Wednesday, July 18, 2007

What if ESPN interviewed world leaders?



Last weekend at the White House T-Ball Game, Karl Ravech of ESPN interviewed U.S. President Geroge Bush on the subject of sports. Like his father before him, and Richard Nixon before him, George W. Bush has made no secret he is a baseball fan, admitting to watching Baseball Tonight quite often, and even once holding an ownership stake in the Texas Rangers.

During his interview with Ravech, Bush comes across as quite personable and knowledgable. When Ravech asks him about the controversial topic of Barry Bonds and his pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record President Bush, to his credit, gives a pretty decent answer. Bush explained that when all is said and done, he believes Bonds will judged fairly. All in all, a good interview of a World Leader by the Worldwide Leader.

But what if ESPN could interview other heads of state? Would the questions be as open to opinion? Or would they ask sugar-coated questions with the hopes of not starting an international incident?

Because one of the goals of The Serious Tip is to one day start a tiff of international proportions, here are my suggestions of what ESPN should ask different heads of state across the world:

To Prime Minister Gordon Brown (United Kingdom):
"Mr. Prime Minister, do you believe the United States should pay a heavy import tax before American teams can sign English soccer football players, especially those who may be members of the English National Team?"

To Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki:
"Do you feel that any urbanization effort on the part of Kenya would detract from the nation's lock on marathon events, as Kenyans would be more likely to live in cities and take buses and taxi cabs instead of running everywhere?"

To German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
"What is the German government's plan to take care of all the newly unemployed members of the nation's NFL Europe teams?"

To Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf:
"Is there any truth to the rumor that a member of the Pakistani National Cricket team used the cream and the clear?"

To Australian Prime Minister John Howard:
"Would you be accepting of PacMan Jones on an Australian Rugby Team, being that parts of Australia were once used as a British penal colony anyway?"

To Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper:
"If a sport is played in Canada and no American cared, did it really happen?"

To Zamundian King Jaffe Joffer:
"Since it has been nearly 20 years since Prince Akeem became enamored with St. John's Basketball and started a national team upon his return, when do you think your nation's team will be ready for international competition?"

(Last minute correction: according to this video, King Jaffe Jaffer was overthrown in 1997. Not sure who is in charge now.)