps the most polarizing weapon in a very polar gun-control debate. It has been the weapon of choice for several mass murderers in the United States over several years. According to Wikipedia, it was used in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, the 2015 San Bernardino attack, the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, the 2017 Sutherland Springs church shooting, and the 2018 Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. As well, the Pulse Nightclub shooting was conducted with a weapon very similar to the AR-15.

The weapon is popular - both with collectors and those with bad intentions. According to experts cited by the New York Times (it would be nice if they put a name to at least one expert, by the way), "there are easily several million in the nation’s rifle racks and gun safes".

But is it really needed? Do we really need millions of rifles in the hands of private gun owners across America?

According to gun websites, we do. Here are screenshots from a late 2017 article on the TheTruthAboutGuns.com.

Picture 1:

Picture 2:

The rest of the top 10 were 8 pistols and a shotgun. While there is no arguing the presence of a firearm can help home defense if used by someone who knows what they are doing, and there is no arguing that the "intimidation factor of a pump action shotgun can’t be overstated" as the article says (shlack-lack), why is an AR-15 on this list?

According to the article, "If your home or your property is unfortunate enough to be targeted by multiple intruders" it is best to have an AR-15 handy. Does this happen often enough that the rifle has to be number 2 on the list? Are there groups of robbers and home invaders breaking into houses throughout America?

Also in the description, "In a multiple bad guy situation, an AR-15 will help even the odds by giving you the advantage of distance, velocity, and ammunition capacity". Are gun owners defending their homes or guarding the front lines at the Battle of the Bulge? If the average size of an American home is 2,600 square feet (792.5 meters) with walls, do gun owners really need a weapon with a maximum effective range of 400 meters to 1 mile (1,609 meters), depending on the configuration and ammunition?

According to a 2013 article entitled, "Gun Control Myth: The AR-15 is Not Actually a Hunting Rifle" by Matt MacBradaigh,

In reality, AR-15's make excellent hunting rifles and are normally used for that purpose. They are configurable via a separate upper and lower part that make it possible for the user to configure the rifle for various types of bullet cartridges. Depending on what game is being hunted, and what bullet the rifle is configured to fire, virtually all AR-15 rifles are useful for hunting.

Can a weapon be good for home defense and hunting? Or is there another reason for the weapon's popularity? Could the answer be in the home defense ranking article?

Look again at the first picture. Notice the ads? Both ads are for accessories for an AR rifle. There are many parts gun owners can add to the AR-15 "platform" that increases distance or power. Smaller weapons such as pistols don't have as many parts to add on as larger rifle platforms. Selling these parts are big business. The companies that sell the parts rely on the sale of the platform and their ads to continue their revenue.

The parts companies want to sell more parts, so they buy more ad space for parts on gun websites. Those sites see where the ad revenue is coming from and promote the applicable weapon in an effort to increase the sale of weapon and then tell the advertiser that the ads on their sites are working. Then the website can increase the cost of advertising on their site.

All the website needs is text to pitch a need to gun owners that fits the narrative to support the website's ad selling business.

Like most internet business, selling AR-15s is a shell game based on ads and marketing. Seeing through propaganda is important if societies want to have rational debates about the safety and practicality of purchasable products.

L1ZY and the Artificial Intelligence Takeover

In the horrifying yet possibly soon-to-be realistic film by Ghost+Cow films, a home assistant named L1ZY assists a household a little too much.



BIG DATA - "L1ZY" from GHOST+COW FILMS on Vimeo.

Personally, I refuse to buy a home assistant. I don't want an Alexa, a Siri, or anything else that can record my voice and the voice of those around me. Having a smart TV is scary enough. My goal in the near future is to learn how to firewall my house so no signal can get out or in without me knowing about it. That would prevent my toaster, refrigerator, or toilet from telling a data server about my habits.

"Michael, your toilet says you have been using a lot of toilet paper recently. I've ordered some from Amazon, but should I also contact your doctor? And from the change in atmospheric pressure in the house, you have also been passing a lot of gas. Should we order Gas-X as well?"

I am far from a Ludite, but I draw the line with allowing AI into my house. L1ZY is why.

