I am an Ernest fan. I don't know if it is acceptable to say that on the internet, or if it is cool, or popular, or whatever. I like Ernest. Jim Varney's character is funny, unique, and a good-hearted dude. Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Saves Christmas, and Ernest Scared Stupid are classics in the line of Mr. Bean or Laurel and Hardy or Charlie Chaplin. Good family fun.
I am also a fan of good military comedies. Stripes is a classic, Major Payne was great, Private Benjamin is good, and even Pauly Shore's In the Army Now is worth a few re-watches and quoted lines. Most of these revolve around fish-out-of-water scenarios that when done right, hit more than they miss.
Given that Ernest always plays a fish out of water-type character, Ernest in the Army should have been decent. But it is not. Ernest in the Army is bad. Really bad. Only fans of Ernest should watch this movie.
I couldn't tell who Ernest in the Army was for. It had a complex plot, featuring a Middle East dictator invading a neighboring country while an international Illuminati hopes to get their hands on a plutonium missile. Meanwhile, Ernest joins the Army Reserves and is assigned to the only unit attached to a United Nations Task Force assigned to stop the dictator.
Ernest gets left in the desert, befriends a local boy, cavorts with a news reporter, goes on a rescue mission by himself, and eventually saves the day. Although he saves the day in most of his movies, Ernest in the Army lacked any charm and humor. Outside of two cameos early in the movie, Ernest's side characters were absent. Also absent were his friends who make appearances in his other movies (the guys who play baggage handlers in Saves Christmas and chefs in Goes to Camp, etc.).
Ernest movies are not supposed to be Oscar-worthy cinematic masterpieces. But they should be enjoyable, especially for kids. They could have made this a kids' movie. They could have had Ernest driving different vehicles like a tank or a jet plane. Maybe he could have saved the President or something. Instead they buried Ernest in a convoluted plot with bad side characters and no charm or humor for miles.
Instead of burying Ernest, they should have buried this movie in the desert with copies of the ET Atari game.
Grade: 2 Ernest Ewwws out of 5, knowhutimean?
