Joining Forces with the AfroSquad Again

Once again, I joined forces with the fine upstanding gentlemen of The Afro-Squad.com. Although it has been a while since the last official collaboration between the legendary "Snowman" and myself, during the past few months we have had numerous lawyers, agents, and other affiliated moneymen crossing the "t"s and dotting the "j"s to facilitate a final merger. And now I have proud to announce The Serious Tip and The Afro-Squad have officially come together and are out to put "The Man" on notice.

So what does that mean for you, loyal reader?

Well, first, you can expect more content. That's always a good thing, right? For those unfamiliar, The Afro-Squad specializes in pure funkiness, with a smattering of beautiful women and a touch of pro-wrestling commentary and interviews.

Is The Serious Tip going away? Will it be taken over? No and No. This merger is merely cross-promotional. The Serious Tip will be linking to new content on The Afro-Squad and The Afro-Squad will be linking to new content on The Serious Tip. On those occasions where we collaborate on a project, well, expect that to be on both sites.

LL Cool J in St. Petersburg, FL, Aug 2nd, 2008

I am going to go out on a limb and say that LL Cool J is underrated.

How many performers (rock, rap, country, whatever) have continued to be mainstream for 23 years?

23 years.

Think about that. In 1985, "We Are The World" was recorded; Mike Tyson made his professional debut; Wrestlemania began; New Coke was released; the original Nintendo hit the market; Reggie Bush, Kiera Knightley, T-Pain, and Dwight Howard were born; and LL Cool J dropped "Radio".

Granted, LL has had some albums that weren't all that good. But his name carried weight. If Run DMC is the Beatles of rap, then LL Cool J is the Rolling Stones.

Yet, unlike the Stones, LL Cool J isn't charging 200 dollars for a live concert. As a matter of fact, thousands of Rays fans got to see LL perform Saturday night for only the cost of admission. That's right, for the cost of a ticket, I got to see LL Cool J, pretty much for the great cost of "Free".

(Question: who pays for these shows? Are they sanctioned by MLB? Or are the summer concerts paid for by the teams themselves? These are the things I wonder about.)

Although the accoustics of Tropicana Field are not the greatest, LL put on a really good show. He performed somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 songs, to include "I'm Bad", "Radio", "Mama Said Knock You Out", and his verses from the "Flava in Your Ear" remix and the "I Shot Ya" remix. He also did a few songs from his upcoming Exit 13 album.

Overall, I was impressed. Even though the show was a safe, family-friendly mix of his classics and new songs, LL Cool J still has the ability to rock a mic and move a crowd. Given his continued appeal, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few hits on his new release and LL kept on going for another few years.

Loss of the Party School Crown

This just about pissed me off:

University of Florida Rated Top Party School

To all current and future students of Florida State University:

This is utterly unacceptable. As Seminoles, we have a responsibility and a tradition to uphold. Those heathens from the south are not and will never be better than us. I am going to assume the Princeton Review missed their annual trip to Tallahassee and just out of ignorance ranked us tenth.

Tenth?

Tenth?

Don't make me have to drive up there with a few kegs of O'Douls and start my own party. Because I'll do it.

Oh, and to those from the unmentionable school whom Princeton Review claims is the best party school in the nation:

At least when we won top party school in 1996 and 1999 it was before we won our latest national championship. We didn't need three championship parties to put us over the top.

How Now, Frau Vow? Thoughts on weddings

Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but I haven't posted in nearly a week. My most humble apologies. I was out of town attending a friend's wedding.

So now I'm back. With my friend's wedding now in the past, my thoughts are now drifting towards my own possible nuptials. When that day comes I want to be ready.

Whereas there have been other male suggestions through the years, here is a few things I want to happen if I ever tie the knot.

Encourage the Wave - Although I am not a big fan of the wave, I would highly encourage any family, friend, or complete stranger to start the wave during my ceremony. How cool would that be?

Say My Vows in the Third Person - How absolutely great would it be if when el padre asks "Do you, Jordi Scrubbings, take the future Mrs Scrubbings to be your wife?", I say, "Jordi does."