The History of Hey Joe

Over at Financial Times, writer Ian Gittins wrote an awesome history of the classic rock song "Hey Joe". Made famous by Jimi Hendrix, "Hey Joe" was actually sung by a few bands prior to Jimi making it his own.

After Jimi, a few more bands tried to rock "Hey Joe", but they paled in comparison to Jimi's version.

Check out the history of "Hey Joe" here:

Hey Joe — a song with murky origins gave rise to one of the great cover versions

And another great history of the song by Noel Murray at AV/Music:

“Hey Joe” didn’t start or end with Jimi Hendrix - 7/14/2015

No Grassroots in the Desert

For most of 2018 I lived in Doha, Qatar. Life in Doha was an amazing experience, full of cultural and culinary exploration. Doha is a beautiful city and a melting pot of various cultures and people.

But something was missing. Despite the beautiful skyline, expansive malls, and elaborate museums, sometimes Doha seemed fake, manufactured, and prefabricated, especially in entertainment. In my 9 months there, I only twice saw signs of an underground scene. I don't mean a subway, metro, or tube - Doha is building an extensive underground metro that will connect the city and possibly reduce traffic. What I am talking about is local entertainment. Especially entertainment that takes a stand and talks about struggle.

Like most Arabic cultures, Doha imports a lot of entertainment. There are DJs, dance clubs, and top 40 radio stations. International performers are brought in for concerts and performances.

EDM doesn't talk about the struggle. Top 40 rarely talks about the struggle - often quite the opposite. Very few English-speaking songs played in Qatar talk about the plight of the working class, although I was surprised one morning when the English Qatar National Radio played Dolly Parton's "9 to 5", a song about a woman's grind in the labor force that contains lyrics such as "It's a rich man's game / No matter what they call it / And you spend your life / Putting money in his wallet."

The closest I found to underground, anti-establishment entertainment was a local comedy show where comics poked fun at Qatari culture and a local rock concert. Both of these occurred in international hotels, where non-Qataris can congregate and enjoy alcohol and other things forbidden under Sharia Law. Of the two events, the rock concert was the most counter-culture, especially when a group of Filipinos covered songs from Rage Against the Machine. I did not expect that at all and I wonder if their selection was noticed by management.

While popular Qatari entertainment avoids stories of the lower class, many laborers in Qatar live in squalor, in poor neglected ghettos where men are packed in until their multi-year labor contracts expire. Amnesty International and other watchdogs occasionally publish reports on the conditions of immigrant workers and are usually the only outlets that broadcast their stories.

I would be very curious to know how many of the immigrant workers in Qatar's Industrial Zones are musically inclined. I wonder how many have instruments. Are they singing about their plight? Are they composing rap songs or poetry describing their conditions? It will be interesting to hear if Qatar's new Asian-speaking radio stations play any songs of struggle.

Coming from America, I found the lack of struggle in popular entertainment in Qatar very odd. American music is often full of struggle, from folk to punk to blues to hip-hop. For the first 100 years of American commercial broadcast, the struggle sold. It was music people could identify with, as America is a land of overcoming odds, rolling sleeves up, and the pursuing happiness.

Singing about struggle is an American tradition. According to an article by the US Library of Congress, 19th century Chinese migrant workers who worked on the US railroad sang songs about their experiences. As well, African slave music in the US has been well documented and is the foundation of much of America's current popular music.

Perhaps Qatar doesn't want people to hear the plight of workers or the lower class. Perhaps the government - specifically the Cultural Ministry - only wants people to see a crown jewel of the Middle East. They want Qatar to shine. Perhaps the powers that be in Qatar are scared that if enough people hear songs about the lower class, they will grow apathetic to their plight, or there may even be social change. Monarchies don't like social change unless they can control it.

That's why there is no underground in the desert. Because the underground has the potential to rise, and when it does, it often conflicts with power.

Month 9 in Qatar - To New Beginnings

Dear All,

My apologies for being a few days late on this letter. It has been a very busy week. It has been the week I returned to the US after 9 months living in Doha, Qatar.

Before I summarize my adventure, here are the high points of my final month abroad:

It rained. A lot. A few weeks before I left, Doha had its biggest thunderstorm in years. Unfortunately, with rain rare in Qatar, drainage is minimal or non-existent in the buildings or roads.

