Sometimes even the best laid plans go to hell. Of course, when this happens in our personal lives no one cares, but sometimes unexpected disappointment slaps the face of the famous. That's when people notice. That's when they ask "what if?".
What if Babe Ruth was never sold to the Red Sox?
What if Andrew Wood never overdosed on heroin?
What if Elwood Blues had never been locked up?
What if Jimmy Chitwood had continued his holdout?
After thinking about these situations and many others that affected groups (be they in music, sports, or anything else), I decided to rank them in order of disappointment. My criteria was easy: what effect did the big decision have on the future success of the group? If the big decision hardly had an effect on the overall success of the group, the "Disappointment Factor" was low. If, on the other hand, the group or the remaining individuals in the group were not able to recover, the "Disappointment Factor" was high.
So in a nutshell, Disappointment occurs when a person or group of people see their chance of success vanish with one swift stroke. That stroke can come from anywhere, be it trade/retirement of franchise player in their prime, the death of someone, etc.
Discounting any time a team ended up making the playoffs or achieving success without a player (Bill Simmons' famous "Ewing Theory") and avoiding those transactions that eventually netted replacements (i.e trades for prospects or draft picks that had a chance of working out), and also discounting college situations (sports stars graduating, leaving early), here are my top eleven Disappointments.
11) The crew of the Man Show when Carrolla and Kimmel left - The Man Show sank like a lead balloon with the guy from Fear Factor and that other guy. Hopefully the crew had their resumes in order when Carrolla and Kimmel left.
10) Garfunkel after Paul Simon left - I'll admit, I don't know much about Simon and Garfunkel, but I know more about Paul Simon than I do about Garfunkel. Someone had solo ability, the other, not so much.
9) The remaining members of Sublime after Brad Nowell died (including college cover bands who make their living covering Sublime's 3 album catalog) - Sublime's one and only major studio release went crazy platinum right after the death of Brad Nowell. And like that, the other two guys' chances for success went up in smoke.
8) Sonny Bono after Cher left - Granted, he was mayor of Palm Springs and made news when he was mercilessly murdered by an arbor assassin, but I don't think Sonny's career amounted to much after Cher went solo.
7) The Orlando Magic after Shaq left for Los Angeles - After making the Finals a few year earlier, the Magic were left with a hogpodge of marginal players and the inconsistent Penny Hardaway. It took the franchise nearly 10 years and the drafting of Dwight Howard to recover from Shaq's abandonment.
6) Krist Novelselic after Kurt Kobain died - Although he is blogging or something like that somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, Novelselic has to wonder "what if" every time he see a new Pearl Jam album, or sees Scott Weiland in a new band, or hears Chris Cornell working with Timbaland. Would Nirvana still have a place in the musical landscape?
5) The Lions after Barry Sanders retired - Surprised the franchise so much, they are still without hope.
4) The NY Mets franchise in 1977 after management traded Tom Seaver in his prime for a gaggle of marginal major leaguers and no prospects - In one of the worst trades of the last 35 years, the Mets traded their franchise pitcher for a bag of trinkets. Granted other teams have since traded aces for a palette of spare parts, but there is usually one shining token among the handful of coins. Met fans looked at the trade as an absolute failure and were forced to wait until Dwight Gooden's arrival to have any semblance of hope.
(By the way, has anyone ever taken a look at the expectations of the name "Dwight"? Gooden and Howard both carried sports franchises as did Evans for the Red Sox, Eisenhower led the Allied in WWII and then became President. If you are going to name your kid Dwight, be sure they know they have a lot to live up to.)
3) DJ Jazzy Jeff after Will Smith went into acting - Has anyone heard anything from DJ Jazzy Jeff since Will Smith stopped being the Fresh Prince? Maybe he is back in Philly spinning house parties. Meanwhile, his lyrical mealticket is one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood. Ever think Jeff calls to see if they can get the band back together?
2b) Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding after Jimi broke up the Experience - Speaking of disappointments, the Experience were nothing before Jimi and quickly faded to Mike Tyson's Bolvia when Jimi broke up the band. Although Mitchell played drums with Jimi later, it was only for a short time before Jimi choked on his own vomit.
2a) The rest of The Doors after Jim Morrison died - On a related note, where are Ray Manzerek, Robby Krieger, and John Densmore these days? My guess is they are probably still milking the four years they played with Jim Morrison. Perhaps fans will eventually realize who the talent really was and that these guys really aren't saying anything new.
1) The apostles after Jesus died - Could there be a bigger disappointment? Imagine you are part of the most famous entourage in the ancient world. Everyone knows you are one of the 12 coolest people on the planet. You have your haters, but you also have your fans. People come from miles to see you and your crew. Then some ancient dickweed crucifies the leader of your posse. What do you do? Sure, you could write a few books like the guys in The Doors, but then what? You are not getting a religion or a national holiday named after you. People won't kill themselves in your name. You might as well go back to fishing, sheep herding, or whatever it was your were doing before you met Jesus. And if anyone asks if you were one of the disciples of Christ, just say "No", lest your mind wonder "what if?".
Am I missing anything? Is there anything else that should make the list?
