Perhaps you have heard the latest in post-life disposal. A few days ago, Dennis Mascari opened an opportunity for the deceased to stay close to the flowing ivy of Wrigley and carry their love for the Cubs into the Great Beyond.
Of course the questions will be asked:
Will they allow non-Cubs fans to eternally lay in a Cubs Crypt? Could they discriminate? Does the 14th Amendment ("Separate But Equal") apply to the non-living?
And what about the timelessness of burial sites? When alien anthropologists come down to Earth one million years from now, what will they think of what will be the passing fad of attaching a an animal-themed sports logo to a grave site? Will they realize that the burial site represents loyalty to an activity played by other humans? Not a god, not a tribe, but a group of contestants in an activity that has only been on this planet for the last 200 years - tops.
Why do I get the feeling this is just the beginning? Unfortunately, you know this will open a Pandora's box of ridiculously themed grave sites. While your great-grandfather will lay soundly in the Cubs Graveyard, great-grandma might just chose to have her eternal rest in the "Murder She Wrote" Mausoleum. How awkward will that be? Imagine hearing Angela Lansbury explain how your great-grandmother will enjoy her dead years. Kinda creepy, if you ask me.
Of course the questions will be asked:
Will they allow non-Cubs fans to eternally lay in a Cubs Crypt? Could they discriminate? Does the 14th Amendment ("Separate But Equal") apply to the non-living?
And what about the timelessness of burial sites? When alien anthropologists come down to Earth one million years from now, what will they think of what will be the passing fad of attaching a an animal-themed sports logo to a grave site? Will they realize that the burial site represents loyalty to an activity played by other humans? Not a god, not a tribe, but a group of contestants in an activity that has only been on this planet for the last 200 years - tops.
Why do I get the feeling this is just the beginning? Unfortunately, you know this will open a Pandora's box of ridiculously themed grave sites. While your great-grandfather will lay soundly in the Cubs Graveyard, great-grandma might just chose to have her eternal rest in the "Murder She Wrote" Mausoleum. How awkward will that be? Imagine hearing Angela Lansbury explain how your great-grandmother will enjoy her dead years. Kinda creepy, if you ask me.
