Way back in the day, when I could have had it my way, before I did marches, I worked for the golden arches.
That's right, my first job was flipping burgers and slinging McMuffins at Mickey D's. I did that gig during my senior year of high school before I decided to be all I could be.
Outside of the fact that I sometimes got food for free, working at McDonald's pretty much stunk. Although I didn't mind coming home smelling like onions and mustard a few times a week, and finally making more than my parents' allowance was a good thing, my beef (get it? ha ha) was that I was never on a consistent schedule. Depending on the manager, sometimes I worked 25 hours a week, sometimes four. Good thing I didn't need much cash, because I couldn't even afford to pay attention.
Even though it has been nearly 15 years since I was in the food business, it might be time to reacquaint myself with some culinary skills. According to an article on the Telegraph.co.uk website, Italian scientists are primed and ready to do some genetic manipulating and bring back an ancient species of cattle called the Auroch that "weighed around 2,200lb and stood 6.5 feet at the shoulder".
That's a lot of burgers.
(P.S. Oddly, for whatever reason, the Nazis also tried to bring back the Auroch back in the 1930s.)
(P.P.S. If the farts of regular-sized cows are supposed to be bad for the environment, wouldn't Auroch farts be worse? Wouldn't their farts be larger and more powerful? Is the payoff of more plentiful burgers and steaks worth destroying the environment?)
(P.P.P.S. I say yes.)
