Saturday, December 6, 2014

The value of an Uncle

A few years ago, my nephew gave me a funny birthday card.

So apparently my value as an uncle is worth more than the aforementioned $1,000,000. That's good to know, especially if I ever decide to put my uncle skills on the open market.

But what if I valued myself for over a million dollars? What if I was a professional baseball player and made $20 million dollars a year? My uncle value, if exactly $1 million, would only be 5% of my professional value. I'm not sure that would be something to brag about.

Being that I am not a professional baseball player, and my salary is not yet anywhere near $1 million, could I use the perceived value of my uncle skills to answer the dreaded "salary requirements" question employers often ask?

Q: "What are your salary requirements?"

A: Well, being that my uncle skills are valued at over $1 million, and then adding my education and experience, I don't think I could settle for anything less than $1.23 million.

I'm sure recruiters would be cool with that.

What this card does not make clear, unfortunately, is the amount of time the value is spread over. Is it annually? Or is it over the lifetime of the uncle relationship? Since I am 30 years older than my nephew, there is a good chance I will be his uncle for 50 years. If my uncle purchase price is $1,000,0001.00 - a value $1 over $1 million - then my annual uncle value is only $20,000 per year. That's not bad, but not something to brag about.

"I'm a $20,000 a year uncle."

Sure, some uncles are worth less than that. Some uncles don't even know their nephews. But they don't get birthday cards with their value. So they must live in ignorance, if they care.

But I consider myself a kick-ass uncle. I have value. And that value is over a million dollars.