Wrestling Introductions - Although it might be a little low-class to mention people's weight as they walk into the reception, I think it would be great to have someone like Howard Finkle announce the incoming bride and groom and their associates. "Ladies and gentlemen, now entering the reception, the reason you are all here, the newwwwwww nuptial champions of the world, Mr. and Mrs. Jordi Scrubbings."

Sign a Program, Win a Dance - You know how at the ballpark the public address announcer will bellow something to the effect of "Hey fans! If your program is signed on page 37 by The San Diego Chicken you win a prize"? Well, I want to do that during my reception. Only instead of a box of Cracker Jacks, the lucky winner will be able to dance with the bride. "Hey friends and family, if your program is signed by Jordi, you win a dance with the bride!"

Imagine that.

It's easy, if you try.

New Florida State University Softball Coach ... Me

Although the fine gentlemen of ScalpEm.com usually do a great job of keeping the Florida State faithful up to speed on the FSU softball program, they are sadly lacking on the lastest development in the search for a new Head Coach.

That's right, I still have some strings in Tallahassee. There are a few bridges I didn't burn down, for emergency purposes of course.

What the guys at ScalpEm.com don't want you to know is that I applied for the Softball Head Coaching position. What they fail to tell you is that I was told I would receive a Super Squirrel Ultra Top Secret offer from the university, details of which I can not disclose.

But for those curious as to whether or not I have what it takes to coach softball, let's take a look at Florida State University job opening number 25613 and see how I stack up:

Qualifications:
A Bachelor's degree and two years of appropriate work experience.

(Check. As a matter of fact I got my Bachelor's from FSU - bonus points for me.)

Requirements:
Knowledge of sports medicine as it pertains to the training and performance of student-athletes.

(Check. I've been reading Will Carroll's stuff for over a year.)

Skills in the application of coaching methods to motivate the student-athlete in sports academic performance and in life's experience.

(Check. When I quit my local softball team - see? more experience - a couple of guys said they would miss my upbeat enthusiasm. To be modest, I'm a fan of the rally cap.)

Knowledge of NCAA, ACC, and University rules regulations. This position requires a police background check.

(Check, again. I worked for the university while I was a student. I know a whole bunch of loopholes, er ..., academic possibilities. And as for the NCAA, just think of the most tyrannical, nonsensical rule possible, and that's the NCAA. So check, once again.)

Preferred:
Intercollegiate coaching experience at the Division I level.

(Only preferred, right? Let's leave that box blank.)

Responsibilities:
This position is responsible for the management and administration of all phases of a sports program in a manner that upholds the philosophy, mission, and objectives of the Department of Athletics.

(Win, win, win. Got it.)

Develop, coordinate, and direct all phases of the women's softball program as it pertains to personnel (including hiring and supervision of assistant coaches, staff, undergraduate/graduate assistants and volunteers) and their responsibilities, budgeting, scheduling, travel, meals, scholarship allocation, recruiting, scouting, purchase and care of equipment, coaching, giving appropriate direction to student-athletes as it relates to academics, while adhering to all NCAA, ACC, Athletic Department, and University rules and regulations.

(Wow. That's a lot to do. But I am multi-versatile and have great tremendous coaching upside. Did I mention I am also synergistic?)

Promote women's softball through community events and public relations activities.

(That's easy. Car washes and bake sales. Car washes and bake sales. If not, I'll beat the door with Title IX. Give me some of that football money, Bobby. It's not like you are winning anyway.)

Work with the Director of Athletics in conveying policy or its interpretation.

(I think the AD will be a little more concerned with the well-doings of the football team to be occupied with me. But if not, that's what booster money is for. Hooray Boosters!)

In keeping with the University policy for equal opportunity and pluralism, the coach will provide a climate and culture that brings together and promotes through education, all individuals without regard to their background, race, origins, gender, culture, religions, beliefs, physical, or mental abilities.

