Like clockwork, there never ceases to be people who try to make money on the misfortune of others. However despicable, no matter what the tragedy or how low class, there is always someone concocting a marketing ploy or two to capitalize on the pain and suffering of their common man. For example, who can forget Jenga: World Trade Center Edition (I can’t find the link, but you can see it played here) or the Caylee Anthony doll?
To date, however, I have yet to see anything taking advantage of the Swine Flu pandemic. No sick piggy plush dolls, no “I survived Swine Flu” or “Someone went to Mexico and all I got was Swine Flu” t-shirts, and no celebrity-endorsed breathing masks.
Being that Swine Flu supposedly originated in Mexico, this week's Cinco De Mayo holiday provides the perfect opportunity to capitalize on the Swine Flu fad. The possibilities are endless especially for the producers of fine Mexican adult beverages have. All the companies would have to do is claim their alcohol cures or makes consumers immune to Swine Flu. Sure, this campaign would be marketing to the uninformed as well as slightly (ok, completely) deceptive, but don’t most good ads get people to believe a product can do the extraordinary? If I wear Wrangler jeans, will I be half the man that Brett Favre is? Doubtful. If I drink Schmitt’s Gay, will I be ... wait, nevermind.
Convincing the masses that swine flu can be cured or mitigated by Mexican-produced alcoholic beverages would be a marketing coup. Cases of beer and tequila would fly off the shelves. There would be riots on the streets as people wouldn't think twice of beating their neighbors for sweet, precious drops of Mexican-made nectar. And if the marketing is done well enough, the incredible fortune made by Mexican spirit makers would easily pay off the public relations backlash that would ensue.
Here in the US, of course, it is be illegal to claim alcoholic products cure diseases (stupid "snake oil" laws). So as a free service to our alcohol-making and drinking brothers south of the border this Cinco De Mayo I came up with a few slogans to use here in America.
This Cinco De Mayo, catch a Mexican import that won’t make you sick. Grab a Corona.
Forget those headaches and those ache-ies, drink a Dos Equis.
Jose Cuervo – The cure for Mexican sickness for over 100 years.
No thanks needed. Enjoy your Cinco De Mayo and avoid the clap Swine Flu.
