Last year, during my incredibly arduous job hunt, I applied to over 150 jobs. Some I felt I was extremely qualified for. Some I felt I was moderately qualified for. Some I took a chance. Out of those 150, I had a few interviews and few call-backs. But not one offered me a full-time job.
When it was all said and done, my 15 years of work experience and 1.5 master's degrees had to settle for a $15/hr internship. Great opportunity and great people, but I was a bit bitter at being only recognized as an intern.
One year prior to my job hunt, I shopped around the novel I wrote while I was in Afghanistan. I pitched the book to agents and publishers. I looked up their profiles, wrote personalized pitch letters, and waited for months. Of the 40 or so agents and publishers I emailed letters to, I received four rejection letters. I got nothing from the other 36.
I knew publishing was going to be tough, but to not receive any interest out of 40 letters was discouraging. I thought at least one person would want to read the first few chapters. I was proud of my work and still want to get it published. After I finish my MBA I intend on re-engaging the novel and write creatively again.
Since my first crush in 8th grade, I've had my failures with the opposite sex. I once read that guys should think about lions in regards to talking to women. According to biology, lions only catch 1 of 20 gazelles they chase. They don't catch every gazelle. Likewise, every guy has his failures. But I was the guy who wrote an editorial in his college newspaper about carrying an unused condom in his wallet for four years. (Not going to mention how true that editorial was.)
(Come to think about it, I am glad it was unused. Because carrying a used condom in my wallet would have been absolutely disgusting. But I digress.)
The bottom lines is, like most guys, I've had my share of rejection with women. Women I liked who were not interested in me, women who were interested but not in a dating way, and women who were interested in me and I was interested in them, but the timing wasn't right. I'd suspect I'm not too out of the norm.
Interesting aside: while I was job hunting over the last few years, I've kept dating to a minimum. The emotional toll of the job hunt was too much. I didn't think adding any social rejection on top of professional rejection was a good idea.
But when you tally all these rejections up, especially over the last few years, there is a lot of failure. I've been reading a lot about creativity recently. Most "experts" say you have to know how to fail. Failure is part of the effort. Inventors, artists, and writers always learn from their failures. They learn what to do, hone their craft, and attempt again, smarter and more dedicated.
After several hundred rejections, I've become almost immune to it. The best part about having a heaping hoard of rejections in the past is when people try to coddle me through a rejection or assume I am upset about a situation. During those times, I just shrug. I'm more focused on finding what will work and learning from my effort instead of dwelling on what went wrong.
Rejection is a diminishing bump in the road. A crawling baby struggles with a bump in the road because it is not coordinated enough to navigate the landscape. To a baby, the bump seems huge. An adult runner leaps over the bump in the road without losing their stride. Even if the bump makes them lose stride momentarily, in two or three steps they are running at full speed again.