(Umm.... does this mean I have to let all sorts of people on my softball team? What about drag queens? What about this guy? Or better yet ...)



(This job is so mine.)

Tampa is the lost city of Atlantis

Like Istanbul or St. Petersburg, Russia, the city of Tampa once went by a different name. According to author Dennis Brooks and his 30 years of research on the ancient writings of Plato, Tampa was once the lost city of Atlantis. In this YouTube clip and its accompanying book, Atlantis Was America: Tampa Was The Royal City, he explains his theory.

And in the words of the nearly-as-wise modern-age philosopher Scarface from the stirring cinematic masterpiece "Half Baked", "I believe him, yo. I don't know why, but I do."

Requiem for the Orange Bowl, Domain of Manimal

I received this image in an email from a good friend the other day. This is what's left of the Orange Bowl in Miami, Florida.

The Orange Bowl was one of those rare places that transcended sports. Although it was the home of those talented (and cocky) Hurricane teams and those ancient, way-back, long ago championship Dolphins teams, and was the location of five Super Bowls, it also hosted some the biggest names in music. According to the all-seeing and all-knowing Wikipedia, the Orange Bowl hosted performances by The Rolling Stones, U2, Madonna, and Michael Jackson (which I think was his Super Bowl performance, so that really shouldn't count).

Personally, I only went to the Orange Bowl once. No, it wasn't to see the Seminoles lose to the Hurricanes in one of the many missed field goal games ("Wide Right" even has its own Wikipedia entry).

I went to see Metallica.

Way back in their pre-St. Anger days, back when Jason Newsted was still in the band, and fresh on the heels of their Symphony & Metallica release, Metallica included a stop in Miami on their "M2K Mini-Tour". Thanks to Encyclopedia Metallica, I know now that this show occurred on December 28th, 1999. Check that out, they even have the set list and everything. Very cool. But I digress ...

Other than being the largest show I have ever attended (some 80,000 strong), and besides the fact that it was my brother's first concert, and besides the fact that I also saw Sevendust, Creed, and Kid Rock there as well, my Metallica experience at the Orange Bowl changed my life forever. It was the day I met a man - nay, a legend - named Manimal.

After spending the majority of the opening acts near the stage, my brother and I were forced to vacate our spot and venture nearly mid-field during Metallica's performance. Call us wimps, but between the constant shoving and being pressed into other sweaty male bodies we were becoming quite uncomfortable. So we decided to high-tail it to a spot where we could see the show without getting a steady diet of elbows to the ribs.

Back in the day, my brother was a big dude. Although only 16, he was, if I remember correctly, "a biscuit shy of 300 pounds". So when he said he was going to a less-crowded spot, I smartly decided to follow.

As you can imagine for a crowd that size, people were everywhere. The stage was located in the endzone and people were all over the field. Although I don't how rowdy the crowd was during Sevendust, Kid Rock, and Creed, when Metallica hit the stage the whole field turned into a warzone. Bodies running into each other, people beating the shit out of each other, and dancing crazies spinning like whirling dervishes. With size on his side, my brother cared little for this large array of oddites. With me in his wake, my "little" brother mowed through several mosh pits, throwing people out of his way on the journey to safety.

When we finally reached a relative area of calmness, where people were actually watching Metallica instead of impersonating human locomotives, we asked around to see if anyone would be moshing in the area. If so, we were ready to move.

Our answer came from a short, bald, stocky, stereotypical biker dude wearing a t-shirt that read "Fuck You, You Fuckin' Fuck". Looking deadly serious, this beast of a man said, "I'm Manimal, half-man, half-animal." He then proceeded to show us the biggest man-ring I have ever seen. It resembled a class ring, only two to three times bigger.

"You see this ring," he asked.

Of course, how could we miss it?

"Nobody is going to mosh near me. If they do, I'm going to hit them with this ring."

Sure enough, true to his word, no one moshed near Manimal. And to this day, Manimal remains one of the most intimidating people I have ever met.