Although for Florida, the rain would not be a big deal, for Qatar, the rain made a mess. Roads were completely impassable; debris from construction sites floated into intersections; and parking garages were flooded. The rain even made its way into my apartment, causing puddles in my living room and bedroom.

A few days after the great flood, I visited the Mall of Qatar. As I’ve mentioned before, Qatar is huge on mall culture. Their malls are cultural gathering centers and celebrations of commercialism. Bigger than many airports, the Mall of Qatar is the biggest mall of them all. It is extravagant. During my visit, I ate at a Texas Roadhouse restaurant because nothing screams local Qatari culture more than a Texas-themed chain restaurant.

The next weekend, I finally did sightseeing at The Pearl, Qatar’s giant man-made residential islands. Very little at The Pearl is genuinely Qatari. The buildings are made to look like European architecture to attract European residents. But the prices at The Pearl are so high only senior level personnel or the Qataris themselves can afford to live there. But the architecture and development is very impressive. Not my type of neighborhood, but impressive nonetheless. And the food is delicious.

During my final weeks, I met three international professional basketball players. They were American, new to Qatar, and preparing to play in the Qatari National Basketball League. While probably not good enough to play in the NBA, they were still fulfilling their dreams of playing professional basketball and seeing the world one basketball season at a time. How cool is that?

Concluding my final days in Qatar, I saw another symphony performance, this time at the Islamic Museum of Art. The museum oversees the city skyline, so as you can see in the link below, I was able to get some more great pictures.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/grFU2O0ku7jsJwOt2 

Then it was off to the airport for my return home. It was a long flight, but I watched several in-flight movies and was even able to get some sleep.

It is weird for me to say I headed “home” as I made Qatar my home for 9 months. But Florida is home, even if I don’t have my own place to rest my head at the moment. I am working on that.

Overall, this was an experience I will not soon forget. I did a lot in 9 months. I saw the sights (over 500 pictures!), ate awesome food, made great friends, and met many amazing people. Living overseas was something I had always wanted to do and I embraced the experience. Given the right opportunity, I would definitely do it again. But for now, I’m back. Time to see family and friends, find another job and another place to live, and enjoy the holidays.

Again, many thanks to everyone who followed along. Thanks for reading, replying, and staying in touch.

Awesome article about being a working comic

Several years ago, I tried my hand at stand-up comedy. I enjoyed it a lot, however life's instability got in the way. I had to go to Afghanistan, did a horrible set there, and have only been on stage a few times since.

I miss doing comedy. Although I don't necessarily miss performing - which I was my weakest part - I miss the creative process. I miss the challenge of writing humor.

Hopefully one day, when I get settled again somewhere, I will pull out the comedy books, throw away the Jersey Shore jokes, and get back on stage.

In the meantime, I still enjoy reading about comedy. And recently I found an article that caught my eye and peaked my interest. Written by road comic Chad Zumock, Tales From a Road Comic is a list of tips and tricks to survive in an underpaid industry of 557 billion participants.

Zumock gives some great advice, and I don't want to be hack and steal his thunder. The link is in the above paragraph and if you are interested, you should give it a click.

If you don't want to, I will list the four most important points. Consider this the cliffnotes.

1. Always follow up


2. Send weekly avails


3. Never get too comfortable


4. Handling down time

Number 4 could also be called "Stay active". Which I thought described the section better.

The best advice Zumock gave was "Stay organized and focused", which I think is great advice for any endeavor.

All of Zumock's advice is also applicable for a job hunt, and being an unrepresented comic basically is a 24/7/365 job hunt. It is a hustle. You have to hustle.

Maybe that is the cause of my dilemma. When I started comedy I had a stable job. In the last few years, however, my career has taken me across the world, back to school, bouncing in and out of hotels, and floating through spare bedrooms. Finding a steady job has been my hustle. I don't have time for another hustle right now. And besides, the stress of finding a new job kills my creative process. It is tough to write funny when I know I should be on LinkedIn or a job hunting website.