So although the Orange Bowl is now gone, I still live by a few simple rules: don't mess with people who wear masks, don't cause trouble with people with facial tattoos, and never, ever mess with a guy named Manimal.

George Carlin (1937-2008)

He didn't pass away.

He didn't have a terminal episode.

He didn't have a negative patient care outcome.

And he damn sure didn't expire.

He fuckin' died.

On a personal note, I've been a huge Carlin fan for years. I finally got the chance to see him live in late 2006. And even though his most recent performances sound more like a bitter old man complaining (see his comments on fat people, people shopping at the mall, Americans being lazy, etc), and even though there was some drunk, annoying, loud, obnoxious boor of a woman behind me hideously laughing at every little Carlin utterance, I must admit seeing George Carlin was like seeing a master at work. He was the King of the Counter-Culture, the Rembrandt of Rhetoric, and the Leonardo of Language.

And so to quote from a Carlin re-visit to his Al Sleet "Hippy Dippy Weatherman" sketch, "When there is nothing left to conquer in your field, hey, it's time to leave."

Rest in Peace, George Carlin.

Discovering Bo Diddley

For years I was ignorant.

For years I knew nothing of Bo Diddley.

Thank goodness I came to my senses.

Although I have an extensive blues collection, not before last week had I owned any Bo Diddley albums. Following the news of his recent death however, I bought Bo Diddley's Greatest Hits. Now I am trying to figure out how Bo Diddley passed me by for so many years.

(By the way, did you know in Philadelphia, a Bo Diddley's Greatest Hits CD is worth 50 bucks? But I digress. Getting back to the story ...)

I like to think I am pretty knowledgeable about the blues and its influence on early rock and roll. I have albums (CDs, songs, etc, etc.) by Robert Johnson, Son House, and Lightnin' Hopkins. I have Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, and Howlin' Wolf. I have BB King, Albert King, Junior Wells, and my personal favorite, Buddy Guy. But I never had any Bo Diddley.

So needless to say, once I hit play and listened to some Bo, I knew I had been in the dark all these years.

Even though I had all the aforementioned blues tunes and knew my blues history, I never knew where the rock sound of early rock and roll came from. Where did the Rolling Stones, the Yardbirds, and later Aerosmith get their sound? Was it a British thing? Did they make it up? No, it was Bo. Bo Diddley was my missing link in the history of rock.

Unfortunately, it took his death for me to understand the importance of Bo Diddley. Rest in peace, Bo.

P.S. However criminally underrated Bo Diddley was, multiply that by 10 and that describes Willie Dixon. He not only wrote songs for Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, and dozens of others, but covers of his songs helped launch the careers of The Stones, Led Zeppelin, Cream, and countless other rock and blues groups. If he was around today, Willie Dixon would be bigger than Sean (Puffy, Diddy, whatever) Combs and Timbaland combined.

Hey, Wait, I'm Blogging Sports Complaints

With Will Leitch moving on from Deadspin to bigger and better aspirations, I figured I would finally post a piece I have been working on for the better half of six months.

(Truth be told, it was only two months. For the last four, the rough draft of this post was sitting under a pile of magazines until I just found it this past weekend.)

So without further ado ...

As corporate interests continue to influence more and more of our lifestyles, all-out revolutions in popular cultural grow exceedingly less common. The Beatles in 1964, Star Wars in 1977, MTV in 1981, and Nirvana in 1991 all shocked the establishment and altered the course of popular culture. These movements all featured the right mix of contemporary status quo, corporate complacency, an established underground, and a new exciting catalyst. To anyone reading this blog, it should come as no surprise that I think the culture of sports media is facing its own revolutionary phenomenon, the emergence and acceptance of sports blogs.

One of the best ways to examine the effectiveness of a cultural revolution is to measure it to one of its previous predecessors. As Leitch is a self-professed Nirvana fan, it makes sense to compare the his Deadspin-led sports blog movement to the rise of the grunge music scene in the early 1990s.

Let’s start in the beginning ...