Maybe I should say screw the 9-5 and push my chips to the middle of the table and take a chance at being a road comic. I've already got the hustle down.

Month 8 in Qatar – Michael is Coming

Hurricane Michael is trying to steal my thunder.

For all my friends in the Florida Panhandle, stay safe. I will visit Tallahassee soon and I promise the next Michael arrival will be a lot less stressful.

It is hard to believe, but I will be returning to the US in less than 30 days. In less than 4 weeks, my time here in Qatar will be done and I will trying to reset my life wherever I find my next job. Which yes, I still haven’t found.

In a recent phone call, my mother asked if I am excited to go home. Of course, I had to tell my mother I am excited to see her after nine months – and I am – but in reality, that’s tough to answer. I am excited to see friends and family again, absolutely. But when I get back, it is back to instability. It is back to not knowing where I am going to be living and where I am going to make money. Those are both important and I don’t have either figured out yet.

Here I have both a place to live and a job – although my company is sending my replacement out here and when she arrives, it is no longer my job to do and without a job the company won’t pay for me to live in an apartment they are paying for. My company likes to say I am being “rotated”, but without a job to “rotate” back to, I like to say I am being “replaced”.

(Sorry if this letter is a bit depressing. I will get to the cool stuff, I promise!)

But I will figure out my next step soon. I’ve been known to land on my feet, even if it takes a while. And I should have a few weeks of vacation pay coming, so I will be fine. With no bills and no rent/mortgage, it might be my best opportunity to drive around America for a few weeks. Maybe I can get back into stand-up comedy and appear in a night club near you.

When I get back, I have a lot of roads I can go, both figuratively and literally.

As far as what I have done this month, it has been slow. I’ve haven’t really gone out much, except to the movies. My big event of the month was to see American hip-hop artist Fat Joe in concert. He was the first American artist to perform in Qatar since I have been here. I am familiar with several of his songs so that was a very cool experience. Like being back home.

There are still a few places I have yet to go that I need to see in my final few weekends here - mostly landmarks. Perhaps I will find another exotic restaurant. Or maybe, as the weather is beginning to cool a bit (topping at 95 degrees!), there will be food or art festivals to go to. I definitely want to end with a good time, even if I have a lot of planning to do over the next 30 days.

But anyway, I am looking forward to being back in the states. Qatar has been an amazing experience. To quote the movie Joe Dirt, “I’ve met some cool people, had some good times, cranked some tunes”. And since I write these after the month milestone is reached, my next letter will be written from the good ol’ USA.

Thanks for reading, following along, and in many cases, responding. It’s been fun.

What I learned downloading my Facebook information

Facebook is a super social net.
Facebook is a super irresponsible social net. And every so often it is a good idea to check what the biggest social media company in the world has on you.

Downloading your Facebook information is easy. You get all the facts you have inputted into Facebook since you opened the account. What you don't see is the mega-web of connections your presence has. But you can get a small scope by exploring your footprint and then realizing Facebook has data on everything you have interacted with as well as your facial information.

A few things about my Facebook activity:

• I have been on Facebook since May 2009.


• My birth year on Facebook is 1905.


• I have been slowly removing old posts off Facebook since 2012.


• I don't post many pictures.


• I have had 400-500 friends for at least the last 5 years.


• I had Facebook on my phone from 2010-2012. I have not had Facebook on my phone since. I log on via laptop and log off, just as I would an email platform such as gmail.


• I have an Instagram account that is not linked to my Facebook account. I use two different names, two different email addresses, and Instagram is only my phone.

So here is what I learned by downloading all my Facebook information on Sept 29, 2018:

• I posted pics on a few pages I don't follow anymore. A good time to delete those. No need for my face to be in places where I don't visit.


• It is weird to see I requested to be friends with someone in 2014 who I have no idea who they are in 2018.


• Facebook claims I have interacted with 10 ads in the last 2 months - all on Instagram. However, when I click Facebook's ad preferences webpage, no interactions are shown. Sneaky Facebook. Very sneaky. How are they linking the accounts? My guess is facial recognition.


• Advertisers running ads on Facebook that have my email address are 99% US automotive dealerships. Hundreds of them. Surely my email went into a marketing network somewhere. Not sure how they received my email address, but that is interesting.