Like several pre-Nirvana grunge bands, many early sports blogs were created as a reaction to the perceived stagnation and commercialization of the sports media establishment. Whereas the late 80s rock scene had been flooded with corporate “hair-metal” creations such as Nelson and Winger, the national sports media of the early 2000s had become fascinated with the glamorization and celebrity of sports rather than the games themselves. Sports fans across the nation quickly tired of platforms such as ESPN Hollywood and ESPN’s Page 3, the sports version of US Magazine.

In opposition to this growing fascination with “sports celebs”, small groups of Internet-savvy fans began congregating on fan-centric sites such as Metsblog.com and national sports story sites such as Can’t Stop The Bleeding. These sites would not only tell the news of the day with short, staccato-like, near-instantaneous speed, but they would also pepper the news with their own commentary, the opinion of one fan broadcast to others. In the definitive grunge documentary Hype!, a member of the Seattle scene describes the grunge movement as bring rock music “back to its basics.” As the sports blogging underground slowly expanded, and Internet communication became easier, sports reporting was also going back to its basics.

Although these early sports blogs achieved moderate success (comparable perhaps to the early releases of Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, and Mother Love Bone), the birth of Deadspin.com in September 2005 changed the course of sports blogging history. Like Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, Deadspin.com crashed the barriers of acceptance, surpassed its fellow sports blogs, and dared to compete with the giants of the corporate sports media establishment.

Through the power of Internet linking and openness, Deadspin.com became more than just an alternate sports media source. It created a community of commenters, like-minded sports fans, and lesser-known bloggers. Like the lyrics of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, Will Leitch’s posts annunciated a philosophy to sports blogging. No longer were sports to be used as a vehicle for marketing and product placement, they would again be something to be enjoyed and celebrated. Those who disagreed and either took sports too seriously or wallowed in their own sports celebrity became targets of ridicule.

Upon its inception, the mantra of Leitch and Deadspin.com was to publish "sports news without access, favor, or discretion". This guiding principle was almost identical to the philosophy of Nirvana’s recording label, Sub Pop Records. According to Seth Mullins of Associated Content, Sub Pop's philosophy was to reject a marketing-based "cookie-cutter mentality" and to "make room for the individual again", turning "records and performances into the means of celebrating individuality". By encouraging fans to participate through their comments and individual blogs, Deadspin.com brought back a sense of realness to sports fandom.

Deadspin’s success not only alerted the mainstream sports media of the influence of sports blogs, but also spawned countless new independent sports blogs, some of which gained significant acclaim. As Deadspin led the way and often assisted in viewership, blogs such as Awful Announcing, The Big Lead, With Leather, and Kissing Suzy Kolber acquired their own distinct niche and readership, becoming the Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Stone Temple Pilots to Deadspin’s Nirvana. Like Deadspin, these blogs all made a name for themselves in the growing sports blogosphere, eventually either breaking their own stories causing controversy through their posts. For a great number of sports fans, keeping up to date with their favorite sports blogs became a routine part of the fan experience.

Like post-Nirvana grunge, and despite its detractors, blogging is the “in” sports media trend. Nearly all mainstream sports outlets have some sort of blogging coverage. ESPN has Henry Abbott and his popular blog True Hoop, internet giant AOL.com has AOL Fanhouse; there is the Sporting News blog, and the expansion of Yahoo! Sports. Sports blogs, for better or for worse, are everywhere, and a focus on the game has somewhat returned to mainstream sports media. But the heartbeat of the common fan, that fire and passion that comes only with community and shared love of sport, remains far from secure.

And so the questions ...

What will come of the sports blog revolution now that Will Leitch is leaving Deadspin? Will his torch be carried on by the next editor? Or will the counter-culture philosophy of the biggest sports blog fall by the wayside, replaced by bloggers who would forsake their views as passionate fans for corporate compensation or cheap jokes? Will these and other bloggers ride their gimmicks to the next payday? Will the mantra Leitch promoted be marginalized by the very consumerist machine that sparked its conception? And once again, will the common voice of the fan be drowned in a sea of over-hype and disillusionment?