• Facebook thinks I have clicked on a lot of ads. I never click ads.


• Facebook thinks I am into Parenting and Children. Probably because of my age and the social status of my friend connections.


• I hadn't cleared my Search bar since 2016. I might want to do that more frequently.


• I have removed 247 friends off my friends list since 2009. My high year for removing "friends" was 2011, when I removed 53 people from my friends list.


• Doesn't the fact that Facebook can tell me who I removed from my friends list in 2010 mean they still consider us a connection? Just because I am not "connected" in view, doesn't mean the database doesn't still see the relationship.


• Although my friends list says 451, Facebook says I have added 435 friends.


• These lists do not include people who have removed me from their friends list. Those people do not show on the added nor the removed list.

I made this chart from my friend list data.




I was actually quite surprised to see 2016 so high. From the data and looking at the names I removed, this was probably not due to politics at all. It seems I cleaned out my friends list early in 2016 and removed people I didn't interact with.

My goal is to eventually clear all but a year's worth of posts off Facebook. I'd like to keep the posts, but maybe copy them on to my blog, or maybe into a pdf file, and maybe even print them out into a diary type book. It will be a long effort, but I think it would be worth it. As a writer, it is inevitable that I will continue to create and interact, but with privacy concerns at all-time high, my words are better off with me than with Facebook.

7 Months in Qatar – The Autumn of my Journey

We are now in September, my 7^th month of nine in Qatar is complete. It is starting to cool down here. The weather has dropped from 100 degrees at night to only 95. Despite the respite from the heat, a stifling humidity has moved in. For my Florida family and friends, the weather at night here feels like summertime Florida at 3pm, but without the rain.

Thank goodness for air conditioning.

Jobwise, things have picked up. I am working on some great projects that will lead me until my departure. There is increased focus on my work recently and that’s a good thing. Interestingly enough, the same projects I am doing here are very similar in structure to those I have done in non-defense jobs. Creating presentations and briefing insights to executives is the same whether they are in suits or uniforms.

But yet, as I mentioned in previous emails, once I return to the states, there is no job on this assignment. As I told my team lead, it is like the training wheels are off and I am being told to get off the bicycle.

As for my next move, I am still not sure. I am looking at many options. Some in Florida – where my stuff is in storage – and some not. I would prefer Florida, especially Tampa, but I am open to great opportunities if they present themselves. I would like to spend the holidays near family and friends first.

Outside of work, this has been a fun month. First and foremost, I attended the Qatar Comedy Festival starring Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias. If you have never seen Fluffy, he is hilarious and highly recommended. He and two other comics put on a great show. I was curious how political or vice (sex, drugs, alcohol, etc) the comedy would be. There was a bit, (Fluffy talked about smoking weed with Snoop Dogg), but overall it was a very clean show. Which was not surprising as these entertainment shows are put on by the very conservative Qatari government.

I also think it is interesting that when they want to be entertained, Qatar brings in internationally recognized talent. There is very little local Qatari comedy. There was a local show I went to a few months ago, and there was a show recently that I missed, but the local scenes for popular culture arts are rare. I am not sure the cause of that – perhaps because it is easier to pay for entertainment (adds to the appearance of status), or because it is easier to control the voices if they are imported and paid handsomely.

Along the same lines, I also visited the Modern Arabic Art Museum. This museum is near the universities in the education district. The Modern Art museum is very different from the Islamic Museum I visited a few months ago. As a friend pointed out, “Islamic art is decorative, Arab art is about the society”. From my visit to the museum, I think that is very true. There was art about society, about revolution, about suffering, about growth, and about how modernity has merged with traditional cultures.

Of course I took dozens of pictures. Half the fun of visiting museums is taking cool pictures.

Here is the link to all my Qatar pictures. Again, please start from the bottom as there are over 400 total.

CLICK HERE FOR PICS

Hopefully, this coming month the weather should be a bit cooler. I’ve heard in September and October is when the festivals and social events start happening again in the city. I also want to make a drive to the fishing towns outside of the city before November.

But that’s all for Month 7. Thanks for reading and I hope to see many of you in a few months.